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Clarity

 

 

I stand alone
I find no comfort here
A cold sweat covers me
As I shiver within...
What is it I fear?
Is it the angels of light?
The demons of this life?
Or myself?

I remain silent
Lost in my own thoughts
*Darkness envelopes me*
I scream in my insecurities
They're getting the better of me
Again
Around me, choking me they grab hold
I swear, I'm on the verge of insanity

I just want to find something true
Something I can trust
In this world so full of deceit

~A moment of Clarity~

Author notes

Option 2: Word Bank

Hey... read your contest.. got my *cough* "muse" working so yeah.. this is what i came up with.
thank you for reading it

NSH

Picture Credits: Narcoleptic by Rache Engel
Written August 1st, 2006

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • NotAMolly
    June 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very comprehensive look at what I remember going through as a teen. It is both a universal feeling and a personal struggle. I think you may be goin' places!


  • Janice M Pickett
    May 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Lots of talent ready to burst forth

    If you keep going with your poetry and keep it building in standard, you will be very successful at it. I see an amazing amount of talent in you.WELL DONE. I am most impressed.
    Hugs
    Jan

  • Janice M Pickett
    May 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    A beautiful poem

    Hi there this is great. May I just give some constructive advice though. I would not capitalize each line. Only use a capital when starting a new sentence. If you change that structure, then I would consider this excellent.
    A most enjoyable read.
    Hugs
    Jan


  • Lady-Pegasus
    May 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    such deep dark thoughts put so eloquently. This feels almsot like a lament more than a poem and that is wonderful! THe pain surely drips from the page into a puddle of sorrowed tears! Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e


  • grannyeri gold member
    May 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Just wondering if you have read my Troubled Teen poem, about teen problems from the other side? Would be interested to hear your comment on that one if you would please, unless you already have read it. Thought is was good, and a fitting one for the book. Gives us an insight into how teens feel.


  • catz Moderators member
    May 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a clear but not simplistic look at what teens often have to deal with. You did an excellent job relating your emotions, your fears, your feelings and your hope.

    Very good

    Dee


  • Methusala
    April 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was good. I got this thru a link from the Allpoetry book projects. I wasn't too certain about it going in, but I think it is actually pretty good, and decent enough to be included in the book.

    ~DKR


  • neon nightmares
    April 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    OMFG....

    I can really relate to this piece a lot due to certain experiences in my life. This is the perfect portrayal of how many of us feel at one point in our teen years.
    Well done and thank you foir writing this amazing heartfelt and true sad piece. I love it. and I think I love you.(not in a scary way)
    luvvs
    xxxxxxx


  • individuality gold member
    November 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    a sad piece, thank you for sharing your poetic piece with us, it was an enjoyable read. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...


  • Wild Mustang
    November 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    There were a few lines that I think could've been more smoothly put, but I love most of it. The last line was the perfect ending. Perhaps the title should be a bit more interesting though? It doesn't seem as tempting to click on as one might hope . And most people decide wether or not to read it based on wether or not the title is intriguing.

    Anyway, good job! Keep up the great work!

    ~ Aly


  • paullallady silver member
    October 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    good

    this is great. I really liked this. the thoughts you
    portray are ones so many of us have. who do we fear?
    usually it is ourselves. good job with this.


  • Tear-Stained-Heart
    August 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    another great and wonderful write from you.
    XX Tear XX


  • SecretSafe
    August 4, 2006
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    Thank you for your encouraging comments, panther32.


  • Errant Panther gold member
    August 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent use of the word bank to express the deep soul searching thought that ultimately leads to the moment of clarity. Celeverly penned and best wishes for the contest, I am pleased I was able to re-inspire your muse.


  • shadow-lily
    August 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    good

    i relate a lot to this, thanks SO much for sharing it was such a great write, even if it was short!

1 - 15 of 15