do you understand
i'm just a man
to take my heart in her hands
watch time go by,till gone are the sands
what does it take to be with a woman
that wants to be with a good man
just to hold my hand?
weeks, months, years
she still has that smile
like the first time we met
break up?...dare to make that bet
you'd lose it partner
my girl is mine, nothing finer
then to see her dressed to the nine
eye candy to you, dessert thats mine
A good woman is hard to come by
one that'll let a real man cry
stand by his side
when he fails, succeeds or needs a guide
watch sports bring him a drink
give him a massage when he has a kink
make love to him every night
fuck him every morning, doing it right
kiss him off to work, see him smile as he leaves
she loves unconditionally, this he believes
calls her at lunch, 'baby i love you'
'i love you too' she knows this is true
walking in the door
the long day was a bore
thoughts of a night out with the bros
instead makes love to his woman
taking her to ecstasy tracing her body with a rose
Author notes
Written August 17th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I have to ask
becuase my mind wonders always more than it wanders. If she is all of this to you what are you too her? Would she say the same of you? Let us hope so. I hope things stay this way for you always as you seem to be perfect for each other.
This is not a critique of the piece itself but how would this piece work if you got rid of some words? Just a thought. -
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read again :)
Its not about what she is to me...the poem is about HER treating me right. always being there, making sure i'm happy...looking out for me. at the end is where i make sure she knows that i love her and appreciate all that she does for me by choosing to stay home and make love to her instead of a night out.
this isn't about anyone in particular, just something i would hope I could find in someone.
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WOW!!!
this is an awsome read. Love the picture you panted. Write on, don't stop. The world would be at a great loss if you did. SO DON'T!
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You Ardently total of the
reader where your heart is, and this read is very sensual and sweet. It gave a beautiful picture of a strong relationship...write on!..novy
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Yes, everyman should feel he has a woman who is special. My girl may not be eye candy to alot of people,because she is getting up there. She still looks good to an old guy like me. All the rest describes her quite well. Best Wishes Louie. I always liked that name since I was a kid.
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Louie Mata, you swore
you said fuck, yet you yell at me
I'm just kidding
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An interesting write for you. It flips back and forth between sentimentality and typical masculinity, but it's pretty good overall. When you say "fuck him every morning" it comes as a sort of jolt to the reader. The poem flows along, all nice and sweet until that line. Perhaps you should try a different word there so it doesn't end that entrancing soft quality the poem had up until that point. Other than that, it's loveable.
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Very sexy and sultry write, my friend!
I loved this! Good to see a posting from you, sweetie!
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