Baby I love u so much that I cant fully explain
I never want us to be apart cause you complete my heart
I need you by my side my thoughts of you always race through my mind
I want to hold you forever and never let go your love is the only true love i know
Your the light of my life your all I got we will always be together whether they like it or not
Love your a drug to my heart when I'm with you i feel great when I'm not i feel empty
I must have done something right to deserve your love
Your beauty is so beyond my imagination it takes my breathe away
When you cry I comfort you till your better
When a nightmare scares you I tell you every things OK
When ever thing seems wrong babe you make them right
Your love makes me feel like I can fly
You make me feel things I have never felt
I can never leave you cause my heart is super glued to yours
When we cant talk I dance alone in the dark to our song
You are my world your what is on my mind from morning till night
We are a Shakespeare play with a happy ending
You are my Juliet as I am your Romeo we have over come what others think
We have over come many other obstacle but not a soul can pull us apart
Through all thees obstacles we have stuck together
Babe I love you and will forever
Author notes
THis is bout my gf that i love alot I hope everyone enjoys it thank you alot please comment.
Written August 14th, 2006
A contest entry
- Hopelessy Romantic Guys by Ice queen 17.
300 points, ended April 5, 2007, 37 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I hope you don't mind constructive criticism. If you don't, delete this comment, but if you're mature enough and want to improve as a writer, then read on. Your poem is very much a complete mesh of emotions, but has no poetic devices to hold it together. First off, the grammar and spelling are absolutely terrible. If you can't tell the difference between "your" and "you're" then you need to go back to 4th grade. Second, every line is a huge cliché, which ultimately means there's nothing unique about your poem. Third, the rhyme scheme is very lax and often I don't believe you intended it to rhyme. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt here. Overall, you have a LONG way to go. Think of better metaphors. You related your love to Shakespeare, and his most well known play, Romeo and Juliet. How many times do you think this has been done before? "Your love makes me feel like I can fly" is another terrible metaphor. you intended to say that her love mankes you so happy, so elated that you're always in high spirits. Truly, no love is all happiness and no sorrow. Consider: "Your love elevates my heart above the Heavens/cleansing it with the sea of clouds/as a sparrow before settling to nest." I hope I've helped you some. While I am glad you're in love and happy, poetry is not quite right for you at the moment.
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aww that was so cute totally romantic great job good luck
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Strong Emotions,
Powerful, Moving,
Very nice work,
Cheers.. -
thank u hide for ya comment
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aww so cute im glad <33 sorry i didnt know you knew me.
haha
great job -
For the last time...grrrr...*ahem*
Good job, hon!!!!!!!!! I'm lovin it, two thumbs up!!!! Best ever!!!
<333 Cin -
This is beautiful. I feel this way about someone only a few things are switched but Im sure he feels this way towards me. This is really a beautiful peice, makes someone believe men can actually love you without wanting just sex....sorry thats a blow at men and I really have no reason to talk. lol. Really Im gald you feel this way towards someone.
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thank you so much
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Glad you are back
You poured you heart out in this write to your girlfriend...It was an amazing write...Thank you for sharing it with us! Hope to see more soon!
Lynda
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awwwwwwwwww i love that poem so much. im kinda speechless of how deep u r. its beautiful.. i wish i wrote like u. its so amazing
-gabbi
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