Misjudged by everyone
Including you
See what you
Have made me do.
Intensity times two.
You are the love
Of my life
I want to be with you
Until I die.
Intensity times ten.
Jogging to my next
Greatest destination
You are the very best
At this conversation.
Intensity times fifty.
Rain Rain go away
Come again another day
Where did that come from?
*smiles to self and walks away*
Author notes
I don't know what this is.. I am just experimenting with different things and using random thoughts to help me.. Thanks for not lashing out..Justine
Written August 16th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
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Cool
Hey girl, great poem or ???. Anyway I like it is made me say What the.
Love ya.
-
hehehe... I like this one!!! It is very random... You did a great job on it!!! Keep up the great work hun!!!
Hugs,
Beth -
i like this one, it is a lot different than the other poems i have read..the intensity lines were a bit distracting, but the poem was a random one and so some randomness cant hurt it..very well done..i love that last line...
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Uhm, honestly...this was...strange...I was sort of left going..."Why?"
Random thoughts generally create random poetry...but yeah...I must say that I think you lost my attention to the poem from the first, because the third sentence of your first stanza immediately breaks up and it becomes choppy. From there, it was just downhill. Please don't think I'm being rude, I'm simply telling you how I interpreted the poem, and you can always delete my comment if you don't want it.
The 'intensity' lines broke up the poem further...it goes from bordering on a love poem, to something else, to just blatant confusion like you just wrote several lines at once for no apparent reason. I'm sorry if this isn't the comment you were looking for, but once more, I'm just being honest, I am not insulting you, I swear.
~Slip~
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