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Pieces Of Me

Me.
A shattered soul.

Many have left.
Many have torn a piece away
And taken it with them.

(Pieces of me)

Many have shredded.
Many have broken
And stomped on.

(Pieces of me)

Many have hurt.
Many have burned
And scorched.

(Pieces of me)

Many have crushed.
Many have crumpled
And thrown away.

(Pieces of me)

I stand here.
A shattered soul.

Many Pieces
Lie across this Earth
And beyond.

(Pieces of me)

I
Look
At you.

(My angel)

And only one thing
Runs across
My mind.

Will she help me
Collect and heal.

(Pieces of me)

So I will
No longer be

A shattered soul.

Author notes


Written August 13th, 2006

In a list

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • NotAMolly
    June 6, 2007
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    Nice expression of deep sadness, and a hope that a new love can heal the wounds. Excellent work!


  • Lady-Pegasus
    May 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful excellent, fantastic, what a great take on the title. I never get that verbose on poems so that should tell you that I am exceptionally impressed! WELL DONE poet! Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e


  • StarEyes
    August 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow!!!!!!!!! This is deep! I love it! very well said! You did a fantastic job on this one! Keep them coming kido!

    Love ya,

    Mom


  • Elfin
    August 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I was attracted to your poem by the title, which I think is really good but unfortunately I don't think that the poem reaches the same standard. Although I do like the content of your poem I find the continuous repetition too distracting, For me the flow would be improved with longer stanza's, the feelings and emotion convey well.Val.


  • grannyeri gold member
    August 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    So many pieces of me - a few too many, I think, or maybe they are just too close together. Very good concluding line.


  • Mrs. Mautino
    August 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    awww...i'm sorry your torn up justin, but i know amber will help put you all back together again. i loved this poem, keep it up. -MK


  • vivela silver member
    August 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very gripping poem full of raw emotion. You really let yourself express what you feel so deeply. I think it is a wonderful poem!! Warm Regards...vivela


  • JustAflashOfFiction
    August 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. VERY well put together. You have quite the talent.This not only gave me a little chill down my spine,, it made me really think. I love work like this. You have done a really good job. Thanks for the good read!


  • Loveboots
    August 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    repetition is overdone

    You did ask for crit:

    I like the background here, it works pretty well with the pieces theme - I might use this formy recent re-write of a piece called "Jigsaw" - thanks for the idea.

    I was attracted to read this because of the title - it's catchy and strong and it reminds me a Jewel song ("Pieces of you").

    I like the repetition of (pieces of me) between the lines, but I feel the repeats are too close together, that there should be more words between them to prevent them getting dull. Or perhaps you could remove half of the repetitions and have 2 stanzas between them instead of one?

    I also wonder if the repetition of "many" is a bit over done?
    If you took out all the repeated words in this piece there would not be a lot left to read - for me, personally that approach doesn't work. Sorry!

    Feel free to ignore my comment, it's only one opinion.

    LB
    x


  • princedammy
    August 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful sequence of progression! I love the concept, it's really very deep. True love can go a long way in healing the wounds of the past and make us one piece again! good work friend!....kingsley


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    August 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Excellant/Melancolly/Hopefully

    Extremely well done. I think almost all of us can relate to your thoughts in this piece. I liked the flow and rythm of your words.
    Edited on Aug 13, 2:31 p.m. because 'cancel'.


  • plzdiefasterlove
    August 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow.This piece was very sad yet powerful.I love the ending.Well done.


  • Night Phoenix
    August 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Awww.... * s n' es n' stuff* Of course I'll help you pick up the pieces, babe. as for the one I hold, I promise you that nothing will happen to it. I think you should also post this under either the dark or sad category, because that's how it strikes me....


  • Pinko-Lady Of Roses
    August 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Awesome poem! Very mysterious and sad. Well great write. -Pinko

  • Angel Falls
    August 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Ohhhh... Shiver..... shiver up and down my spine...
    This is very good, fantastic layout, a short piece yet so deep.
    I loved it, very well written.


    Angel x

1 - 15 of 15