Fly High,
My Sun
My King
My Friend
You live by me
I live by you
Together we can soar the sky,
Every mountain,
Every day
We are the Sky,
The Sun,
The Moon
My Life,
King Sun.
Author notes
If your'e wondering, King Sun is my swing : P It may seem funny, but he means a lot to me!
Written August 4th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
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The repetition in this poem is very effective, as is the capitlisation of special parts of your poem.
I love how you said:
"Every mountain,
Every day"
This whole poem is unique and personal, and those two lines jumped out at me when I read them. One would usually day 'every minute of every day', but by saying 'mountain', it quickly runs away from the cliché leaving the reader feeling amazed.
I also like the way the last line ties everything back to the title. It's almost as if you're going up and down on a swing, up and down and back again.
DancingRed.
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This is a precious poem. I am glad you explained more in your author's comment-it made it that much more enjoyable. Seeing you are new to the site-I join in welcoming you
vj


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