Dear Mommy,
I am so honored to be writing this letter to you. I'm so grateful for the verbal abuse you've instilled in my life. I'm just so thankful for how you kicked daddy out of my life without my permission. Thanks mommy, you know, for everything, like the sleepless nights, tears on my pillow, and my obliterated dreams. I appreciate the full amount of motivation you've given me, along with putting me down when I made honor roll. I"m giving you recognition for being a hypocrite. Telling me daddy lied to me all my life, but what did you do? Just thank you for putting me up for adoption in your heart and mind, and erasing the reality that I was ever yours. Mommy believe me, I'm so grateful for your malevolent ways, and me never genuinely knowing you. You know mommy, when I become a mother I want to be just like you. This is my hugs and kisses to you for all of the pain and torture you've given me since I came out the womb. It's such a pleasure to see you blow up at me everyday over something as imprudent as a dollar. Trust me, I just adore the way you debase me and never think about my feelings. It's so convivial the way you only love me when I have money, or anything else you covet. Thank you for years of turmoil and perplexity. Mommy, I am so honored at the way you raised me with no love and concern. Thanks mommy, for everything.
I'm so sorry for troubling your life so much by being born. I'm sorry you and daddy decided to have a baby. Thanks for making me feel worthless and unwanted. It's so sweet the way you commit first degree murder everyday to my heart, mind, and soul. Thank you, seriously.
Your loving daughter,
Debreonne
Author notes
Painful Surrender
A contest entry
- Cut Me by My Last Breath.x.
450 points, ended November 30, 2007, 33 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SEEKING AP FAMILY by Three Doves.
525 points, ended February 25, 2008, 36 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Pain...Make Me Cry and Feel the Pain by MusicMattnessLives.
375 points, ended March 3, 2008, 25 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Lyrical Rain and I desire to be a daughter.
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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this is very emotional i had trouble reading it at points it very touching
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Truly heartbreaking... I can relate as when I was young I always wanted to apologise to my sister for being a waste, I still want to apologise to my ex for being who I was and I'm sorry I stopped him looking at child porn and I'm sorry I didn't put up with his words and didn't do what he said always... It's just the way these people effect us.
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This is a very painful write. Each word wrenches at ones heart, and I'd hate to be the one called Mommy in this.
Thank you for the entry and good luck
**Ktulu Blackwolfe** -
oh wow this is sad,
im sorry if this is personal to you,
i know gow it is be to abused,
thought my mother gave me more physical abuse,
but any type of abuse i know how it is,
it scars you but always remember there are always those who care for you,
good luck in the contest,
great poem,
love vamp xxxx
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Amazing
Wow. It's like, "to hell with her. i could care less if she brought me into this world. she should have left me be." i completely sympathize with you. i teared up reading this. good luck and good write. -
PERFECT EXPRESSION
Truth straight forward with no added sugar as hard as it is to present you did a super write. Thank you for presenting your heart my daughter and friend.
Welcome.
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B**ch *ss ***as
Guess how I feel, every time I see a youth in the street, guess how I feel everytime I see the dead or raped innocent, guess how I feel every day I watch the news. Murder Sher Wrote is in every little girls eyes I see, in every violation, in every devistation, it is the way of ignorance to tollerate it, but it is the way of biggitary to commit it. As to the piece, well I think it was a standard and strait piece of work but that simply means the heart and soul was given strait to the paper, no tricky forms or rhymes to juice it up, it was the strait pain of honesty. The honesty of this country that tries to hide the truth every day, that millions are abused and no one cares, no one does a thing... sorry must stop, I have no idea if this piece was fiction or truth, but such topics do bring courage and I hope it inspired such in you to, take care and good work. -
Oh wow! What a powerful and detailed
write. It's very passionate and yet is
sarcastic in approach. Very creative.
I loved the rawness in it.
Thanks for sharing this with us!
Reward on the 16th.
~The INC."
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Wow..This is amazing. I know exactly how you feel, and I myself have MANY entries on AP that are in this format, and have the same feeling. Thank you for sharing this in my contest..you have definatly done an excellent job on showing me how you feel.
Good luck in the contest!
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I think they blamed us ...
...for their own lost hopes and dreams... their dashed expectations. Parents who act out their insecurities in the ways we (you and I) write about are just miserable human beings. They hate themselves for all the things they did or didn't do, and pass their regrets down to us. I think back on what a 'crackpot' my father was and shudder. The amazing thing is that he was actually very different with his daugthers by his wife. My mom was his mistress. He did anything for them. This was very confusing to me. Somehow, I represented his own flaws in being a man and he just couldn't control his self-hate. So, I got the brunt of it. Sounds like he might have been a good match for your mom. I know what feeling worthless and unwanted is too. Thank the Lord we can write about it. Your letter is remarkable, and I think you are amazing! Love, Sultan
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Wow. This was very deep i could feel how much you are hurt threw every single word in this. Amazing job.
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Painful
i hear the pain in ur wrds - my experience was not the same as urs but all in all the end was the same - i was the last of 6 unwanted children - even @ my age now i feel that pain - feel that if my own parents couldn't love me then who could - but i do have love - my 2 kids - they r my world - i may not b the best mom in the world & i make horrendous mistakes in my love life but they have been & always will b the lights of my life - keep up the good wrk - emotions always make the best poems
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The things people say.
The things people say, which shape ones self image, can be so hurtful and personally I think writting them down really helps. Helps one put your anger in a place, gives it a face, so that one can move on. I liked the form of the poem in a letter. You where right I could indeed relate. It's written in a synical way, which makes one think. I too have a son and sometimes I have to stop myself short, from being a really "good" copy of my mom. One should always the negative to make a positive. Well done and thanks for sharing this with the world.
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My father and I have given up on each other. I thought this could have been written a lot better (examples of abuse, more about the father, etc.,) but I thought it was pretty good, and I relate. - oce
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Everything about this was strong, your words and how you expressed all of it. You are extremely talented and I love this. I also love the vocab use, it definitely brought out this writing out.
It's so sad yet beautiful how it is written. I can even relate to some of it.
Anyways I like it a lot.
Keep up the great work.
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very expressive
I shed a tear or two tis was beautiful even more so because I understand it thank you for helping see a lighter side of the things in my past -
This is so sad! I've thought of writing something like this, but I've never been able to let it out. This is just... wow...
This is just EXCELLENTLY written!
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This is very different and very dark... Very sad as well... You did a great job putting your feeling onto paper. Wonderful job and I am sorry you've had to go through what you've gone through. I hope that someday you will be able to forgive your mother and know that you are loved by people who are your friends. Best of luck to you in everything!
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Wow what a powerful write to your Mother. I could feel the pain throughout the write. So full of emotions and very deep and dark. excellent job and good luck in the contest
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