In the rays of sunlight,
you were smiling,
The puppy sleeping on your knee
also looked peaceful...
A little book was spread
in the palm of your hand,
And you softly traced the words
with a pretty finger.
I thought that with that smile,
anything could be saved,
Underneath the limited sky, it vanished
The memory of you at that time
Inside of the dream I made, I saw it
That sky was already...
In the transparent wind,
though in vain, I held you close,
Even now I can't let go of you
As you look back at me
Underneath the limited sky,
I repeat softly whispered words
Inside of my closed off heart,
Even now, you're smiling
as you were at that time.
With the voices of children
echoing in the twilight,
Your smile slowly vanishes away.
Author notes
With the voices of children echoing in the twilight,
Your smile slowly vanishes away.
Written August 6th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Wow… good job on this poem. Very emotional as the others said- that’s a good thing too. Not a lot of people can take how they feel and convert it into words in a poem…
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wonderful! hehe always great emotion!
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Wonderful
omg omg omg!!! *hypervenhilates* I have so missed reading your poetry and you...and...stuff and YAY. ^____^ This is a wonderful right and beautifully touching. *tries to hide a couple of tears that she shed earlier* I can't wait to read more!!!
~Jazz~
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Aww... this is such an emotional piece! I love your descriptive writing.... I felt as if was there and saw it all... this is very good and touching..
keep it up!
.lucinda. -
I really enjoyed this poem. Your poem was full of imagery and very well written. I can tell you put a lot into this one, Well done
.
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This is such an emotional poem from start to finish!! I felt my heart warm at the beginning and plumetting and weeping at the end!!
You have really described this title choice really well throughout (I assume it was for a contest?? as you wrote it in authors notes). A nice interpretation of the title!
I think that your words are beautiful! Your rhymes are consistent and with them, your rhythm is effortless!
I can't fault it!!
Sarah Louise Hudson
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