What do I hold
in bloody water
The fruit of it is
evident
Who are you to take
offense
Reality, you can't be
rid of it
When your attacking
my mosquito's
just to have a chance
at getting your whole hole
in my head
But I won't forget my
bloody water
Even if you try
Try to end my Madonna
Gag and suffocate my Goddess
Invalidate my Divinity
the fruit of this is evident
I won't wait around
So I can come back for you later
If your endless then prove it
In me I contain everything
Including forgiveness and your funeral
A gentle warrior and glacial hearted damsel
Just don't soak up all my..
Without my bloody water I am mortal
Don't even think of it
The only thing that will remedy
this mess
are the bony parts of everything
you detest
What I hold in these
discreet waters
Is enough to raise the dead
There is enough inside me to
extend past the borders of time
Into a place I feel calling
So much left unsaid
So much left behind
An entire history stirs and
wrenches my neck into this moment
This another pleat in time
A chance to solve the enigma
that is me
you
So I drank bloody water
and I'll be doing it again tonight
and perhaps one day we will be big enough
to fight the good fight
Because the darkness looks so much better
in the light
The fruit of this is evident
But the void feels endless
this body, cold and dense
In a list
A contest entry
- Release Inner Anguish (Dark poetry from Dark poets) by Girl With Guitar.
1300 points, ended August 9, 2007, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
Very intense write. The ending is great and there are many lines that are worthy of mention here however too many to actually mention
Great job,
Bandaid. -
Very intense write. The ending is great and there are many lines that are worthy of mention here however too many to actually mention
Great job,
Bandaid. -
powerful
this is absolutely stellar. i really love how you ended it as well. you're an amazing poet, and it's really easy to see the poem the way you write it. -
When the mind sends out it's passion
Upon the papers blind eyes ---------
The enigma of paersonality
Becomes jaded and hard to fight ---
Leaving the poets quill --------
To defer the fragmented parts together as one
This is an unbelievable powerful
And mind altering write not only
Is the darkness you created tranquil
But it also mends the emptyness
Each of holds inside,
Damn probably lost you here
But anyways, Bring on the pain
And the beauty and let your mind
And your soul, Bring us out to play.. -
This was a good write. Very powerful.
-
unique and beautiful!!!
to find hidden places
and know that which is known
to search in dark places
and sew seeds that were sewn
circling with mane in flight of the wind
dust kicks
and tussles
and licks
the lion and lioness
...showing light in the darkness. ...............by Lionslove
for Creatress
......................................................................................................
powerful, uniquely creative and a wondrous journey. my inquisition peaks and has been drawn forward by style, intellect and wit.
thank you for this wonderful piece!!!!
atb......................................Lionslove
-
Awesome job. You used a lot of imagery and description in this, and it's so wonderfully dark...
A great job. I liked it
-
"When your attacking my mosquito's"
It's good, but I wanted to specifically dedicate this comment to mention how unbelievably attention grabbing that is.
Awesome job
-
This is just... wow. So amazing. You have a way of making dark poetry beautiful in a way that is incredibly rare to find.
"So I drank bloody water
and I'll be doing it again tonight
and perhaps one day we will be big enough
to fight the good fight"
These four lines are so descriptive and impressive, I'm stunned! If I could I wouldn't be giving you only one applause! -
It's a little long, but not bad. Descriptive, different. A little unclear, but kind of personal, so that's understandable. Nice.
Thanks for your comments on my work.
--EP
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