I've been broken before,
many times I've shut the door
with a wounded heart,
tears and anguish,
asking "why did this happen?"
My choices have been poor,
falling for the lies
again and again,
wanting to be loved,
daring to take that chance
this one may not want
to cause me harm.
Retreating into my inner world
remembering how it felt
to be wanted again,
having someone who cares,
happy to see me,
hear my voice.....
Foolishness has no age,
no cut off point,
even if the flags appearing
are the brightest shade of red.
My inner conscious made me doubt,
attempting to save me.
At the very moment
I finally believed,
the love began to die,
sweet words were no more.
Shock and disbelief shrouded
my heart and soul.
False accusations,
incredible stories
only a poet could tell.
Typing through tears
falling silently
in the dark
and lonely night,
all my dreams had been
turned to dust.
Author notes
I chose the option--Love lost, broken love
Aurora 2012
In a list
A contest entry
- [Baby Tug The String On My Back, Maybe I'll Breathe A Little Longer.] by SarahEatsAirplane.
343 points, ended August 21, 2007, 57 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn that silver into gold pt II by whispernthedark.
400 points, ended February 9, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 45 of 45
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You captured the longing, lonliness and heartache so perfectly. This poem really touched me. Great write, thank you for entering the contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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it is soooooo...good
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I love it!!!!!!!!!
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thank you
Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I am glad you enjoyed reading this poem.
Ethereal One
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Thank you for your kind words. A great poet? I have never been called that before.
I was happy to put my poem into your contest.
Ethereal Melody
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wow ur a great poet. great write i liek this poem a lot. thanks for entering my contest and good luck.
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I guess every poet on this site could rework their poems. I am happy with this one, and I do not see cliches. It expresses emotions I was going through.
Ethereal Melody
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It's not so much about liking or not liking, but how you could make it better. I thought maybe you might want to take the cliches and rework them to give the piece more depth. I didn't say I didn't like it in its entirety, just that you could work it.
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Thank you zciindiiz. I am glad you could feel the emotion behind this write, and I appreciate your remarks.
Ethereal Melody
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Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I think a lot of people will be able to relate to it. I am happy you enjoyed reading this poem.
Ethereal Melody
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"all my dreams had been
turned to dust." That was my favorite part. This was really emotional and I felt it. Good luck in the contest~ -
Absolutely beautiful. Such emotion in your words. I feel with you on this topic, as many do Im sure. Great work. I love this. Wonderfully written
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Thank you for reading and commenting. It about was a very bleak time in my life. I appreciate your remarks.
Ethereal Melody
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Very moody and nice.I could feel this...its great writers that make us not feel so alone.The ending was very bleak and sad but it was beautiful none the less.Keep up the great writting
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Seems like you are just about the FIRST person who didn't like this poem. LOL Oh well...............
Ethereal Melody -
Seems like you use a lot of cliches and go from present to past tense.
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we all go throught trials of life sounds like you have been there done that,sorry for your pain this is well written best of happiness in the future keep up the good writing
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this is great
such a sad poem
but its true sometimes we let love pass us by
i realy liked the words you wrote for this poem especialy the ending
great job -
Thanks so much for reading and commenting Kari. I am glad you liked this poem.
Ethereal Melody
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WOW!
woahhhhhhhhhh that left me with shivers...it was incredible. Thank u so much for sharing this deep and moving write with us!
Kari -
Thank you for your encouraging words about this poem. I am happy you liked it, and I appreciate your insight into the emotions that it holds.
Ethereal Melody
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Thank you for reading and commenting. I am happy you liked the poem, and I appreciate your insightful thoughts about it.
Ethereal Melody
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Thank you for reading and applauding this poem. I always appreciate it.
Ethereal Melody
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Thank you for reading and commenting on this poem.
Ethereal Melody
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Thank you for reading and commenting on Turning to Dust. I must have overlooked your comment, so I am sending this to you now. I appreciate you encouraging words.
Ethereal Melody
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This was a very raw piece to read; I almost don't feel right to say that I enjoyed reading it. Which isn't to say I didn't like it; I did. I appreciate the honesty in this piece, but also (and especially) the originality. It's clear that you put a lot of thought and effort into expressing the emotion in imagery, rather than simply ranting. I have always been more a fan of poetry that shows rather than tells. And this poem does a wonderful job of painting the picture of what you are experiencing. I was reading 'In Memoriam' by Tennyson the other day, and I was reminded of it just now as I read your poem. He talks about how in the midst of grief we can take comfort in the knowledge that our suffering is not without purpose, and that personal tragedy, while unpleasant, is a part of God's design. Perhaps your sharing this pain has encouraged someone else to seek to express their own pain and frustration. I guess sometimes we just can't know for sure. But thank you for sharing. I'll stop talking now.
JWM -
At the very moment
I finally believed,
the love began to die,
sweet words were no more.
Shock and disbelief shrouded
my heart and soul.
False accusations,
incredible stories
only a poet could tell.
Typing through tears
falling silently
in the dark
and lonely night,
all my dreams had been
turned to dust.
That part of your poem.. Of course it would be the ending. Was just amazing. I could have cried through the whole poem, but that ending got me the worse. You did a great job. I know how you feel sometimes. Good luck with finding a happy place and an unbroken soul.. Hugs.. Dark -
wow!
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Excellant
Ay, a unique and sad write, and yet another door may open. Well written. -
In times of heartache, I am reminded by these words
"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us."
Nothing in this life is without purpose.. " No one appears on our stage unless the Director has placed them there for our benefit"
This piece made my heart hurt..my own memories of heartbreak interlaced within your words..We live, we cry, we hurt, we dry the tears, smile & love on... 'tis as it should be darlin'..Love on! Nothing can change that about me..how 'bout you?
Peace, Love & Light
~Pamela
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Thank you for reading and commenting lyrical-rebel. I have been down lately, but I am rising to the top again.
I appreciate your positive comments.
Ethereal Melody
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wow what a sad poem filled with emotion, i can hear the dissapointment as i read these words, remember my darling, the grass is not always greener, and never give up on your dreams, when u are down, sometimes your dreams are all you have.
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good job!
oh wow.... this is so sad n deep...
the words just enwrap you in a world of emotions...
i hope that this isn't ow u really feel... n if u do then i hope u cheer up real soon...!
Thanks for sharing this wid us all...!
Smoosh!
Sue! -
Thanks so much for taking the time to read this one Jeannie. I am hanging in. I appreciate your positive remarks. Tomorrow will be a better day. At least I hope it will.
Ethereal Melody 
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Hey hun, so sorry for your pain and sadness. Great writing. Hang in there. Try to hold on to hope. The right one is our there. Thanks for sharing. Jeannie D Hunter
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Thank you for reading and commenting on this poem. Your advice is good, and I intend on taking it.
Ethereal Melody
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Darling Sis
I've fallen for you
as we are two
girls lost inside dust
created by lost lust.
I've fallen for your
sweetness smile de jour
your friendship and love
you electronic yellow hugs.
I've fallen for silence
family without any pretense
your basic just humanity
and lack of insanity.
I've fallen down hard
into muck so hard
yet you pull me
up so I see.
So, I know pain
is what we gain
from being human beings
only from outside seen.
I would have left
long ago been bereft
forgotten all this hurt
and the false flirts.
But I have you
and other friends too
who touch my wings
and make me sing.
Smoosh
Janet -
Think we all go through this as we go through life, sometimes many times before we find that soul mate we can love forever. Can't let this stand in our way for happiness. Shake it off and keep searching. Sentiments well expressed in these lines -easy to read and understand.
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Thank you for reading and commenting on this poem. I appreciate your positive comments, and I will hold onto hope. Without hope we may as well cease to exist.
Ethereal Melody
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beautifully written
that is a sad write...fueled by when we give up...though we are all dust eventually...what we should hold onto is what made it magic to begin with and hopefully understand...that lessens the pain...with that there's hope...beautifully written -
The cold reality of a broken heart is truly hard to bare, for the mind keeps wondering "why". Sometimes things just cannot work out and it is beyond us to know why. Your poem expresses deep felt emotions and I hope they heal soon.
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Thank you for reading and commenting Jeannette. I know, I have to get happy. I will, slowly come up and out of this sad stuff.
Thank you for being a good friend.
Ethereal Melody
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Thank you for reading and commenting on this poem. I appreciate your positive remarks.
Ethereal Melody
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Oh Jeannette,
Your emotions are so sad...remember what I told you by IM..
Try to find some joy...the hope and dreams will come back some day..
Take care my friend
xxJeannette
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Well I suppose it's true that foolishness has no age, and that line definately caught my eye. But I think it's also something that keeps us young. Don't give up hope and remember that you'll find someone who doesn't hurt you someday. I promise. Thanks for the write, keep up the good work!
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