The rhythm of your words
rise and fall- a lullaby;
faint accents of Paris
spinning destruction in
Cimetière de Montmartre.
Crumbling statues, dead
leaves and reptiles along
Avenue de Rachelle,
I am not that fragile, brittle,
we are not that young.
I wear your thoughts like velvet,
dark, rich, and sinful- hues of
twilight in the mausoleum are all
that keep me warm these days.
You were supposed to rescue me.
Author notes
Written August 16th, 2006
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
Brilliant piece
I like this. I like this a lot. Brilliant writing here. Such a well-written piece of writing and so deep as well. -
I liked the last stanza best. It flowed the best for me. The rest seemed a little empty and blunt... as if it weren't yet refined somehow.
-
Wow- you sound really old when you put it in terms of decades. (HA!) I apologize for not being able to come up with something new for your contest. Something's brewing though- am hoping I'll have time in a few days to bring the voice up.
-
Well, you are a freaking decade younger than me bitch. I am turning 40, so I can be bitter now.
Seriously though, this poem is so I can feel this one deeply. That last line is really a kick in the gut. Good job.
-
wow, this is so beautifully written!!!
thanks for sharing this,
this is an amazing poem!
take care,
♥SomeoneNobodyLikes
Edited on Sep 28, 7:59 p.m. because ''. -
okay, 15 lines but what the heck
-
This glows
It's all atmosphere
In 12 lines you've made Paris for me.
talk about success!
loved it
D -
Great poem
I can definately relate. Even as a guy, i get preconceived notions of how things should turn out. I'm a daydreamer, and i'm also a bit nieve when it comes to women. So, great poem. It brought back memories. I love the last stanza. It was the perfect link to the ending. -
WOW, I like this poem it has alot of meaning powerful words.
The first stanaa last line, was somthing that I could not undersatnad but other than that GREAT WRITE.
~Killing Lonlyness -
Wow, Tiffany, I forget that you can write soft like this. I like it very much. I think I have seen that last line in another poem? It is a good line. It is too darned early for me to critique this though.
-
Or possibly a hopeless romantic who is young at heart??
-
Ah, a turn, moved from woes me, to this being a good stand alone poem as 5 was. The reader now questions, what does the narrator mean by rescue me? Literal, figurative, is he/she a statue at this point. Nit one, similar language carries into each poem; smoke, velvet, etc...N seems, and this may come off as weird, but teenage boy, or young adult girl.
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
5 old applause
