Her and her and her.
Who am I trying to fool?
She thinks with tears in her eyes.
I mean: I think with tears in my eyes.
It is, after all, about me.
She is me. I am her.
First person singular: I.
There is no fabricated fantasy anymore.
There is no main character.
No plot.
No climax.
No happy ending.
It's over now.
But there is me.
And you. Somewhere out there.
There's you.
And I'm glad there's you.
And I'm glad that I know there's you.
And somewhere,
in a remote corner somewhere,
there's a we.
A little we.
That will still be there no matter what happens now.
First person plural. We.
I. And you.
We.
Author notes
Written August 6th, 2006
What did you think
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1 - 5 of 5
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I love it, Skye!
I love the beautiful hopeful message it conveys. I haven't been on this site in forever, but I do remember the nice comments your leave on my poetry. So I had to check out some of yours again.
Very nice, anyway! I especially enjoy the ending. How you insist on the "We". It's great! Keep it up! I'll try to check the site out a little more often! -
s
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Very strong voice in this piece, and it's stream-of-consciousness element adds to that. I think what could really improve it is making it a bit more concise. There's some repetition of idea that caused me to stumble, and if you could combine some ideas, it'd feel a little better. That's kind of connected to the profundity of periods; I'd suggest killing or changing some of them. Nice work, though.
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Bleh..I never know what to say to these sort of comments. People on here can make you believe anything and give you false hope of talent.
I'm glad you liked it, thanks for taking the time to comment. I hope everything [work, classes] is going well for you.
-Skye -
beautiful.
simply beautiful.
there's nothing more to say.
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