Come Into The Garden
The fragrance of the summer rain, falls softly,
Beading on your lips, like dew on the meadow.
Our eyes gazing through the raindrops, as they fall.
Love stirs within, as nature washes the seeds.
Bountiful, nature's cup has runneth over.
Flows gently, amidst the desire we share.
Trickling off our brows, we embrace the moment.
Excited, you kiss the droplets upon my lips.
You sigh at the breathtaking beauty in bloom,
Seeking such pleasure as the petals open.
It responds, opens wide, to quench its thirst.
As the flower yearns to soak in the moisture.
The wetness makes me quiver, you pull me close,
I surrender, to the shelter of your arms.
The rain penetrates the awaiting garden wall.
Flowing within, the flower thirsts no more.
Author notes
Written August 3rd, 2006
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Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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WONDERFUL COMMENT THANK YOU!!!!!
Thank you for leaving a lovely comment. IO am glad you liked it. Great contest you have. Take care, Sandy
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This is a beautiful poem. The imagery is really tranquil and I loved reading it. The imagery is so nice and makes me really appreciate the poem. It flows quite nicely and is really enjoyable to read.
Thanks for entering the contest, and good luck.
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I Love It!!!
this is so beautiful and peaceful,
I loved reading your poem it made me feel like I
Good luck in the contest: Sue
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Beautiful indeed.
I really enjoyed this and you for sure have written a beautiful piece on the rain. I am looking forward to a rainstorm here as it has been so hot. -
Beautiful... so sensual and flowing - like the rain. Yes, we had a thunderstorm here today and though I was caught driving in it - I love it. It just makes me feel melancholy (in a good way) and thoughtful, lost in my imagination or memories.
I also love the fresh smell of the earth after the rain.
"Bountiful, nature's cup has runneth over."
I love the "runneth" here.
Now, in this line, I do not exactly agree with the usage of the word "excited."
"Excited, you kiss the droplets upon my lips."
It adds a certain nervousness to the otherwise flowing and calm atmosphere of nature. Perhaps something like "enthralled" or "enraptured" would sound better? "excited" just seems a little too plain compared to the rest of the sensual lines. Just a suggestion...
Again, this is a wonderful read! Thank you.
Melanie
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This is a lovely poem . Such a magnificint choice of words . By the way your writting tchnique is fantasic . Keep up the exellent work!!!!!
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you did such a wonderful job on this one you combined the two subjects beautifully and you use of meya phors where absolutely amaxing once again I an extremely impressed, thanks so much for sharing....peace
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excellent
Lovely write Sandy, You are such a talent and use class in your choice of words. This piece is beautiful as it say so much in a delicate classy way. You are an inspiration. Excellent write. Thanks again and best of Luck in the contest. -
TRULY BEAUTIFUL AND TOUCHING
This is so touching! So very sweet and loving!
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This is sooo very beautifully and tastefully written, my sweet friend! Thank you so much for sharing yet another part of your wonderfully sweet soul! I enjoyed this one so much!
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Wow Sis...I think I need a cool shower after reading this. I love the metaphors.
Seeking such pleasure as the petals open
It responds, opens wide,to quench its thirst.
The rain penetrates the awaiting garden wall.
Flowing within the flower thirsts no more
Talk about coming in the garden.
Pardon my metaphor! You are really good...whether it be religious or erotic...you sure do have a way with words. Looks like another trophy for you.
~ Linny
Edited on Aug 03, 3:52 p.m. because ''.
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