as colours come together where she lays
tired of wondering around
getting lost in this colourful maze
setting foot on holy ground
in the distance the moon shines bright
her face looking like a geisha's sight
she lays down in this colour scheme
no one now can hear her silent scream
~Omichi
Author notes
It is quite hard to make a rispetto, as i'm not used to rhyme .. i hope it sounds OK!
Enjoy! ^^
If you want to know what a geisha is, visit marian.creight
Written August 12th, 2006
A contest entry
- Rispetto Picture Competition I by ShelleyA.
300 points, ended August 21, 2006, 3 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Very nice write. Good imagery and rhyme. Nice flow. Very nice expression of emotion. Good descriptives. Nice alliteration. My only suggestion is to tighten the meter in this piece. Thank you for your entry. Shelley
Edited on Aug 21, 5:53 because ''. -
Vey good
Wow yours is really good too thank you for the comment on my poem. It surprisingly just came out rhyming like that I didnt even think about it -
Hy Omichi, I don't know how to write this rispetto thing...but it looked great to me.I like the words and the flow...just wanna to let you know..for what it is worth to you
Good luck in this contest,
XXJeannette
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Wonderful take on the image.Show imagination.~~Suseann
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