I wanted to be a broadway star today and every day and some days
I listen to musicals and want to be
someone else.
The heroine, I want to be the heroine. The soprano and... I want to live someone elses life every evening and during matinees for schools and day-trippers until the end of the run
and then I want to be even someone else.
Sometimes I wonder about that.
Author notes
What?
Written August 9th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
-
Hey there, thanks so much for taking time to read my shite. I'm thuper glad you liked this, and grateful for the critique/opinion etc. Have a beautiful day~!
-
I clickied you from pretty in neon's page. Lucky me, eh?
This piece...I don't know how to describe. You took on such a desperate role for this poem (and maybe that's who you really are) that I could feel your sadness and your desperation within every word, much less every line.
Imagery. There was some. There could be more. The 6th (or second to last) line says "even someone else". I think it might sound better as "someone else", but hey, it's your shite.
Great job here. -
There's something beautifully desperate conveyed simply through the small number of line breaks. Intentional? Regardless, it works. There's something that made me pause, though, "wanted" in the first line is sort of incongruous with "listen" in the second line. Perhaps you should keep it one tense, unless that was intentional (as it very well may have been, I have a tendency to overlook things). Also, "even someone else" in the second to last line (too lazy to count the actual number.
is kind of awkward. A good piece, overall.
-
vat?
Adding your comment:
1 old applause
