Hidden deep within myself
Such fragile ways of living
Picking at the pieces that remain
Such a tormented past of pain
Deflecting heavens light with these mirrors
Inside, as dark as my blackened heart
A thousand years of silence broke me in two
Spiraling further into your hell
All this hate in your eyes
Once again you cut me open
This life of mine comes crashing down before me
Dragged to the edge and thrown away
Falling further down your path of destruction
You killed me
Killed everything that was inside of me
Left me with nothing
Kissed the rose and walked away
You live another day
Author notes
Written August 5th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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i liked the final stanza the best, felt it was your strongest.
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Ohh my god! I loved the flow and all the EMOTION it's just filled with it and that is the key ingredient to a great write! I really like this it's in my top 5 now!!!!
much love Jess -
hmm I like this part especially
"Kissed the rose and walked away
You live another day"
Really interesting way to end this. -
Wow... this was internally the darkess, self-afflicting piece I've read in a while. It sucks the joy right out of you... which I'm sure was your intention and so, well done.
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wow this is amazingly written i loved it its wow amazing good job keep it up!!
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Excellent and dark
Hey,
wow this is very deep and strong. I can definitely relate. I love how you have wriiten this and it has a great flow to it. I really love this. Your a talented writer.
~love~
*joey* -
Hmm, the following is my personal opinion.
I think that this was very much cliche' to the age old emo poetry that say, "Dark like my blackened heart." I see what you're doing, but find a different metaphor, that is, well, a bit more poetic. I would have worked for me better if it where something like, "Dark; like an eclipsed sun," or "Dark like my shady soul." But in the end, it's poetry. And not all poetry appeals to every person.
A part of thew poem I DID like, however, was,
"Kissed the rose and walked away
You live another day"
I enjoyed that part, because the rose is always symbolizing something, and it lets the reader fill in for his/herself which rose it is, and what it means.
Keep up the writing.
=) -
i really liked this piece this was my favorite part "Kissed the rose and walked away
You live another day" excellent work keep it up
avec amour *~Krymsin Kyss~* -
coming to this poem first thing this morning, I can understand the sad emotions you have written here, Chris. You've expressed this well by a series of metaphors that this poem may be felt in reading by touching on the senses...and I wish so much it were different for you.
if it's any consolation, I'm glad you re-appeared in my AP life!
Jo -
Wow. Dark I love it this is a great write. It would also make a great song as well. Its deep and dark and left me wanting to read more. I know this feeling all to well. I live it everyday.
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odd i fell odd to but to contenu not a bad writ it remnds me of death kep up
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that was deep and emotion. i thought this one rocked.
Dragged to the edge and thrown away
Falling further down your path of destruction
You killed me
Killed everything that was inside of me
Left me with nothing
o know that feeling. and it really sucked.
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Sweet write man, I don't think we have written anything in ages.
Last two lines are mint, you should use those lines in a song. -
Great write. I especially loved the last verse, but the whole thing was awesome. Also:
"Spiraling further into you're hell"
Should be "Spiraling further into your hell"
You're would be you are. Other than that, this was an awesome piece. I definitely enjoyed reading it, and I'm really glad I clicked it. Great write, keep up the good work.
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I feel for this poem. I like it. You did a amazing job. Bravo
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