Our Father
The Lord above me, but I don't call you daddy,
Who art in heaven
But where is that, you never explained it to me,
Hallowed be thy name
But you have so many, God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, Jehovah,
Thy kingdom come
But where will it fit, Earth is too small
Thy will be done
But it is so complicated, turning the other cheek shows weakness
On earth
What here? With all this war and destruction
As it is in heaven
Why is there peace in heaven and not here when you rule both
Give us this day
And do what with it? Waste by hurting others
Our daily bread
But we don't respect what we have
And forgive us our trespasses
But I have so many I fear I will never be good enough
As we forgive those who trespass against us
Not too good at that either
And lead us not into temptation
But giving in is easier
And deliver us from evil
But I don't deserve to be saved
Amen
But I'm not done
My faith is stronger
Than any prayer I've been told
That I've learnt and recited
Since I was three years old
But I hold strong in the knowledge
That you're real within me
And I'll continue to be
The best me I can be
For I have faith in you
Author notes
This is for a contest. what would you class this as, a poem or an essay. I am glad this contest came up because it has helped me to answer some of the questions i have been avoiding. hope you like
Written August 2nd, 2006
- World Religions Atheist and Agnostic D group list • next in list
A contest entry
- What do you believe in? by BeyondTheSurface.
700 points, ended January 8, 2007, 61 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prove it! by Elvenfairy.
300 points, ended April 12, 2007, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Living for God! Group only contest by Foxydaze14.
970 points, ended July 9, 2007, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
-
The way to answers is to ask questions. One of our debate group members said that his way to faith is in skepticism and I understand that. Whether we come at God from a point of believing blindly or questioning every little thing as you are as long as we are coming at him we'll arrive.
As someone said I like the question and prayer format, it's very effective!
Peace Georgia
-
Wow. Left me speechless
Breathtaking!
-
Those are some powerful questions. I like this format of interspersing the prayer with the thoughts and questions about what it really means. I hope that you are finding your answers to those questions.
-
Very thoughtful... you are really thinking true and deep
I will book mark this one.
-
A personal prayer within an instructional prayer creative and well done. The thoughts of getting closer to God are what drive our hearts towards his love. A pleasure to read. Thank you.
-
Love the line by line response to the Lord's Prayer here.. and how you have internalized it as a quest for understanding of yourself. This is particularly symmetrical since all prayer, even the boilerplate, is the symbol of souls searching.
Thank you for your entry.
~Das -
Interesting write. Congrats on the bronze trophy!
-
Excellent piece, well written and seems very well thoguht out. I really liek this because it is just very lovely. Good luck in the contest
-
I feel it human nature to question our beliefs. Looking upon them and reflecting gives room for self growth. Searching in our soul. Shows us where we have been. Many may do this,will not admit it. I like how you combine the prayer you learned with the reflections. That prayer is about faith and grace. Our best can not save us. We have done nothing to earn. Faith is believing in what we can not see. God is like the wind. We do not see the wind, we feel the wind. I truly like the reflective style in this write.
-
i respect this piece. you make the point that although it isnt in your favor to go through rituals and rediculous tasks you believe that your faith is just as strong as those who do.
i feel similar .
-
I love this, it's such a creative way to articulate the intellectual struggles which define a Christian life at this time. In terms of flow, it could maybe be smoother, but at the same time some of the awkward lines just add to the feeling of disjointed mental processes going on, which eventually connect in the more articulate second stanza. I'd maybe lose the idea about being 'three years old', the rhyme here seems obtrusive, and the reference to a Christian upbringing may turn an atheist off your overall message, which would be a pity. It all depends on whether this is meant to be more a personal or an intellectual message I suppose
God bless
-
lol where to start? ok, heaven isn't neccessarily a place, so to ask where it is, that is errelevent. Also, if it is a place, who ever said you could pinpoint it on a map? It doesen't amtter what name you use for God, you are just supposed to respect the name, whatever it be, whatever you call it. Thats what hallowed be thy name means. Often things taht God wills are not the social norm. For example, unless you go to a christian college there will be very few virgins, yet we arn't supposed to have sex till after marrage right? It's adultery otehrwise. So if you are gona worry about being seen as weak for turning the other cheek, and he isn't saying that you should let people beat you up, he is saying defend yourself, but don't fight back. There is peace in heaven because all the evil people don't go to heaven. Here on earth there is free will, but in heaven there won't be people abusing their free will, ebcause they don't want to be thrown out of heaven. it is up to us what we do with our day, God told us what he recomends, and it's up to us if we follow it. As for our daily bread, I think by now God is use to us not being very appreciative of it. Being good enough for God. God gave us the ability to sin, so how can he condem us if we can't always avoid temptation? Just be the best you can be, don't beat yourself up if you goof up, and I think God will be willing to forgive. It is those who don't care that they have sinned, those who arn't in the least bit sorry who will never be good enough for God. Don't be self degrating. Anyways, thats my answer to what you have said in this poem. Thanks for enetring my contest!
-
yes,i like how you question everything butt by the end everything makes sense, at least your poem makes sense. lol. oh and thnaks for commenting on my poem
xoxox -
Good Questions!
Yeah, faith isn't easy allotta the time. I liked the honesty of this poem, and most prayer-poems show that certain transparency others don't. Very heart warming. I hope the Lord answers some of your questions!
~SI +==}=========*
-
Nice. I love this piece. The questions and concerns you present are ones that everyone has. I am glad to see that you are not blind in what you believe. You believe it because it's what you believe and not what was handed to you. Nice job and good luck in my contest.
-
Well done - enjoyed where it was going.
-
I love how you intermingled truth with questions of truth...how often do we question what is already before our eyes...this was about as cleverly written as one could get...I just love it...you kept the message loud and clear ...AMEN!
-
Thank you so much.
-
Many a time, I looked up and wondered about heaven, why we can't see God and much more. In a human's mind I don't think we are able to comprehend the bounty of his glory, nor fathom the exquisiteness of heaven. I applaud you and God bless.
-
o my goodness that is fabuless i love it
REALLY GREAT!!!! i hope you win
-
Good points
"I saw the light...I saw the light...no more sadness...no more strife... PRAISE THE LORD I saw the light." I love your border as reminds me of a couple of my favorite songs. Matthew 6: 9-15 "Lord's Prayer" means more to me as I grow older. True that often God is the first to forgive us and we are the last to forgive ourselves and/or others and vice versa as per others.... -
once again, well done, very clever n true
-
i love how u incorporated the prayer into your poem very well done!! i love it. you did a very good job on this poem.. good luck in the contest
Katie -
i love how you have this put together!!! great poem!!!! i loved it!!! i have to agree with SadEyes, great job sweetie!!
♥
B -
I love the way you intermingled the prayer with true questions of our current existence yet though we know not all the answers and are undeserving of His gifts ended with a beautiful poem filled with faith and adoration a simple beautifully done piece. you are very talented and in a unique way got your point across very well, thank you so much for sharing....peace
-
this is vary good. but i have to ask. why does god care so much to give all these other ppl money and a good life when all i ask is for help to live. god has never been there for me.so do i believe in him when he does not believe in me???
you tell me.
This was good
Love Diamond -
awesome.
An oustanding poem. Shows your faith in God. Its an uplifting poem to read. It is nice how it continualy flows. I also like how you used "Our Father Who art in heaven..." that is very creative. God is always with us no matter what. Its nice to see so many others who believe in God as well. Good luck in the contest and hope you do well. -
Good Luck!
Faith is a good thing to have....when you have it.
Kari -
Good background. Fits well.
-
Well, your faith is not a blind faith. I have always considered blind faith unwise. You question, that is wise. By questioning you grow. I believe God is all present. In me and in all things. Most faiths seem to agree to some degree about this, but fail to practice it. I like your poem. If you add a background, I'll come back and have a look provided you let me know.
Adding your comment:
1 - 30 of 30
