'She's sweet.' he said
but that's all.
'I don't wanna fall in love.' was the reply
and it only went downhill from there.
Lily white with hazel eyes
({*h y p n o t i z e d*}) by neon lights
He's the poison in her veins
and she's the venom in his bite
'I need you.' she says
'I can't care.' is the reply
She's so dizzy when they talk;
All that running around, against the clock
And never getting anywhere,
But never coming back.
And she was dancing with his shadow
Down memories hall
She said, 'Have I been seduced and forgotten?'
And he said, 'Baby haven't we all?'
Author notes
I still havent no inspiration to write. But I thought Id try to get something going... this is just notes... I know its crap.
Written August 18th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Amazing. Amazing. Amazing.
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i dont think its crap at all i can see that you are finding it hard to write coz it doesnt seem as free as most of your stuff uv written but its not crap in any way at all... because u know... stuff that YOU write isnt as good as ure usual stuff is still about a million times better than a lot of people's best stuff
(and thats a fact.)...
"Lily white with hazel eyes
({h y p n o t i z e d}) by neon lights
He's the poison in her veins
and she's the venom in his bite" - i loved that it was powerful and cute at the same time...
the ending was also awesome, so beautifully sad... and jus seemed hopeless... i love it...
you may hav writers block still but you handle it damn well baby
ilyx <3♥ -
Actually I think this is really good poem. It shows that men can get hurt so badly that they are scared just as well as women can. I think your the first person to show it from that point of view. Keep it up!
Love Always,
Jessie Lynn -
Honey...I like it.
"And she was dancing with his shadow
Down memories hall"
I love this line the best. Awesome Becca. Awesome. -
Crap you say? I liked it. The rhyme made me all warm and fuzzy. Not your best, true... but not complete shit either. I especially like the second and fifth parts of it. They're the best. The last two lines of the poem were brilliant.
Best~Wishes~and~Poison~Kisses
-Allura-
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