Shaking knees reflect the cry in my heart.
All about me appears in perfection.
Yet, within, deep within the hidden room,
a crying can be heard, if one listens.
Reflections of the past appear shadowed.
Visions of the future are lit dimly.
Today seems a task unwanted to me,
and numbness is all that I can feel now.
Struggling to feel what I think I should,
I retreat further into my hard shell.
I am becoming the calcium's food.
Needing softness, I find only hardness.
What lurks behind these feelings, I know not.
I only know that I'm being buried.
Buried by my own self with no escape.
There must be a way out of the casket.
If the grave keeper would only appear,
I could be led out of the darkest night.
Author notes
i really am ok. just typing some old stuff. viyanna
Written August 2nd, 2006
i chose the depression option
A contest entry
- Quickie ~ Pick Your poison ~ Taking Pre-writes by blondone.
425 points, ended September 1, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
Humz, It's sure, it deserves Gold.
such a cute and darker piece
you went through your feelings really nice
I really appreciate
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
-
This is darkly beautiful!!
Congrats on the well deserved
Gold!
Thank you for sharing
~Pastel
-
Oft times we make these deep digs and then cannot find our way out. Just knowing that we can change things is a step in the right direction. Help is there if we ask for it, but we need to take that initial stp in recognizing that we can improve our situation if we desire to. All is not lost, but takes work to make it better. Sentiments well expressed in these lines -
-
Brilliant
You've dressed simple word with beautifully painful emotions with the crown of feelings that send sparking rays blinding eyes with floating pearls of tears admiring the pain behind well dressed words. this is sure had to be a winner all the way. Thanks hun for sharing your past, the operative word being the past. I'm glad you are really ok now... take care Minoo.
-
Darkness Gold
Wow Excellent write and I see you got a gold on this piece. Sounds like you need trauma therapy like me if it about you at all. But it says you are ok so forget what I just wrote. I myself am in trauma therapy for just what you expressed in your poem. Oh how I have struggled! The title perfect than the first line Shaking knees reflect the cry in my heart than the last line I could be led out of the darkest night. Brilliant poet and emotions well penned. I admire you and your gift to write such advanced poetry. I can defenitly learn from a poet such as yourself. Thank you for sharing your gift with me. Kelle Marie, stavykm
-
Wow - very dark with the feeling of upcoming dread and despair. You write with such emotion that one can not help but feel it. Good or bad. ~ thank you for sharing. Mikeeee
-
Such a very deep and expressive piece of sadness. Wonderfully penned!
-
Very impressionable write, sad, emotional and the imagery is great. Well written as it flows nicely and keeps the readers attention. Good luck in the contest
Have a lovely evening, Ken IBT 
-
Great emotions written here love the flow of the words and the imagery is great and yes I've been here in this same depression thanks for entering and good luck to you...
-
very well written
Very well written expression of some sad and deeply embedded emotions. It is so difficult to come out into the light and take a chance.
Great write!
Ethereal Melody
-
A VERY BEAUTIFUL POEM
I have had these same exact thoughts so many times myself. We do come back though, time has a wonderful way of helping us to do that.
-
An excellent poem, writtem with great depth and emotion!
Kiran -
Viyanna, it is so good to have you back! Missed your writings so much. This is an excellent piece of despair and sadness. Well done!
-
This is an excellent poem of style and emotion, you express yourself so well in this and this message is one I am sure others can identify with. Thank you for sharing. Blessings.
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
