Its rich texture
lies cool on
a warm and soft tongue.
A swirling wave of bliss
uncurls, then unwinds,
like a far off dream
barely grasped by
that lonely dreamer
roused by a dying whisper.
Knotted muscles
relax, touched by
a lingering coldness,
whose callused fingers
reach out and let
an emptiness
seep into that
beating heart.
Eyes flutter open,
only to gaze at the
empty cup in hand,
faintly reeking of
muted sweetness and
crushed flowers.
Author notes
My latest work... done for my last literature class. We were required to taste Sampaguita ice cream (sampaguita is a flower native only to this country) and tasked to write a poem about our experience... Yep, we had to use the senses. Since my writing is somewhat rusty, I decided to give it a go and came up with this. Thank you for reading this =)
FYI: Kismet - Fate or destiny, whichever one you want
Written August 14th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Loved it
God to me this was really surreal. It was like what your brain does as it tries to wrap itself in an experience. Just when you really focus to the point where every sensation becomes profound. A simple experience shared in its simple intensity.
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Well done
Beautifull written and so full of rhytem and flow. taking the reader fro here to there and back again. Well done.
*Go with God*
Valerie
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Awesome!
Very nice, almost erotica with that ice cream! Hey gf long time no c! I really enjoyed this piece and your talent shines through. Keep up the awesome writing
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hmmm
hello soda.bittersweet?yes,like the poem.glad to see that just one scoop is enough to rouse the poet in you.always a fan... -
wow....id taste that if we have it here haha....ano yan isang scoop lang?...hmmm
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wow! i love this poem!!! i luv it!!
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very nice poem you had penned here
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Never heard of this ice cream flavor before, but you have made it seem wonderfully enriching and endearing. Easy to read and understand.
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Hey, thanks
Actually... you're not the first one who said it. A friend of mine who read it also said that if I had not explained the ice cream part to her, she would have thought it was a kiss... and yes, thinking about it, if you take out the cup part... yeah, it'd be perfect for a kiss.. Now that is an idea thank you for giving me a muse to work with!
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When I first started reading your poem I actually thought it was about a kiss with someone dangerous or different. After your notes of course, I could tell I was wrong and it was about ice cream. but hey, you could always alter it a bit to make my assumption correct.
It's a good poem. -
Hi Heather thank you for the kind comment! Haha, no worries, I understand that it would be hard for people, who have yet taste this "flower ice cream," to comment on the content... but thank you still for reading Take care
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Hmm, it's an interesting topic for a poem that's for sure. Having never had this flower icecream, I can't comment in great detail about the content. However, this is a lovely little piece, that flows very nicely even with the short lines. Thanks for sharing and take care, Heather x
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This is god damn good =o
i love your words, they fit together so wonderfully
keep up the good work -
Yes, there IS a sampaguita ice cream! Sadly, it IS bittersweet, I think the ice cream itself is quite confused, whether it wants to be sweet OR bitter... It's quite expensive... P100... almost 2 dollars! Thank you for all the kind comments
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whoah!...this is really good i can smell the scent of sampaguita already...but i didnt know na may sampaguita ice cream?...and i like the soothing imageries on your poem...very very nice and wonderful..
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The crushed flowers line was the most powerful, and beautiful of the entire piece! Simple and full of images, I love it!
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Really enjoyed it, and your description was both lively and very sound, I hope you get an A+. Feel free to stop by and be freaked out by my poetry anytime. Sincerely, Tony ¦:¬{
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Very well written. I liked it..Great work
Soulful Woman -
great
great job -
Superb
Wonderful use of the senses, this poem surely got an A !!! The author's comments explained the rest of the story, but it stands quite well on it's own. "A far off dream barely grasped by that lonely dreamer..." Superb use of language. -
I didn't understand what your poem was about until I read you author's comments, and I really liked it. Your metaphors were very well put together. Good job!
ps. what does "Kismet" mean, please?
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I loved it! So much emotion that it transcends the sensation it describes and can applied to even greater experiences. Vivid and inviting. Well done!
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Superb
I think that you have combined your senses and your words brilliantly. I was not quite sure what your poem was about until I read your notes, and then I read it again and it all fell into place. Wonderful expression of senses which is very hard to do.
Dimitri -
omg this was really well written! very good imagery very intense great write! keep in touch
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