we came under fire
and when we ducked
for cover
you were at my side
when the smoke cleared
i found you’d disappeared
i asked if anyone had seen you
and a shadowed man
opened a secret door
you stood glowing like sunshine
in a room the size of an elevator
walls paneled with pale wood
your face turned away from me
as i reached for you
you slipped behind another
hidden panel
i opened it quickly to a room
just like the one before
you stood there
in monochromatic shades of beige
your hair short
bleached yellow blonde
you turned to face me
with desperate steel blue eyes
every other feature unrecognizable
i let you go
Author notes
Written August 4th, 2006. I always dream about those I've lost.
This dream was about my little brother who was murdered Jan, 4th 1994.
In a list
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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beautiful.. I also dream about the lost ones
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Very strong writing Red. It is a bit confusing for those who aren't familiar with the motive, or the event, or the subject - but it is all resolved for me with "I let you go". That line seemed to tie it all up in a neat, emotional package.
Fine work.
Sag
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Even though you told me about it, the poem stands on its own. It's in the eyes. Indeed.
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It's freaky
It was almost spooky how similar are dreams were.
Sometimes I think I have a poem for every subject lol
well now this one is published in print so it will live
on for a long time. I really missed my little brother
today.
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There are so many feelings in this poem, your dream. At first there is danger then a feeling of security which quickly turns to abandonment. Secrecy as this man turns away from you then denys you as he hides again. There is change and relief as you finally let him go.
Edited on Aug 30, 8:41 because ''. -
i like how it has many possible meanings. very interesting. the title is perfect enough..lol. all in all, good job with writing this. enjoyed the read.
blu -
redZ this one confuses me as well.. it's a real dream I had. I suspect it might mean death, though I really hope not. Sometimes my dreams are prophetic.. in this case I hope not.
Red -
Timothy that speaks volumes when an ex-mother-in- law says that about your heart. I believe her.. thank you for your awesome comment
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Thank you honey.. you know I love you too. I rarely remember my dreams, when I do they have to be powerful, I just hope they aren't prophetic.... sometimes they are.
Red -
it seems eerie how you captured my dreams, the many dreams of one of the few women i ever would admit that i loved (and i don't admit to anyone very often that i can actually feel love).... this speaks for itself, and needs no other words hun ..... brilliant
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this is so very much like a dream...my own dreams have all but disapeared with the passage of years but I've found several sites that detail the dreams of pthers and would recommend them to anyone whose looking for inspiration
nice one Red -
This is a topic that is very near and dear to me. To me this could be interpreted several different ways. One as an unrequited love or as a love lost. Or two as a love that never materialized. Either way it is sad but makes for some interestion conjecture by this reader.
Sincerely,
Leo Long -
"i let you go"
i have no idea why those words are banging around my head so powerfully, but thanks for starting the bang. -
You are such a prolific writer Stormy. I always enjoy reading your work. This one confuses me more than most. I suppose it could be about death, but I think it is more likely about a relationship. A relationship that you were in with someone you came to realize you didn't know. As always, great work.
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I just visited my mother in law (sort of since I'm now divorced)in the cancer place...she had two strokes. I had several higher coincidences occur about going to see her today, so I did. Turns out this is the first time since her strokes that she has spoken. She wanted to see everybody, including me, and wants to be pumped full of morophine after today. I told her of the higher coincidences in detail, because she asked. She said she knows she's going. She wanted a kiss so I gave her one. She told me to never let anyone tell me I'm not full of love, because she coiuld see it everywhere around me. I'm pretty sure this is the last.
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I will have to think long about this one,
An interesting tale, crystal clear in its telling.
John
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