Cheap tin speakers croon 'Stuck On You'.
Chinese Valentine lovers pass by.
My eyes wander over our river
as a tropic breeze teases my hair.
A lonely gull captures my attention and
tosses it over the fishermen onto our tree.
Where, among the leafy branches
your laugh has finally faded and died.
Now, as a sticky tod comes screaming
by after a willful balloon, Kirsten,
I hope your floating away
has brought you better dreams.
Author notes
I admire Rof Cau's work greatly. Inspired by his "Tamshui (Kristen Part1)"
Written August 11th, 2006
Thanks to Richard for his editing notes - now finally completed.
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Ah.
Thank you for reposting THIS one! It remains excellent!
Jy skryf darem wragtig pragtig.
Groetnis hier van onder die Berg.
Myra
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Very Nice.
I like how you use your adjectives.
Thank you and Good luck!
[[ZombiNa]] &hearts -
nice
Thanx for entering!!!
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So tight, and sure-footed. Romantic and vulnerable.
You use words that mean something simple, but contain
a whiff of yesterday's golden light.
Impressive.
it catches among the leafy branches where
your laugh has finally faded and died <--- where the poignant voices hide. Ahhhhh..Loved this. Made me sigh..hehehe.
Thank you for excellence!
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Man, this is just what I had in mind, but you executed it so perfectly. Well done. -
SPLENDID!
Wel, liewe Neef, jy is verseker ook een van my "gunstelinge" -- weet jy? En jy skryf jou eie stem so gladweg in Engels, ek is skoon trots op die woordspelige van my kontrei.
Liefies
Myra
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veryvery sweet. I really liked this actually, kind of bitersweet. Something I'd read to a child, for some reason. Lovely, calming, kind of sad, kind of happy. Good job
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This is just so, so beautiful. Due to personal circumstances, lately I'm drawn to poetry about interpersonal relationships and this one really takes the cake. Melancholy and hopeful, wistful and grounded all at the same time. How did you do that?????? Just so beautiful.
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very interesting and unique
could tell a different tale to different readers
great job -
Great work here, thanks for sharing this piece.
Allen0826 -
its something when someone leaves a person and the love for that person plays within the mind. When will we ever learn
to hold on to the love for a person that has long gone was the truest of all loves. If the one that left had ever truly seen this love they would still be by your side . But when some let their eyes wonder outside the home then they are truly blind to love no matter who they fall for. -
This was a nice hauntingly sad piece, and one one that I thoroughly enjoyed. Glad you spent you ap dollars posting it or I might have missed this little gem. Great write. Merry Part and Blessed Be.
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Good poem. It captures how the narrator feels for Kirsten.
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absolutely amazing!
this is so0o0o0o0o intresting i loved it a lots great fantastic work here
earth soul rock n roll,
<3emily also known as justbeyourself -
Oh. This is an interesting little piece that you have penned out here! But I like it!
It seems like one of those streams of conscious things were you kind of keep changing your focus or following a bee through it's activities kind of thing. Does that make any sense? I don't know. It just seemed like it was in quick motion from one thing to the next as you tried to hurry up and forget something that was really bothering you to think about. Lestways, that's how it sounded to me. I think that you have done a good job of expressing yourself here. So thanks for featuring this so that we all had a chance to share your words and feelings with you!
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This was good, it had really different imagery. I would never think of Chinese lovers. I really did like this. You did a great job on this!
~*Destiny*~
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