Look of sheer hatred as he walks away;
seething, but tired from fighting all day.
Lack of understanding of why he has changed,
who flicked the switch to make him deranged?
He used to be gentle and you were once warm,
but now he's a monster and your heart is torn.
Watching him go now you feel sheer relief,
but your soul is empty, he's stolen your belief;
in human kindness, love and feeling safe,
he's left you in tatters; a lost, lonely waif.
You're wondering if you have the strength to go on,
you know you can't go back to where you came from.
He lured you away from that family life
with dreams of becoming husband and wife.
You curse yourself for going heart over head,
you'd never thought you'd end up nearly dead.
Perhaps if you rang them they would have you back,
but you cannot risk the 'I told you so' flack.
So you'll just live lonely and fend for yourself
regardless of suffering and failing mental health.
Now, a look of satisfaction as he walks away,
no need to endure the fighting all day.
Author notes
Contest entry 2
The picture is of XXCarcrashhumorXX
Written August 17th, 2006
A contest entry
- Give me your best #2 by love my jose luis.
600 points, ended April 28, 2007, 23 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
-
I think that you did a great job on this, I think that you are a great poet and I think that you should keep up your grea twriting.
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
~Alix -
Thank you so much for my bronze trophy and points - I am glad that you liked my poem!! I hope that what I wrote is far from your truth forever!
Blissful Princess 
-
Thanks so much
-
Bravo!
Nicely and very deftly done poem! Bravo!! -
Thanks so much Lilminx20 for your comment!
-
As funny as your comment was my friend, you didn't actually say anything about the poem itself What did you think (and no, I don't spy on you [anymore])
-
Nice smooth write with lots of feeling. Good write
-
good work
hey! did you watch my last relationship on some covertly placed nanny cam some years ago reverse the situation and write a great poem about it? i think so,youre very sneaky miss sneaky pants.ok where is the cam hidden?c'mon youve seen enough.tell me...you didnt ever see me dancing naked with the dog on my way to the bedroom after getting out of the shower at any point did you?oh,im so embarassed.im goin to tear this whole place apart.i got all day,a 2 liter(whats up with the metric system?i thought we dont use that here.gallon of milk liters of pop,come on america make up your mind chose 1 and stick with it)of pepsi and half a 1.75 liter of bacardi(metric system again)so im sure ill find it. -
Thanks so much and sorry to hear that you went through that! Sarah
-
Yep, it does doesn't it - I might put it under that catergory too - you liked it then!! Thanks big sis
-
Very Good
This is a very intensely felt poem. I had a girlfriend which I feel you have depicted in your boyfriend here. I connect very well to this poem. You have translated your feelings very well into words.
Well done.
Dimitri -
Thanks for your comment!! I really appreciate it!
-
Go ahead sister. You have been busy today and again this is excellent. So sad yet the ending seems to have a fraction of hope in it.
-
good
You did a good job of capturing that moment when a relationship snaps in half. It was a good write, it flowed well, was descriptive. good one -
thanks
-
lol, they certainly are!
-
Thanks so much for your comment!! I literally came up with these two poems in the last hour - hope they are good enough!! Sarah
-
Wow! nice write yet again!! I really loved this... you have such great ideas...
good luck [again! hehe]
-Crash
Adding your comment:
1 - 18 of 18
4 old applause
