O, to be
completely and wonderfully
pistol-whipped by liquor,
blotto, bolt-upright
and belching love songs
to gin (just gin)
or whiskey, while
the house burns down
around me
and the bathtub overflows.
I could have sex with these spirits -
liquid, warm and widgy -
but I tell the booze,
"I love you,"
and it just sits there.
Fickle bitch.
Author notes
The rules presented a unique challenge, but I think I performed admirably (as you will see).
I used eight of my own twelve words (and compensated by mentioning a burning house). Blotto, of course, was the eighth Marx Brother. Widgy is a very unusual color, and I am, naturally, a body part (most days). I am also edible.
Written August 9th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Inanimate Love Poetry - Ode to a Thing (Contest) by burning house.
500 points, ended September 11, 2006, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-write Contest: Love Poetry by Nicole Hanna.
15000 points, ended January 28, 20 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Emily is a bad influence on you... but does wonders for your poetry Glad to see you stopped by. I think this one might be one of my top five of yours. You definitely know how to do "realistic" love poetry
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you are Hawk in Robert Parker Spencer novels ever the toughest guy =)
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cheater
If you had mentioned Paris Alba or Jessica Hilton or someone I'm sure you'd have garnered bonus points from that IQ dude (moreso than for mentioning a burning house). -
I have always thought that Gin is a good stand in for a real girl named Jen when a man is pistol whipped and sucking down the bottle. I like the last couple of lines too. But I am not sure about the author's comments. LOL. Are you edible? O, after all that drinking? Hum. I have a feeling a man that full of spirits would find himself on the front porch, locked out, with only the coyotes interested in nibbling. LOL. But, uh, back to your poem, and not teasing anymore...you know of course, it is a great poem.
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This was certainly good. Nothing like a great ending after a dose of humor.
As for the Marx brothers - I must live in a blur without knowing more than one, but does't everyone know a Bob??
Funny stuff Scott - indeed. -
time to put the gin bottle down Scott and walk away from the pistol.. or maybe the pistol is attached??
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LOL. You are goofing on my head here. I read it and said "Holy shit, I didn't even recognize ANY of the words how'd he do that?"
Lisa
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No, I looked it up.. you're right, it was blotto, karl and bob...lol
al -
What? Really? I was led to believe that there were eight: Harpo, Chico, Groucho, Zeppo, Gummo, Blotto, Karl, and Bob.
Hmmm...I suppose I could be wrong...lol.
Thanks for stopping by, Al.
Scott -
I believe there were only five marx brothers not counting the one that died in childbirth, the fifth and least known being gummo....
I'm sure you just joking, although i do like the poem...
al -
I think one of the reasons why I love you is because of your pure need to push buttons and bend things blatantly--I love this and your author's comments (love you, too)
Saffron
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Audacious !
I am going to applaud for the smile raised by your author comments,the content of your poetry did not meet the criteria of the contest as I understood it but you nethertheless produced a write about an inaminite object( though strictly speaking I wonder if alcohol is an inaminatte object as it has fluidity and raises temperatures,desires and lowers boundaries) you are certainly talented and audacious at that!Well done indeed,love and light,Yvette
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1 - 13 of 13
6 old applause
