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Bed Of Roses

Missing image




I want to lay you down in a bed of roses
To make you feel the love I have within
Tonight I want you more than ever
I want the power of our love to begin
I’ll pick you up and carry you high
Into another world in the starlit sky
I want to see your eyes
As I send your emotions into bliss
Show you a world of eternal happiness
While you are lost in the sensations
Of my warm and tender kiss
In this world that we are in
The roses follow our lead
Surrounding us with their scents
As I fulfill your every need  
Your hands begin to roam around me
As our hearts beat as one
Our bodies begin to sweat heavily
Underneath the warmth of the rising sun
I pick up a rose and tease you with its petals
Kiss you all over your body until
My lips are as dry as metal

As our love heats up the room
We look into each other’s eyes
In our hearts we know it
There is no disguise
Every second that passes us by
We fall more and more in love
And with every single touch
We know just what we are thinking of
I want to lay you down in a bed of roses
I want to see the world through your eyes
I want to know your every thought
I want you to be very honest with me
As I am with you tonight
I have never felt this way about anyone before
I never thought that these feelings could ever exist
But, now I know because I have found you my love
You have shown me the meaning of true happiness
As our sensations increase you painfully cry out my name
In turn I cry out yours too
As our bodies wind down together we remain
My hand on your heart and your hand on mine
We are bound by our love until the end of time

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Written July 31st, 2006

In a list

A contest entry

Friends, I appreciate your comments and review on this write. However, please do not add my name to your comments due to the contest rules. Thank you very much!

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 66 of 66

  • sonia 77
    November 20
    Edit | Reply
    Big WoW !!

  • Hoodwink WOW!

    You have written a powerfully tender and beautiful poem, good poet.

  • Very passionate!! I love the content! The rhyme was a bit merky though.

    Meter -9/10 The flow was a bit rough
    Rhyme -7/10 A bit uneasy to follow in spots...
    Imagery - 10/10 PERFECT imagery!
    Content - 10/10 AMAZING!
    Title Pertinence - 10/10

    Overall 46/50
    Bonus for applauds: 3
    New total - 49/50
    Thanks for your entry
    Raymond

  • This Poem is so eloquent so beautiful I love the way you express your words. The picture makes everything complete Hugs Angel


  • Emmyb gold member
    March 15
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful poetry. descriptive and magical. and great imagery. thanks for entering xx

  • Very steamy and expressive here. I would love this, wish my boy did this on Valentines day, it would make my day. Mmmm sounds hot!


  • WantedxXxMe
    March 1

    Edit | Reply
    Very Very good write great imagery, really brought to mind my girlfriend and I... thanks for shareing this Bud


  • XXStOlEn-HaLoXx
    December 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is by far my favorite piece yet! this is exquisite work, jeremy! wonderful!


  • Angels Whispers gold member
    November 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    beautiful


    Hello dear brother,well sweet heart, you have penned here a most awesome write.It is filled with so much emotion and visuals.
    Your words are soft ,tender and so very loving. As always, you have been a real pleasure to read, and this poem is so beautiful Jeremy.Congrats on all those trophies,a write that's well deserving of them.
    Much love and happiness to you always,
    your AP Angel Sister,
    ~Angel-anne~


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    October 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is a very beautifully written poem. words written from the very depths of your heart. this touched my heart, your words are powerful & strong. You have a wonderful talent and it shows with each & every poem that you write.

    Congratulations on the Silver & Gold Trophies.

    kat


  • hotchocolate gold member
    October 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Another good one from you, I don't know how I missed this one This was nice sensual write!

    The roses follow our lead
    Surrounding us with their scents
    As I fulfill your every need
    Your hands begin to roam around me


  • libithina
    October 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a wonderfully evocative poem the perfume escaped from the page

  • Bob Fox
    October 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Love

    The longing and the need and that bed of Roses to glorify the tender moment. Where though can one find such a place?


  • Ho74pp1eP1e
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful. This is very heart felt, warm and tender. Good luck, I smell the lingering scent of roses in the air.


  • Blooming Poet
    July 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    First of all I would like to apoligize for not commenting on this poem sooner. It was a wonderful poem for my contest and know the choice was hard, if I had more points you would have got an HM..


  • Brooklynn Tainted gold member
    April 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is a beautifull oeice. good luck in the contest.


  • Loveandblessings2u gold member
    March 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WoW my friend, this is so beautiful.
    Plus I love that song " A bed of roses ".
    This is one of my favorite poems by you.
    My kind of poetry.
    I loved it.
    Good luck in the contest.

    Loveandblessings2u & yours always
    Joyce


  • Polaja Greeters member
    March 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a beautifully written poem... I can see why it won gold, a very well deserved trophy I loved the ending, the way the poem climaxed and then ended with a sigh of love... wonderful

    Keep writing

    Polly


  • maralisa silver member
    March 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is a beautiful poem my hand on your heart and your hand on mine we are bound by our love until the end of time fantastist well done on the well deserved gold good luck in the contest


  • onesugar gold member
    January 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful erotic write

    Love the last line very romantic

    Good luck ~sugar~


  • Buried in Black
    January 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Really good shit right here. Very nice job


  • Angel Wings1960
    January 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Full of romance and lust. Puts me in the mood for love.


  • ennovy silver member
    January 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent Writing

    This a classic erotic piece the just rocks the flow of this read. The balance is perfect. The beginging and end is awesome. Thanks for entering....novy


    • Jeremy0826 silver member
      February 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for the Gold in your
      contest! I appreciate it and am glad
      that you enjoyed it!



      Jeremy0826


  • parntsoftwins
    November 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Well written, but a bit sensual for the contest. Thank you for entering.


  • jcat gold member
    October 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    we are bound by our love until the end of time..*sigh* how romantic a notion!! Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.


  • crystallynnbradford
    September 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very nice...really liking it. it was a joy t oread and t osee where your creativity brought you.


  • NickelleteXninja
    June 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow well done

    It was a beautiful thing to use roses... it added so much to the poem
    I loved it. Unlike a few of my pre-finalists you used sex in a very descreaste way yet still managing to capture every desire emotion
    and imagery that the more in depths poems had shown me1

    thanks so much for entering


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    August 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you so much! I am so glad that you liked it.
    I appreciate your comments on this write!


    Jeremy


  • juanita032001
    August 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    i want to lay you down in a bed of roses, how wonderfully romantic!! , beautifully written dear friend, absolutely gob smacking beautiful, the imagery was fantastic......i loved this....good luck in the contest!!, i think it is a winner!! and i hope the judge agrees.........hugs...Coralie..

  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    August 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hello Cin! Thank you so much for your comments and review on this write. I appreciate it! I am glad that you enjoyed it!
    Take care and have a great week.


    Jeremy


  • CinSoBella
    August 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    And Cin says..."THIS IS GOING ON MY FAVES!!!!"

    Very nice, I loved it, keep it up.

    <333 Cin, hit me up some time.

  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    August 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hello again Lilac! Thank you so much for your comments and review on this write. I am glad that you liked it and appreciate you holding this contest. Thank you again!


    Jeremy


  • -LilacThOughts- gold member
    August 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    She need not worry of anything else because you put her above everything and everyone, like she is the most beautiful creature on earth, deserving to be place on the pedestal you have created for her...magical dreams and sensual streams....such a tantalising and romantic write

    ~Lilac~


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    August 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks a lot, I appreciate your comments and applause on this write. Have a great one my friend!


    Jeremy


  • DarkHunter
    August 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is an awesome piece you have penned here. Great song title and a great song. The poem does the title justice. Good luck in the contest.


  • Kiran silver member
    August 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    A very tender, loving and extremely romantic write! I loved reading this! It's wonderful when love like this is experienced. Well done!
    Kiran


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    August 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you so much my friend, I appreciate it!

    Jeremy


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    August 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your comments and for taking the time to read this. I appreciate it!


    Jeremy


  • BrokenFiend
    August 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I liked the first stanza better than the second for some strange and rather unknown reasons. I like the way it flowed, and your vocabulary fits the song that you based it on. I liked the ide aof lips as dry as metal, it gave me some pretty cool images to play with in my head. I have a feeling you will do very well for this contest.


  • blondone
    August 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    WoW !!! a beautiful write comes from the heart the words flow with ease and the love your poured out is just beautiful....

  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    August 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hello SGKing123! I am glad that you enjoyed reading this poem of mine. I really can't explain where my inspiration and ideas come from. I have been writing for over twenty one years now and it just seems to flow. I have not read any of your work yet, but I promise you that I will. Thank you so much for your comments and for taking the time to read this! Take care and have a great week ahead! I hope to hear from you again very soon!


    Jeremy-Allen0826


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    August 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hello Darken Shadow! Thank you for your comments on this one.
    I appreciate it!


    Jeremy

  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    August 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hello Fly! Thanks a lot for reading and commenting on this write. I am pleased that you liked it. I appreciate it!
    Take care and have a wonderful week ahead!

    Jeremy

  • darkenshadow
    August 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful poem. I know what you are feeling. Its so deep with feelings. So passionate. I enjoy reading your peom. Keep it up and God Bless!


  • fly
    August 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Great

    Oh, the joys of love. Isn't it just the best feeling ever. You have done a wonderful job of describing your happiness and the joy you feel. Good use of metaphor and very nice flow. I had to read it twice to get it right. All in all an excellent write. Keep up the great writing!! Write On!! Fly


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    August 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hello Earthstar! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on this. I appreciate it!

    Jeremy


  • earthstar
    August 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Very Good.

    very well wrote and very nice comments on your write i truly do not know what to add i enjoyed reading your poem about love it is very good thanks so much for sharing have a great day


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    August 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, I am glad that you liked this one!


    Jeremy

  • Timeless Wisdom silver member
    August 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent! And a wonderful Idea for a contest... I am looking forward to seeing more of your works Thank you sooo much for posting this... I will look into it
    Edited on Aug 01, 1:27 because ''.


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    August 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks Vicky, I appreciate it!
    I love you too!

    Jeremy


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    July 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Fantastic, Beautiful, full of Passion

    OIh my goodnes.... I am speechless, breathless, all rolled in one. You absolutely took my breath away. This was lovely, passionate, heartfelt... never would of imagined this from you but hell diggity hun i loved it great job and as always a gift to read. Love ya
    Victoria


  • Katie Lazette
    July 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Bravo

    Another beautiful write Jeremy. The beauty within your heart just flows from the pen. "While you are lost in the sensations of my warm and tender kiss" this is tender love. As I said before these poems belong in the class of the sonnets. Keep on writing.

  • nostalgicdreamer416
    July 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this is really sweet!!....it's a love story in a poem--a love poem....i really like it....i love the lines: "i want to lay you down in a bed of roses/i want to see the world through your eyes...."--great job!!....best of luck in the contest!! :]


  • Angel Lunarious gold member
    July 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Way to go!!!!

    So...Beautiful! Lost... words! 'sniff'


  • AgeofAquarius
    July 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    A weSUM

    Beautifully written interpretation of bed of roses...

    Flow and form is nice and message of love and romance is as timeless as dirt...

    WRITE ONN!!


  • July 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    wow. so beautiful. finally, a sincere love poem, no where being cheesy anyway, it was moving and passionate. you can see the love growing between the lovers. great job and good luck!!


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    July 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you so much Shaina!
    I appreciate it.

    Jeremy

  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    July 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    That is so awesome to hear! Congratulations on your 35 years together, I wish you many more. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on this. I appreciate it!


    Jeremy


  • BeautifulBirdie
    July 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This was a beautiful write. I absolutely adored it. You did a great job on this one. The flow and rhyme were amazing. I wiah you the best of luck in that contest. You deserve to win.


  • storiesuntold gold member
    July 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I FELT THIS WAY THE FIRST DAY I MET MY HUSBAND I feel that way now and we have been married 35 years . He still gives me cold chills when he kisses me on my neck .


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    July 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, I appreciate it!


    Jeremy


  • gullionmar
    July 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    very awsome jerremy great job of expressing your love


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    July 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks Trina! It's great to hear from you again my dear.
    I appreciate your comments on this write!


    Jeremy

  • FindingFate
    July 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh WOW!!! This is one of your best for sure. It sings of beauty and sensuality in every line. Jeremy you are such a romantic heart and soul. I love this. I wish you best of luck in the contest...Trina


  • channelangel
    July 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful poem, as is the song that you chose. Big Bon Jovi fan here!

    Good luck in the contest you have entered.

1 - 66 of 66