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A new Romeo and Juliet

The Guy: to a friend

The girl I love is no longer here
Without her, my whole life's coming down in tears
She was my Juliet, I was her Romeo to be
I loved her from the bottom of my heart the same way she loved me

The Girl: to the guy

My dear love, I'm nothing without you
I Wish you just knew how much you complete my life like you do
Ever since we parted, I could do nothing but grieve
Why is life like this? Why did your parents make you leave?

The Guy:to the girl

My baby, my Juliet I wish I could tell you so
How much I cried, and didn't want to let you go
You are my everything, always by my side
But I had to leave, it wasn't my choice to decide

The Girl: to the guy

But why was it not? Why could you not choose?
I was afraid this day would come, the day I would loose you
My dear Romeo, please come back to me
Only God knows how much I love "Thee" (Romeo)

The Guy:to the girl

My sweetest Juliet, you know I love you like the sun
Always in my heart, you will be my number one
Because without the sun, I cannot live or survive
Your love is the only thing keeping me alive inside

The Girl: to the guy

The way you feel for me, is the same from I to You
The way that you feel inside is the way I do too
My Romeo, My Romeo do you love me?
Do you love me as much as you love Thee? (God)

The Guy: to the girl

My Juliet, my love I love you a hundred times more
That's why with you not, by the angels I cannot soar
Your my Love, you give meaning to my soul
Without you there, there is only an empty hole

The Girl:to the guy

The same way I feel for you, as you do to I
And since you're no longer here, it's time for me to die
Oh my Romeo, how much I miss you
Since your not here, death is waiting for me now, with no further a due











Author notes

this is like a dialouge type thing from a girl and guy at 2 different places but who love each other so much
Written August 14th, 2006

option 6

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • NickelleteXninja
    August 19, 2007

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    I must say that yo did a very well job.. For this option I was kinda looking fro one you made up..but you still did great

    thanks for entering


  • Ignis Corpus
    July 8, 2007

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    wow i loved this poem it kept my atention and that is hard to do lol, good job flow of this poem was good and good luck in the contest


  • suzume
    April 23, 2007

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    "My sweetest Juliet, you know I love you like the sun" I like that allusion. was it intentional? that is should be so like a suburban turn to "it is the east and juliet is the sun"?
    It's really interesting to me, how you kind of tried to urbanize the shakespearean voice. It works in some places and in others it seemed a bit shakey, but that's the risk with any kind of rhyme attempt. But I really do admire the interesting voice(s) in this.
    Thank you for entering this.


  • my savior-pedro
    March 22, 2007
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    this is soooo pretty!!!!!!!! i like it. thank you.


  • BeautifullyxTragic
    September 27, 2006
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    Aww! This is so sweet!


  • Tali28
    September 8, 2006
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    Very creative piece. I really like what you have done. Best of luck to you in my contest. ttyl Tali


  • Frodofan silver member
    September 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is very neat and original, though I do have some suggestions, particularly for these lines,

    "I was afraid this day would come, the day I would loose you
    My dear Romeo, please come back to me
    Only God knows how much I love "Thee" (Romeo)"

    Take the "you" down to the next line so that you have the "lose" rhyming. "Loose" is a typo, so correct that.

    And for the last line of that section, I would remove the parenthese with "Romeo." The reader should be able to understand your poetry without those (you did it again with "God" later on) otherwise, you have not phrased it well enough.

    Otherwise, a very interesting piece that works well. It's like a duette poem. I've not seen anything quite like it before. Well done. Thanks for entering.

1 - 7 of 7