The sea susurrates between my toes. Sand crabs race
the last trace of the salty lace. I listen
feel you between my fingers, wet sand
runs back to the sea. Taste the last
salty night. You slip away, half dreamed, half hoped --
all woman -- rich in the steamy act of creation.
This land awash, magnificence a tremble, brown
colors stealing contrast, mud men storming dreams, hiding
in war, drawing strength from fear hate. Woman --
sensual complete -- caught in the rhythms and pulse of the forever
dance -- need want. Met by love, lust -- fires of the open
flesh -- seducing the last bastion, the mind. Spirit
set free sings from the mountains. Mud man finds
his rock, rolls with it across the ground, luxuriating
in his senses, being set fire by grasses, vines , the ever
calling love song of vegetation and dirt. He finds
peace in discovering a hole,
a place to hide his rock.
The songs of love need more than mud. They need
man to savor the feast, bring his spirit and tender strength.
Woman set free, lets the passion of her rivers race
counterpoint her love songs. Rhythms syncopate,
passions building upon each other, increasing
graduations of togetherness build to a singular passion.
The salty flavors linger in my throat. My princess
spins upon her toes. Fingers trace the lines of chin and lips.
Draw me into dance upon this earth, this sandy shore.
Washed by river’s passion. Every cell unscarred
healed. New colors, peacock, spread this man around. Born
on edge of skin and sky, I can only feed her with gold
gleaned from the edge of sun frosted clouds. Pray that she
joins me where the land quivers settles
against the sea. Be washed into me.
11:03 PM
Aug. 6, ‘06
Alexandria
Author notes
This time I followed the songs of Santana. It is still a love song of a type but I looked a little more at the energetic spiritual side of the equation.
Written August 6th, 2006
In a list
- Sensual Breathing • next in list
- If I had done as I was told, look at what I would have missed • next in list
A contest entry
- Give me your best Prewrite by Starz of Heaven.
550 points, ended September 8, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 350th contest group one /finalists only by poet2angels.
475 points, ended August 26, 14 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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This is amazing and oh so beautiful...
I still love Santana and this has that magical, hypnotic feel to it...
"The salty flavors linger in my throat. My princess
spins upon her toes. Fingers trace the lines of chin and lips.
Draw me into dance upon this earth, this sandy shore.
Washed by river’s passion."
Gorgeous....I love this
Lynda
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this is one of my favorite poems. It shows my influences I guess. But, it feels to me that it reaches a level of sensuality that is magical and I wish I could bring to all my poems.
Love, Tom B.
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Gorgeous...how come I haven't read this one?
O.k. Tom..I was missin your beauty..I know you've been going through some stuff, and haven't been able to write us beauty like before..so, here I am, at your page, and here you are...LOL
Exceptional imagery displayed here...it's 50 degrees outside, but somehow, you have the ability to create the stirrings of the ocean, the soothing of the sand underneath..simply wonderful, my dear friend,
Get better soon, some of us really miss you
love,
Jin
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I suffer a blessing of richness. Friends, such as yourself, inspire me and gift me with vision and insight. My beauty is nothng more than a reflection of the souls and spirits I have been in touch with. The joy you share strengthens me. Love, Tom B.
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I wish my life could be like this. I really do. Thank you for posting this one
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I lived where you are for too many years. Part of what got me out was working at writing clearly and plainly what I wanted in a vital, vibrant style. When I started succeeding my life started changing. Really.
Love, Tom B. -
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That is awsome. I love your picture. How do you get it to do that.
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This only exisits because I created it. What are you creating these days?
Love, Tom B. -
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I create just my feelings. Past Pain, I wish it would be forgotten.
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Wow this is a really nice write. I think you did a awesome job with this thank you for your entry and goodluck to you in the contet.Best wishes
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Thanks for the HM. Hope the contest gave you everything you were looking for.
Love, Tom B.
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This is just beautiful, you obviously have a lot of experience writing beauty and this would be no exception.... wonderful imagery and softness envelops the reader with this one... sublime
Karen
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Not as much as you might think. When I was seventeen I became aware that I was capable of being exquisite in the negative but, I was cliched and banal in the description of beauty and the positive. It took me till I was thirty eight till I wrote my first beautiful poem. It was the beginning of my life turning around.
We can only have what we can create. I am fifty seven now and for the last fifteen years my positive poems out weigh my negative poems.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your joy in this poem with me. Joy shared multiplies.
Love, Tom B.
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Santana...I practice my bellydancing to his rhythm of spiritual heat and consuming love. Shaman is my favorite album. I can see this music's inspiration all through this piece. You also breathe emotion into the ocean; my favorite lady. It seems that this combines breaths, mists, air in a rhythm searching out its counterpoint in sea. Even though you mention mud and rock, holes and earth...this spoke to me more of the elements air and water. The mud is what is most visual, seen on the surface as the combining...I found the most pleasure in those things that you just give the surface view of: the need, hidden currents, the want, the salt (earth) that is already a part of the sea. I hope my continued learning of the elements can someday help me to express feelings this way. Blue
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A song of humaness, a dance of being and a rebellion against those who would diminsh the grandeur of love and giving by tryin to possess the freedom of the heart. The American Indians of the plains couldn't understand how you could own the land, I would add that along with that I do not understand how you can own a heart. Love, Tom B.
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wonderful use of metaphor - a
piece so wrought with emotion and very powerful imagery... kind of surreal in places, which I think adds even more to the poem... I love the symbolism and the comparisons... so filled with life and love and nature and the linking and likening of the three is done wonderfully... I love the human element infused into your work! this was a real pleasure to read...
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I love it when I can create a concrete abstract surrealistic poem. I love the way this dances and is sensual and concrete but dreamy. I am glad you enjoyed this, since I have come to respect your opinion as well as your work. Thanks. Love, Tom b.
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Breath taking
Beautiful poem well written. I love the sea and sand your write is like I am dreaming awake for it has a hind of sensual beauty.
(LISA)
"New colors, peacock, spread this man around. Born
on edge of skin and sky, I can only feed her with gold
gleaned from the edge of sun frosted clouds. Pray that she
joins me where the land quivers settles
against the sea. Be washed into me."
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This is a mad dance cross sea beach and mountain fair, full of a magical prayer so that a loved one will be coming. Glad you enjoyed the sensuality and the joy. Love, Tom B.
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pure bliss
woman and ocean
aligned
in a primal
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I love the richness that I discovered on this exploration of beauty and strength. I am glad that it lived for you as well. Thank you for sharing. Love, Tom B.
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This was a beautiful piece Tom.I enjoyed the imagery which you carefully paced through the poem.I read the opening lines a few times and thought it was a tongue twister.Then I read it out loud and it was not but actually sounded fine.
I spent a few days at the beach this past weekend with my son and some friends.So this was a nice compliment to the beauty of the sea.
This was a lovely poem to start my day.
~Helen
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It sings for me. The joy of love and the loved one is the opening lines. sometimes it is just the sheer beauty of it.
Glad you shared your joy with me. Thanks for the bunnies.
Love Tom B. -
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You're welcome
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Sigh......
This is so creative; so wonderfully beautiful!
I loved every line of this!
You are so creative; so talented!
Wishing you all the best!
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I was hoping to see you enter this. I will leave a full review/comment when I judge the contest. =D
-S -
Okay...
...now I've found two authors today, that I could learn from in their original word usage.
I sense a primality in this, very intriguing and mesmerizing in its nature. Your style is its own art. -
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poet2angels claims I am unique. Maybe. I only know that I strive to create a vocabulary for the discussion of beauty. The array of feelings that cause us to shiver with joy and glee are my favorite lexicon.Why should we be exquisite in negatives and paupers with trite praise in all that is blessed and positve. Love Tom B.
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To me, all are unique, and it shows in all they do. I see how we are unique, as writers and poets, in what we particularly do.
But then there are a few, like you, that push the envelope of uniqueness. That alone should be a fantastic motivator for the rest of us to do the same, and in that, simply love how we are all so different, so unique.
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BEAUTIFUL WRITE
Yes you have outdone yourself on this one and you have every right to be proud of it . For all the elements about us be it sand moon sun or colors is in a love dance that never ends . Its a kiss of beauty for those who can truly see -
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Someone at an open mic reading I went to called it Whitmanesque. I think not. It is a celebration of love and a rant against those who would try to turn it into a tool for self-gratification. To much beauty is musacked (made up word) and trivialized by those who think they are being clever. I do not want my soul impoverished by the blantant soulessness of others.
Thanks for sharing your joy. It is the greatest gift and acknowledgement that my poem has touched another. What more could I ask for. Love Tom B.
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I had no choice but to highlight these words because they leave me unable to utter a word. All I can do is exhale a hefty SIGH~
"Born on edge of skin and sky, I can only feed her with gold gleaned from the edge of sun frosted clouds. Pray that she joins me where the land quivers settles
against the sea. Be washed into me."
BEAUTIFUL! I love how you used the water and sandy shore as your personification in this poem. Very beautiful!
NA
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This is a blessing
The words you chose in the end compleated what started in three separate critiques of one person's poems on another site. Then, when I realized how they went together I put them together and this ending grew out of that. In the end she is the cause for celebration and I am only the humble soul fortunate to recieve this gift. Love Tom B.
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I can see where the wrods and einspiration came from this; I love how music and writing can so easily go hand in hand.
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This one is full of joy and madness. I hope it got all over you. Love, Tom B.
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This is the kind of work that makes me want to stop writing and just paint. other writers make me feel competitive and gives me an edge but this, this is so very sensual. some of the phrases you've used makes me mouth, wow.
It seems like you wrote this and didn't edit or polish it at all - I like that rawness that's captured.
You get so many views and comments and applauses...how do you do that?
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ways of delight
This was actually three different comments on one persons poems. About a week later I realized that I had the making of a poem. I put them pieces together and rewrote and edited as I saw fit. I tried to keep the pagan foot stomping madness and the rawness of man's egocentric behaviors paramount.
This should give some sense of my reviews, responses and critiques to poems. I try to stay positive but reflect the way the poem struck me, the vision it created. If I like the piece and I feel the need to make an editiorial comment I try to make the love as visible as possible or just ask the author if they want to hear it.
I give a lot. So a lot of people give back. I even spend a lot of time on my replys. So all of this is a way to show respect to the people I touch on this site. They in turn review my poetry. Some keep coming back cause they like it. Amazing thing that
Your comment about feeling you should just paint is a strong visceral comment. I feel highly praised. A gut response at that level is remarkable. I feel blessed to have touched you so deeply and to have you honor me with your response. Take care, I look forward to hearing from you. Love, Tom B.
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Excellent piece,very much your own voice resonating within,well done from the inspiration of Santana indeed,if only I hadn't parted with my Santana cd would play it now!
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The songs of love need more than mud. They need man to savor the feast,bring his spirit and tender strength". "Woman -sensual complete-- caught in the rhythms and pulse of the forever dance-need want." These make me feel that all to often life passes by and to many do not take time to relish the deserts before they devour them. That things to be appreciated often are not. I love the sensual, loving feeling I get while reading this. *angel
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Yes they do
This is a dance of our clay footed bodies trying to emulate the spirit within. Catch every moment you can, fish your memories for ones you have missed and hearld everyone. Breathe from your spirit and let yourself see the Light in others. I have a story on my site called "The Story" if you loved this then I think (if I knew I wouldn't ask) You will enjoy it immensely. I have the first two parts. The third will take some more growing on my part. Love, Tom B.
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'I can only feed her with gold gleaned from the edge of sun frosted clouds' This line is just mesmerising, what depth of feeling do you require to have realised that metaphor is just pure joy. Glad I dug back into your home page for a little more peace and grace to feed my day
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Such a compliment
To say you used me for peace and grace is a high compliment indeed. You picked out one of my favorite lines. A few days before I had seen the clouds near sunset where I work. I memorized the image and the poem to use it and letting it express the joy in my heart for being alive all came later.
Love, Tom B.
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< i am rather humbled
complexity and understandable. That is an interesting comment. Your praise runs deep and I am very touched.
I am not quite sure how to reply and that doesn't happen often. I saw your comment on Yahoo and anytime you like to and I am available, sure. I don't think I am making much sense. Love, Tom B. -
you pervert (LoL)... all your little "love" poems all sound erotic.
guess what... I think it's "PRETTY"
haha
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Pretty nice on your part
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i hope you are doing well my little friend
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o0o0o0o0o
i liked the descripitve way you write , as always
doing the kind of work i do in the real world the mud dance thing got me , the smooth feeling of mud/clay under ones hands to touch another mmmmmmmm
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Thanks for the invitation to read this beautiful poem Tom. It's purified with emotions of sensuallity and a slow burning ember still glows after it's read.
I love how you put metaphors to good use.
Slán Agus oiché mhaith.
Dolores. x
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Thanks for taking the time
I thought you would enjoy the language and the music that held the words in their own glow. I thought you would feel freed to experience the dream of love's life when allowed to dance. This one was sort of a reward, I guess, for all the work I had done leading up to this. Love, Tom B.
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These words wet the sense and make the reader deliver a welcome sigh of perfection after the last word is read. This is soft and has edges that have been finely sauntered to make them smooth. A lovely work as I am accustomed to by you my dear friend. Exquisite!
Much Love Always ♥
Renee
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Too Kind, but I don't mind
I have another of the same drift
http://allpoetry.com/poem/2442501
My sense of sensuality is really the predominant quality.
I am not so much trying to arouse the senses as to have the senses wake up and feed upon the feast before them. I want to make us realize to feel is to breathe and to breathe is to become part of life. I know, you know what I mean.
Love, Tom B.
This one is abstract. The one I send you too is far more personal.
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beautifull
this had me torn between seeing the beauty and feeling the lust..ooh it is definately one of the loveliest poems i have ever read and yet through the beauty it gleames quiveringly hot hot hot! great work,very erotic beautifull...
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Life is a celebration
The mid section is kind of about reducing everything to haveing sex. The framing verses are about love. I tried to be vibrant and sensual. It is a celebration. Life is a moment. We have divided into time. Love, Tom B.
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Pure Magic
Tom
I understand why others say this is your best because I agree with them...This was so soothing and calming for me and I really enjoyed this very much...Thank you for sharing this most breathtaking piece with me
Keep that pen flowing my friend and I will keep inhaling your words
Love ya always
Tes
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Interesting study in contrasts
Soothing and calming and breathtaking all the same time. Hmm. it would be interesting to hear you explain yourself further. Glad I could please. Try this for a little of moon light delight.
http://allpoetry.com/poem/1498207
Love, Tom B.
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< Thank you
This grew out of three different reviews of the same person's poetry (three of her poems). I was rereading one of her poems and noticed the review and realized that I had a poem going on. Took the parts and pieces and found the whole. I sometimes write my best stuff in reaction or to someone. I really am, I guess, about people and how they touch me.
Love, Tom B. -
Very well done, not that I would ever think you would do anything less. Beautiful metaphor and a very deep feeling of love on a higher level. One which I find very appealing, thus causing me to read it serveral times. Very sensual to the mind as well as the body. Deeply moving to me.
Wonderful work, which was a pleasure to read sereval times.
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Wonderful compliments
I am blessed by the gentleness and love on this site and at times am awed by the wonder and joy I receive here. I was fortunate to read someone elses work and from their fine lines, I was inspired to create mine. I am touched and elated that you find so much to be inspiring within these words. Thanks.
Love, Tom B.
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This sweats an ocean of sensuality!!!
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Gawd better get a deoderant
Thanks for enjoying it and taking the time to let me know.
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Rich
This is a vibrant tapestry. It evokes so many images and sensations, almost overwhelming. It's also held together in a perfect balance by the narrative viewpoint established early on. Breathtaking work!
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Why thank you
I hope you get to read this. For it is poet like Dylan Thomas, Yeats, Walt Whitman whose fantastic language and landscapes pulled and made me yearn to have words that poured like liquid off the page and poured into my soul. Thanks again for finding something worthy.
Love, Tom B.
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Dear Tom
I'm back with an triple applause for Mud Dance....
trying to get use to the site....luv, Novy
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Eloquent, Erotic, Beautifully written
You have captured the essence and soul of the woman. I love the delightful way you have caressed my mind with your words of ardent emergy. Just to reading this I can relate to the ways of good/bad and feel the emotional throws of lust when I read this very vivid free verse. You are some MAN! and she a lucky lady..... The last line is blazing with passion..write on!...Ennovy
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Thank you
This in truth came from three reviews of poems by a woman called Big Mouth Strikes Again on another site I am on. Her poems were sterling and I responded the way I do. I thought about it and realized that within these reveiws lay a poem. I gathered them together and this is what arose. I was and am blessed because of the rich fecund ground of other peoples inspiration that I am party to. Love, Tom B.
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Dear Friend,
Your poem is finely crafted. Your words are weaved with the talent of the wordsmith that you are. The metaphors leap from the page with pure assurance. Isn't love grand. I can sense such adoration in so many lines written here. What a wondrous work of word-art. This is splendid. I was left with my mouth agape. You are such a sensitive man to know our moods. Excellent!
Much Love ♥
Renee
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What can I say
But, thank you. I appreciate that you enjoyed it. That it delighted and moved you is all I could ask.
I don't know any great mysterys. I only speak to what I see and feel. Sometimes, as with this poem, I get lucky.
Love, Tom B.
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This poem certainly captures the reader. This, "He finds
peace in discovering a hole,
a place to hide his rock." is not as innocent as it appears, I think. I had to smile at that. The Poem builds in intensity as it goes on, until I almost felt like I was intruding on you and your love.
. Rewarded 4
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No secret
There are definite double innuendos. It was to show how Man (humanity) had objectified the concourse of intimacy so it could be treated like a possession. Inimacy for better living 101. All experience, talent can be replaced with proper training. Creativity is injectable. When we do this we no longer have to give homage, respect and/or veneration to the gifts that people share with us. This is sad.
Thank you for being open to the intensity. That is a gift on your part. Your sensitivity gives itself away in the next line. Of course, I was trying to create this initmacy, this tender, strong expression of love. I want to steal your breath away. Leave you longing for a touch that will cause you to rush to life and breath air you never knew could taste so good. Love, Tom B.
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Oh! This is a nice little piece that you have written here! I really liked this! But then again I am a woman. This all sounds very primal and priceless. It was very entralling to see that a man could have such deep calling and yearnings for a female. Most men only know how to speak gruffly. This one really got to me. I think you did such a good job with this!
. Rewarded 4
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Thanks for finding invaluable.
Your joy in this is a blessing and I am touched deeply by your joy. This has been a real hit on open mic night and I think it is the joy and sensuality in the poem and the contrast between those in love and those in lust. Just a guess. I am trying to write more in this style, but it is a collosal challenge. Love, Tom B.
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Crabs like water logged meat
Get out of the water stand on the pier. 
Last time I looked the tide was going out. Stay where you are and after a few shouts, you should be just fine. High and dry. But, just fine
Love, Tom B.
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In poetry, I always say "Less is more." Dancing around the subject invites the reader to surmise what they wish, and question the real intent of the poem. It makes it much more enjoyable to read, and the reader isn't pigeon-holed when a poem is far too direct and clear-cut, where imagination is not given the chance to enter the equation.
So, I enjoyed reading your poem, and gleaning info from what is said and reading between the lines. Thanks for posting it, and good luck in the contest.
Now if I could just stop this crab from ripping into my foot, everything will be peachy lol j/k
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Now, I am the one at a lost for words. I strive to achieve certain internalized goals. I am blessed with a gift for being able to explicate and express those. What touches me and leaves me humble is the joy of your comment and the depth of understanding that it expresses. My thanks to you for reading and exploring and for being willing to share it all with me. It is truly a great gift to this poet to hear what you have to share. Love,Tom B.
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Hi Tom. Well done!
Beautiful sensual poetry with wonderful metaphors!
Very tastefully done!
I enjoyed reading your comment to Lynda and I agree that you captured all that you desired with this write!
Thank you for entering our contest!
Jasminerose
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I have gotten very caught up in the sensual and imagery side of the erotic. We all know the pornographic side and once seen and titillated, our senses crave a deeper vision. With words, I try to capture the energy, the dynamic application of the energy, the spiritual journey, the internal dialouges and insights. It is these areas I think that we want to be stretched, teased and pulled to because this is where the real life begins, not it the simply material universe. Your friend, Tom B.
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