secrets whispered
down empty corridors
when nobody's there
to hear
hushed voices echo
behind closed doors
they all have
their theories
each one convinced
that he is right
no matter what
the evidence says
their silent stares
or averted eyes
speak volumes
no words are required
the message is clear
you're unforgiven
you're tainted...
you're unwelcome here
Author notes
To Brianna- Honey i'm sorry people are shits.
Written April 9th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- A Story by Jettison.
300 points, ended June 8, 2004, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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thats reli good hun... bit scary tho :s lol but i reli like it... and i hope im not unwanted! 
well written and thanks for commenting on my poems rach xx
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yay
This is just amazing. Awesome job here. Thanks for entering this. right on, write on!
~Dragonf1y -
I loved it. There was nothing better describing mankind's blindness to think he's right no matter how you can prove him wrong with facts. I love that work.
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BeAuTiFuL!!!!
HeY bAbE,
Great job! This was really well written! You put an image in my head, I love poems I can feel or see! The flow and word choice was done well! I can relate to this write and I hope your friend is feeling better since this was written! You could tell you cared for her to be able to get into her head and write this through her perspective! Keep up the writing! Hope to hear from you soon! XoXo!
Much Love Always And Forever,
+Rhiannon Angelique+ -
I especially love how you ended this poem~~ such a forlorn statement that was~~ could anything be worse than not feeling welcome
What a beautiful gesture for you to write this for someone else~~ you are showing this person you understand the pain and that may be the most caring thing you can do for another
I liked the mystery around this~~ great writing
~~Dawn
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Obviously a deeply personal write - for someone in particualar. A lovely guesture. A poem is a fantastic way to let someone know you care. I make this comment because your communicated meaning will be infinately different for the intended receiver then for me, abstract viewer.
Overall presentation, good. Nice movement of ideas, no set stanzas or pattern with them, all fairly irregular, but doesn't detract from the overall flow of the piece. -
This was very well done, it's so rare to have the poem's style and feel so perfectly match the emotion it's trying to convey- but you pulled it off magnificently.
I hope Brianna feels better, because people are shits, but you've proven not all of them are. -
wow
Such an emotion filled piece
Very true people make judgement
The facts are not relevent
People are so quick 2 judge
If I'm thinking this piece is written from a bad personal experience... n if it's what i feel it is....
I'm ever so sorry....
I have been there....
It can be a lonely world....
ALL THE BEST!!!
WELL DONE!!!!!
I would be honoured if you could read some of my pieces....
Again WELL DONE!!!!!
-
Merry meet
Darkest Greetings from thy Lord & LAdy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Honey, I just had to read this piece again. Yet, though it has been almost a year they still stare, still whisper their poisonus words, I am tainted they all let me know this daily...
Morwenna Davina
Blessed Be
((((((huggies))))))
May the fairies protect thee -
Brianna told me I should read some of your work so here I am. This poem was very good... it's sad how people don't take the time to get to know someone and immediately assume something about them.
"no words are required
the message is clear
you're unforgiven
you're tainted...
you're unwelcome here"
Those words ring so true with me on many occasions. Excellent poem.
Brianna is lucky to have a friend like you.
~Lise
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Such a cold and lonely feel to this.
Totally agree with your comment, some people are real shits.
Head up and stay strong.
Thank you for sharing.
Rodney -
my feelings exactly
Honey I love you so...........I am crying inside right now, my heart feels as if it is being ripped open by poisonous talons and I do not know what to do. I feel locked inside and icy.....I am starting to smile only when needed again
Thank you hun for always being there
Blessed Be my sister
Brianna
****huggies****** -
This was great. People suck! A friend once told me just after we met, "Life Sucks, Get a Helmet".
You did a great job on this piece. I really enjoyed reading it.
Hugs, Tisha -
taken from the hearts of the suffering
i agree 100% with DarkDruidess, this is very well put...
i like the form as well, thank you for sharing...
luv u,
-=MJ=- -
What a emotional and sad filled write...your words leaped off the page at me...incredible...
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