Please me
persuade me to make me think that you agree
I want to feel you close to me
i want to feel tingle inside of me
as you tease me
with a dance
with a smile as I watch you
from afar
down the hall
you remind me of a star
shining brightly with every glance in my direction
oh that feeling when i arouse your attention
crave your affection
i want to feel your apprehension
i want to know you understand
my final command
before i die
I want lust
i want to feel your body
against mine
your skin so fragile, so divine
i want you to trust me
If i could I'd make a shrine
all i ask is for a moment of your time
i want your touch
I want Lust
tease me
please me
persuade me
to be free
of your spell
i wanna hear you yell
i want to feel your knife in my back
to remind me of what i lack
please hear me
my beauty
i want lust
i want to feel your heat against mine
oh my god this has got to be a crime
to love you so
to want your body
i want you to free me
to feel the heat of your affection
but, yet i drown in imperfection
as i think of you
and you lead me into the mirror to see my own pale complexion
in need
of you
I'm left with me and my greed
without even trust
of my self
i need you
i need to feel your lust
Author notes
Okay I know this is a little grown and a little less dark but I wanted to try my hand at it. Comment if you want you can criticize or whatever. Well, after you read this you'll know I'm a guy lol. And if you didn't get it its about a teen who craves for this drop-dead gorgeous girl attention and affection. Enjoy.
Written August 2nd, 2006
What did you think
Comments
-
got offhand with a couple of the phrases but other than that it was really quite good...very sensual. lol i could almost feel the heat of it as i read the entire thing...very awesome and i agree with sabi about the art where he would let her me creul to him only to be with her like once ...again great job exspecially if it was your first time doing it...
-
BAH HA HA HA HA!!! I LOVED IT!!! It still has a bit of darkness to it, and you express the emotions VERY well. I can literally find myself in the place of the boy. I have to say, it's cool if you really feel this way, but if you haven't even experienced these feelings then that's even cooler because you pull it off very well. YOu were rigth about it being new for you, but you've done a wonderful job. Only thing tha ever bothers me is mechanics, but the overall piece is great. It seemed kinda sad to me though too, because it's like, he'd let her be cruel to him, as long as he gets to be WITH her...
~~sabi~~ -
Niiice
Whoa...Dark...[fans self] This was...interesting. But the rhyme scheme and the whole storyline was...fantastic. Nice write. i really thought you hit this teen's affection percectly, it's like you could completly know and...kind of understand him like you are him and I thought that was pretty cool. Wait... do you feel like this for a girl? It seems like it. You never seize to surprise me.=^;^=.
~Mel*
Adding your comment:
3 old applause
