Closing my eyes, again, tonight,
emotion storm pleas sent heavenward.
Innocent, blissful sleep I yearn for -
a fantasy I may yet believe in...
Yet, I've got a razor blade
with my name on it.
Memories slash my tormented soul,
secret blood leaks from my jagged heart -
reliving the sordid years of my anguish...
I become the captured holster
with my tender mind and body,
and you, the gun with yours.
A killing barrel you planted, unfettered,
your seed, liquid bullets shattering...
ripping a young heart of purity,
shredding innocent trust
with deliberate laughter for my pain.
You used me for your destructive delight,
your living, private blow up doll...
And still - a life time later,
I battle relentlessly
to return to innocence,
begging the night -
remove my shattered dreams...
It is said, time heals all wounds.
So, once again, I close my eyes,
hoping this will be the night...
Yet, in my tortured sleep
you return, destroying me again.
I am but a broken, twisted shell.
Some say 'this too shall pass',
and I'll say,
'no, this lasts forever'...
Author notes
The after affects of sexual abuse is something that never truly goes away. One may recover, may survive and become stronger... but the memories will remain... and will change one forever. There is no going back.
Written August 10th, 2006
A contest entry
- Options & Reasons & Excuses by Naridill.
1400 points, ended April 10, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 1st Round: Anything you want......:D [[Closes in 1 hour!]] by xox-lankan-xox.
450 points, ended April 18, 2007, 171 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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I love the beginning, I love the ending, however I found the middle was too long, I sense you could have still made it a beautiful short poem.
It is nicely written though. And I find that it was beautiful pain.
Thanks for entering and good luck
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I completely understand. However, this poem was written for another contest, and I had to make it that long, to get everything in there I needed to for the contest! That, and make it work
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very good
A tragic tale, one that no one deserves to experience and have to relive. Well written with some intense imagery. A great choice of bands, all I listen to and have for ages. Best wishes in the contest.
Mouser -
very good
A tragic tale, one that no one deserves to experience and have to relive. Well written with some intense imagery. A great choice of bands, many I listen to and have for ages. Best wishes in the contest.
Mouser
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