in my backyard
crows call to the injured one —
how long will they feed you?
Author notes
I've had a crow in my backyard with an injured wing for over a week now.. Members of its flock watch over it and even feed it.. I didn't know just how social crows were.
I thought at first I should have called a local wildlife rescue service, but was reluctant since it would be caged and separated from its colony (the usual humane dilemma).. Just glad no cat has got to it yet.
For added interest, to see how intelligent crows are, check this link - particularly the short video of what it does: www.sciencemag.org/feature/data/crow/
Written August 12th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- The Technique of the Riddle by azure85.
300 points, ended August 26, 2006, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
-
Nice.
I have never thought of them as social either.
-
100th Hoodwink!
Really it is a shame that us humans can't learn a thing or two from the animal species, you craft so beautifully with brevity, this I have learnt already. I hope the crow one day flies to freedom. Best to you fine poet
-
Hi Maat. This is the first time reading this. How sweetly and gently you portray this crow. I have only read about crows in horror movies. I had an injured crow in my yard a few years a go, and I called the wildlife center here, and they told me to just let it die because crows were just a nuscience any3way. They literally told me that- I just couldn't believe it- I felt totally helpless, with no place to turn, and all I could do was pray for it. I flet so bad. Thank you for such a tenderly written story. I can't believe you were ablse to say so much in such few words.
-
awww that is sooo cute!! that makes me smile!!
-
A fine flow for the ubiquitous crow
Crows are ubiquitous. They dunk bread (dive-bombing) into our bird bath. Then come back from a Moreton Bay Fig to slosh it out in a minute and swallow their dumplings, as it were. Their aim is most accurate. Ron
-
Thank you, RR I'm sorry Jamie "made" you read it, I'll have to spank him for that
This is not really one of my best haiku, but it was an actual event
-
Jamie ( verses on flesh ) made me read it. It's an interesting outlook on life I guess...and it's cool cause you witnessed it. Amazing
-
awesome!
I personally liked yours and CookieZeals the most.I think both of u should have gotten something. I deleted mine from the contest awhile back lol. Anyway sweety u did a wonderful job hun.
Kari
Mmmmmmm maybe I should hold a contest for this later after the next staff one lol
Bye for now
Edited on Aug 26, 9:58 because ''. -
Your haiku is very nicely penned. Great job! My hubby's last name is "Crowe" (I'm Mrs. Crowe) so I must read the link. LOL All the best to you and thanks for all your help with mine.
Belle
-
Ah, Windworder, such a nature lover!
A stuffed owl should do the trick just as well, since owls scare the bejesus out of 'em 
-
A haiku about CROWS??? Only the hand of a woman would pen this. LOL My experience with the social nature of crows is one acts as a lookout while their terrorist brothers raid my garden of the corn planted. A dead crow hanging from a fence will keep the garden free of their socializing over lunch. Anyway, a thought provoking haiku.
-
I haven't seen it for a little while - I think it's moved to a neighbouring yard. It could flutter over the fence and into lower branches of bushes, so I'm not sure. I still hear it's flock's calls, so hopefully its still ok.
-
How is the injured one doing, Maatkara?
-
thanks Gennelle for your enlightening reply to my comment and for the links. I'll look into it for sure.
rachel
-
Thank you for your comment, Rachel It was a direct observation, as true haiku need to be.
Actually, there is a break in the syntax in the correct place (second line). i.e. The first phrase can stand alone and/or flow into the second. The last line is one sentence.
Your suggestions break the natural syntax so it does not flow from one phrase to the next.
Since haiku should contain no personification or deliberate metaphors, the question would always be from a human observer, not an animal in the ku, of course
If you can think of less words to convey the images, I'd be happy to hear them. However, you may notice that Myron suggested adding the "to" in the second line for clarity, (and still does not exceed 17 syllables).
BTW, the syllable count - so long as it can be spoken in 'one easy breath' - is not as important as coherency.
You may find this column on haiku technique by haikumonk helpful allpoetry.com/Column/423262
There are also some links to a couple of excellent articles on this earlier closed contest of mine
allpoetry.com/Contest/1257824
-
good job
I, too, thought that a human was feeding the crow. I love this haiku. You didn't need to add the story, but it was nice also. -
I like this haiku and I like the story. I also thought the ones who are feeding the crow are human an I actually think it's better - since it adds a cynicism to the question (you think you can trust humans?)and I think there should be a break in syntax:
in my backyard crows call
to the injured one —
how long will they feed you?
or
in my backyard
crows call to the injured
one how long will they feed you?
but these suggestions may not be so good, since it's better to construct a short-long-short set of lines, I think. Maybe it's possible to convey the meaning in lesser words altogether? I dunno.
anyway,
best of luck,
rachel
-
Perfect
Absolutely perfect in observation and in verbalization. I loved this -- crows are Biblical birds and messengers of God.
Myra -
So what is wrong with it? I mean, is its wing(s) injured or something? Despite the sad part, I'd like to see the socializing, never seen that before...if I got hurt my family wouldn't even bother to feed me...I wish I were a crow.
Wait a minute...I read a reply by you to Pollycheck...are you saying the answer to the question is only one of two? I suggest there is at least one more...until they get bored, no wait, there is another: until the fad wears off and their social duty can be justified as being fulfilled...oops, I'm applying my disillusionment with man onto those crows, lol.
Edited on Aug 13, 9:05 p.m. because ''. -
Thank you Pollycheck Actually, after thinking about it, the question I have already implies that - i.e. either as long as it takes to recover, or, until taken by a predator.
-
Maatkara, this is a lovely haiku. How nice of you to watch over the injured one. I am glad you took myron's advice, it looks very good. Thank you for entering our haiku contest.
Susie -
This is a very interesting haiku and the story in the comments is even more interesting. Reading over the comments, I noticed that you were a little concerned about the question. I have been thinking about that and have an idea, but I am having trouble coming up with the rights words. If you could get a question about how much longer before flying again or when it will take wing again, it would be more positive, but I am having trouble trying to wordsmith a question that sounds right. If you like this suggestion maybe you can come up with something.
-
wow... that's quite surprising. I've usually seen crows fight about, but feeding... gosh, that's just very... inspiring! Almost as if we humans could learn such care taking from them!
would have loved to see them at work.
lovely moment you've captured! good luck!
-
I enjoyed this, and was thinking along the lines of the humans feeding it as well. I love the fact that it was really the other crows feeding one of their own injured friends, great job with this
-
this is great stuff Gen
-
P.S. Of course I wouldn't have the crows asking the question.. that would be personification! lol
-
Thank you Myron! Yes, I think you're right, adding 'to' would clarify it.. guess I was getting concerned with too many syllables
I'm still not sure if I have the right question to end on (although it's a subtle implication of possible demise) -
heart-warming
in my backyard
crows call the injured one —
how long will they feed you?
thank you so much for entering our contest. i appreciate it as i know you're very busy - & i appreciate the care shown within this poem. before i read your poet's comments i thought the injured crow was being tended to by humans and the others were checking up on it. so in the final line, i thought it was the crows wondering how long the humans would feed their friend. i think i read the haiku this way, because of your first line which placed the crows in such an intimate human space.
my only concern is a minor one, & it's with your second line; i wonder if it would flow smoother if it was:
crows call to the injured one —
what do you think?
all the best in the contest,
myron.
-
Thanks Tommy
'Consider the ravens..' Luke 12:24
-
A Winner To Me!
Hi Gen,
Very interesting haiku from you. I like the positivity
of it and yeah, even nature teaches we should be more
civilized! Best wishes with the contest to you! This
is why you are a fav of mine, you always inspire us to
see the good things about life! Keep it up! Take care.
Tommy -
To verses on flesh:
Thank you Jamie Yes, it's hard to decide what would be kinder - to let nature take its course, or interfere (I hate the idea of caged birds - even to be 'kind').
I knew crows, including jays and ravens, were the geniuses of the bird world, but hadn't heard of this kind of behaviour before.
-
The compassions of the animal kingdom are more acute in my own observations than are humans.We know for a fact their ability to forgive transgressions out weigh ours.I've seen evidence through out my life.Wonderful piece you've composed.Keen observational abilities too.Not suprising,concidering it's you.~~Suseann
-
Awwwe! I am such an animal lover, I would be torn too as to what to do. That must be an amazing thing to see though.
Adding your comment:
1 - 33 of 33
