I'm a lonely sailboat in the endless oceanic maze
The bittersweet winds had chapped my masts
My stern is scarred by cobwebs of algae and bruised by waves
Yet my keel still drives me forth to the outskirts of Earth
Forward, into the obscurity of azure seagull calls
And away from the cold alienating shores
Forward, into the tight embrace of gales and thunder rolls
That are my only friends, my only foes
No harbour shall have me henceforth
For I'm ruled by the virus of resistance
I'm a daredevil, a threat to those
Who feel not the beauty and mystery of distance
My only beacon is Saint Elmo's fire
My salty soul is withing my ultramarine devotion
And even if I know that death is where my journey will retire
I'm not afraid to be drowned in the abyss of the ocean...
Author notes
I'm not exactly sure whether the poem is good enough for such a contest but I somehow like it more my other ones.
Written August 8th, 2006
A contest entry
- The premier poet on ap!! by Little Miss Mozart.
300 points, ended November 7, 2006, 23 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poet Laureate of all AP for the year 2007 Contest # 87 at The Winkler by Andantino.
875 points, ended January 12, 2007, 65 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - If You Want Comments... by RT michaels.
335 points, ended February 13, 2007, 106 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Alone.....Prewrites allowed by LoveNeverDies.
370 points, ended May 17, 2007, 93 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me the real you! (options) by Dalawa.
450 points, ended October 1, 2007, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites that dont suck. by parachute fog.
400 points, ended October 20, 2007, 93 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I love the descriptiveness of this piece, it's images paint a picture in my head, like a sepia-toned ghost story. Haunting yet fearless, sad though strong and without horror.
Good write and congrats on bronze.
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Thanks a lot for your kind words and applause. Sorry for being so late with replying! Been busy doing nothing heh, break rulez.
All the best to you,
Jan
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very nice write. Loved the imagery, and the word choice made it very powerful/convincing. And yeah, it's perfect for this contest (if you were talking about mine...) because your personality shows through well.
Great job, and best of luck! -
powerfully strong words that produce an image undeniably great. In your comment, you said that this poem would not be good enough for such a contest (though I'm certain you were referring to a different contest) and i would have to disagree. The way you describe yourself as the boat is flawless and keen. Typically i don't like lengthy lines within a poem, but it works very well with this poem. Thank you for your entry, and good luck.
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beautiful!
wonderfully magery with such excellent use of vocabulry to paint a picture for us all that have the pleasure to read this. I especially loved:
Forward, into the obscurity of azure seagull calls
And away from the cold alienating shores
Forward, into the tight embrace of gales and thunder rolls
That are my only friends, my only foes
and within that the azure call of seagulss totally captured me in here. WTG -
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Thank you!
I'm pleased to learn that you liked my scribble. I appreciate your words and time.
Regards,
Jan
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Great imagery in this piece and very well written. Crafty and unique! A lot of carfeul thought put into this one and it shows! Best of luck to you in the contest! Blessings,
Frogz~ -
Lovely
Lovely piece, the imagry and expression is very well done, and you have used lanquage in a very unique and captivating way, saying thigs differently to capture the imagination. Great write
Bunny
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Thank you for your warm words. I'm glad you liked it.
Regards,
Jan
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This is a wonderful poem. You have used some truly gorgeous imagery in this piece and it flows well. I do think there could have been a bit more development of some of the ideas - some of the imagery you use is a little cliched.
Thanks for entering the contest, and good luck.
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A great poem written with great depth and thought.Syntax was a slight bit awry but the poem was very good.Thanks for entering and best of luck
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This is a beautiful write. I like your use of personification. A delightful poem. Well written and flows nicely. Thank you for sharing this great piece with me. Good luck in my contest. ttyl Tali
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endless oceanic maze
The bittersweet winds had chapped my masts
My stern is scarred by cobwebs of algae and bruised by waves
Just beautiful, absoutly beautiful. You have such a talent and i love your style. You used the metaphor of boats to yourself so amazingly and made my heart sink.
Gold trophy all the way -
I'm a lonely sailboat in the endless oceanic maze
The bittersweet winds had chapped my masts
My stern is scarred by cobwebs of algae and bruised by waves
Yet my keel still drives me forth to the outskirts of Earth
i love the description and the language used in this poem, this is a brilliant piece of work
thank you for entering my contest
laurax
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