Wetslinger

I walk through the projects with my little pail of water. Most people have a thimbleful at most. They don't appreciate it because they are winos and junkies. They don't even drink water. They want nothing to do with the wetslinger. I have quite a reputation. Gangstas and soldiers leave me a wide berth.



As I walk today, I see a small hill over to my right, near the upscale neighborhood. I have heard stories that chill your spine about that neighborhood. But, I am unafraid. I am the wetslinger and I have my pail of water. Perhaps it is time to see what the stories are about after all.



As I approach the hill, I see a small woman on the hill holding a large snake and smiling. It looks like she is inviting me to come visit. If she knew I had a whole pail of water, she might not have so smug an expression. I smile to myself. I look her over. She is just a little thing. Her posture is inviting me to approach, so I do. As I get about eighty feet away she points the snake at me and pulls on it's head. A blast of solid water hits me and causes me to tumble back thirty feet! That is no snake, it is a fire hose! Never have I been so all wet in my life. I am completely outmatched with my little pail of water.



But, I am the wetslinger and I will not be defeated! I look down and my pail is still full. I can take another shot. I stand up and begin to sing a sweet song. As I sing, I walk up the hill. At forty feet away, she shakes her head and opens the hose on me again. This time I tumble a full fifty feet! She laughs at me. I look and see I have spilled my pail of water. I tip it upside down so she can see. Then I sing again and start to climb the hill. She cocks her head and listens. I sing for all I am worth! She shakes her head and laughs. If I can get within twenty-five feet, I can hit her with my pail of water. I am an excellent shot. My pail refills by itself. I realize she doesn't know this.



I over-dramatize the song. She laughs. She cocks her head even more and appears to be listening again. I sing softly this time, and she strains to hear. At twenty-five feet away I swing my pail and let fly! She was too quick. Before I could release my pail she had me tumbling backwards again.



As I struggled to stand again, I became aware that I was much cleaner than I had been before. I felt different. This was more water than I had seen in years. It felt cool and nice. I was not afraid. I smiled broadly and sang my song again. She laughed and once again cocked her head. When I got twenty-five feet away, she shook her finger and her head at me. I acted dejected and turned around as if to leave. Then I heaved my pail of water over my head with all the force I could muster. Then I turned around to see what happened.



She was obviously stunned and watched the trajectory of my water. It fell about five feet short of her, with the exception of one drop that hit her square in the forehead. She recoiled a little in shock. Then looked at me standing there with my empty pail, and laughed. I could not see, but I know what happened. The drop that hit her forehead ran down her nose, and as she laughed at me it dropped on her tongue.



She looked at me with a sense of complete incredulity. I began to sing again and walked up the hill as quickly as I dared, and at fifteen feet launched my pail. She opened the hose on me once again and I tumbled backwards, though I could feel she had not opened the hose up all the way this time. As I finally got far enough away that the hose no longer pushed me head over heels, I looked to see. It was a direct hit! She was wet all over.



The small pail of water had washed off enough dust for me to see what a stunningly beautiful woman was standing before me. This time I did not sing. I simply walked slowly but steadily up to the twenty-five foot mark, made by my footprints stopping from all of my previous attempts to get closer. She cocked her head as if listening for a song. I did not sing. I simply held my place. Three or four times she pointed the hose at me and acted like she would send me tumbling across the ground once again. I braced for the impact, and she laughed at me. This went on repeatedly, until finally, she walked down the hill towards me. From about five feet away, she pointed the hose at me and very gently pulled the handle. A small stream of water came out. As a show of friendship, I took a long drink. She seemed very surprised.



When I had finished, she stood there looking at me. I held out my pail. After a pregnant pause during which my arm ached but never quivered, she stepped towards me gingerly and took the pail. She tipped it to her lips and drank three small sips. Then, shockingly, she dumped the entire pail on her head and laughed. When the water had run off her face, she looked at me and I must have had a strange expression, for it made her laugh again. She handed me my pail. I mindlessly took it back.



Now I stand here before her, wondering what she will do next. I can feel that my pail is full again. We have shared water. We have abundant water to share. I have no idea what to do and stand there, motionless, watching her. Watching and waiting for clues.