Years ago I remember well
as a child living in HELL
a loving home is what it should be
a mother, a father, and me.
Daddy was working all the time
money was short, and so was mom's mind.
If I spoke out of place
SMACK.............
a slap across my face.
Told the doctors I was clumsy
looking at all the bruises and cuts
but we knew it was just a cover-up.
The doctor said "put her in dance"
her balance could enhance.
Seven years later still bruised and cut
if I missed a step
the strap is what I would get.
School was a chore for me
my reading just couldn't please
math I couldn't grasp
yup this was a reason
for yet another beating.
Dad would take me into the bathroom
asking me "whats 1 x 10?
yayyyy.........I knew this answer
thinking a beating I would be spared
10 smacks with the strap, I couldn't hide.
1 x 9....smack 9 times
1 x 8....smack 8 times
1 x 7....smack 7 times
1 x 6....smack 6 times
1 x 5....smack 5 times
1 x 4....smack 4 times
1 x 3....smack 3 times
1 x 2....smack 2 times
1 x 1....smack 1 times
My body numb with the welts
due to that burning belt.
My face stained with tears
my mother just sat in her chair.
Oh dad you were kind to give me a choice.
The strap or a switch
from that Hyacintha bush
allowing me the time
to remove the flowers and leaves
so that switch would be perfect and clean
Thank you dad for being so kind to me.
I was never allowed to go to any sleepovers
A sheltered life I did endure.
As I got older
I did get bolder.
The beatings began to calm down
by the time I was fourteen
though the mental and verbal abuse was still seen.
I would go for a walk, but if I left the street
in your mind I was fucking every boy I meet.
I was the town slut according to you
and you told all the neighbors too.
Thank you mother for your kind words.
By the time I was twenty I went on my own
never looking back, til the day you phoned.
Damn.....do I hate phones.
Author notes
Yes there is some bitter hatered in my life, please I am not looking for any sympathy just something I felt I had to get out this is by far only a sample of my youth however I swore that I would never treat my children with abuse and I never have.
Written August 7th, 2006
I chose opt#3
guess you could call it parental abuse
love is like a photo
In a list
A contest entry
- heartbreaker by ExpectingMommy18.
550 points, ended September 22, 2007, 34 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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wow this was truly an amzing write and i have almost been in the same postion...my parents didnt really beat me..though i did get the belt alot...they always thought when i went out with friends i was sleeping with somebody...which i wasnt...but this poem really hits home you did a good job...thank you for entering and good luck in the contest!!
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I thank you for your comment, there is a follow up poem that I wrote called Mother what a fucking bitch, this one takes place years later when I allowed my parents to move in after losing thier home. The same behavior is still there, we all feel we are living in hell money is tight but we do hope to be able to move out some day.
Thank you and good luck with judging your contest.
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this shows a side of life that so many of the people would never have seen... we were never beaten by our parents but we grew up with them beating up each other and constant screaming between them. i shy away from any violence at all and my sister is more abusive... strange the ways that things effect us... i am sorry you had to endure what you did. brilliant write though
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Thank you for your comment, at the time when I was young I didn't realize that the way I was treated was not normal I thought it was just part of life as a child and if I ever told anyone my punishment would be worse. I have another poem called Mother What A Bitch (I think thats the title ) but it is of the times now,I allowed her to move in with my family when my dad die and yes I do regret it but I can't exactly ask her to move out either. Thanks again for your comment.
Liz
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Excellent write. I went through some of the same things you did. I was beaten with razor straps and sent to bed without eating. I also was subjected to incest by my father. I guess we both grew up in hell.
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This was very well written. I am sorry you had to go through this. Keep writing. It is a great therapy. Thank you for sharing this with me. I wish you the best of luck in my contest.
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AS A CHILD I FELT LIKE I WAS MISTREATED ALOT OF TIMES....BUT I REALIZE THAT I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE....SINCE I'VE READ THIS ONE!!! I LIKE IT!!!
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Very well written, life of sadness and betrayal. For that's what it is when parents do this to their children. They are the ones we are suppose to be able to trust and rely on for safety.
Behind closed doors, is a sad reality of life. Give yourself so much credit for stopping the abuse and not carring it to your children. This is not an easy thing for many to do. I was able to stop it too.
You are strong and free!
Best luck in the contest. -
Tragic what parents do to their own children. You did a great job writing this poem. The part that is hardest to read is the multiplications, being how many times you were hit. Terrible. You did wonderful with this write, showing such a tender part of your past. Thanks for sharing and for breaking the chain. ♥ Tink
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It just hurts me that you went through this. I went through some abuse myself, it was diferent than this, but still abuse. I'm so glad that you are able to get it out. No matter how well you think you know someone, you never TRULY know them, even if it is family. And it hurts when things happen that you can't control or change, but you do get stronger and come out a better person, well, a different person for sure. I pray that you work things out in your head, and the best thing that you are giving your kids and husband is love and tenderness and understanding instead of smacks and verbal abuse. You are such a strong and loveing person and you came out of a horrible situation a BETTER person. I know you don't want to hear this, but I will pray for your mother too. We are all sinners but we are all forgiven when we ask for it. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Blessings.
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Thank you for your comment and best of luck with your judging, there are many wonderful yet sad poems here.
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My love, I know all too well what lies in you past and although it is in the past. I am here for yoou and will always be here. With al my heart and soul, I love you.
Patrick
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this is an amazing poem and im sorry you ahd to live a life like this. im glad that you dont treat ur children like this. great poem. its beautifully written. good luck in the contest and keep writing
Thankyou For Entering -
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww sweety I am so very sorry...sometimes it is really hard to be with family when you don't wanna be....
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way to many memories have come back over the past year with my mother living here in the house it's very hard right now I refuse to speak to her and avoid her and presently I don't give a crap. Thank you for your comment.
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Love you!
My Sweet Elizabeth for now that tell we can figure out what we are to each other lol
I was abused,bashed,hurt,and betrayed in so many ways kinda like your modern day Cinderella.
For here is where we have a kindred spirit.
Beatings as harsh as yours no child should ever have to endure.
Sentences to hell seem like a mild punishment for the pain they should really have.
Your blood stained tears have turned you into a wonderful woman today. You'll continue to heal and hold your head up high. Many trials still may come but to each one....a pot of gold is somewhere.
Thank you so much for having strength and courage to stand up be strong and fight.
I love you hun and will always be here whenever you have a flashback whisper for me.
Kari -
I can relate. <33
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Thank you for your comment, I did vow never to treat my children the way I was raised and I never have. I am posting another poem in a few minutes thats kind of in relations to this.
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Thank you for your comment, but yes this really did happen to me there is much more but I would have to write a story and i'm not up to that. I am posting another poem in relations to this one so just give me a few if you want to read more.
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I know you say you aren't looking for sympathy, but this is just terrible. I think you are so strong to be able to go through that and I think you're a great person for not treating your children the same way. Power to you. I hope your future will be brighter.
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omg... is this true? this happened to you when you were younger??? if so then i am so sorry... now it makes me thing that my life isn't that bad... that there are others out there that has it a lot more worse than me. your poem has really touched my heart this poem is really good 6 out of 5 stars from me lol he...he.... kepp up the good work -tdcdancer08
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