4 a.m.
and I hope that sleep is near
I can't take much more
of what I put myself through
every little thing sets me off
I hate me
I love you
but the crying is coming
the tears begin to rise
I am sorry
for the things I shout at you
I wish that I was wise
happiness has always been an echo
so far into the distance
away from the light
life winds and turns
through a long abandoned wood
hazy is that winding path
and I don't know if I can make it
if I will make myself fall
into the trees
without you
or will I take you with me
my sleeping angel
its like the walls are caving in
and the water is rising
here comes the crying
that I can not stop
Oh how I wish I could believe in God
to have something to lean on as you slumber
I don't deserve you
even when you hurt me
I can only love you
but here I am tearing myself apart
5 a.m.
its still dark
like the shadows in my heart
that claw at my soul
I want so much to fall asleep
but I wont try
I will just sit here
wallowing in this self-hatred like I always do
feeding myself lies
wanting to believe
but wanting more to die
Author notes
This is the depression part of my bipolar setting in. I need sleep, but I need comfort more...
Written August 17th, 2006
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HOW CAN I HELP
Jessica,
There are people out here that care about you. The human mind is very destructive thing. I will destroy you faster than you or anyone else can do physically. I came to touch with the fact that my mind is my demon. And I don't think you fall far from that same tree. I feel for you I wish there is something more that I could do to help.
I'm here for along with the rest of your AP frirnds and favs.
KEEP YOUR HEAD UP -
touching
Devotion, your need in life is to be unconditionally loved for whom you are, not whom you think you are or who others believe you to be, but 'you' , the real you. All the other desires are just wants.
Edited on Aug 17, 6:58 because ''.
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