Come, lend your rolling cover; shade this dry cracked ground,
conceal the tragedy of broken years,
and dim the raging colors that siege a weary mind;
ease the pressure from the pressing blue,
dull the stainless cobalt's razor hues
which vivisect perception like a blade.
Subdue the cubist concrete, the painted slats of wood,
the swaying glass and steel that mock the day;
come lend your rolling cover; shade this dry cracked ground
with a half-light suited best for ravaged hopes
and gray the glaring cruelty of the sun;
dull the stainless cobalt's razor hues.
Gather up your mass and spill your shadows down
across the crawl of long distempered hours
and dim the raging colors that siege a weary mind,
dissevered from the rush of tragic signs;
raise from out the waves your phasing layers
and gray the glaring cruelty of the sun.
Immerse this arid air in contemplative mood
until the asphalt mirrors every minute;
come lend your rolling cover; shade this dry cracked ground
where seeds have rarely sprouted into life;
grant a brief reprieve from endless drought;
raise from out the waves your phasing layers.
Fill the world with stillness; play that quiet sound
which puddles every lane with rippled moments
and dim the raging colors that siege a weary mind,
electric bright beneath cerulean drapes,
the overwhelming crush of open skies;
grant a brief reprieve from endless drought.
Break this barren view with drifts of coiled wind,
and let your blistered vapors calm each instant;
come lend your rolling cover; shade this dry cracked ground
and dim the raging colors that siege a weary mind,
trapped within a frozen summer-scape;
ease the pressure from the pressing blue,
the overwhelming crush of open skies
which vivisect perception like a blade.
Author notes
to learn more about the hybridanelle: allpoetry.com/Column/1086828/all=1
Written July 20th, 2006
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Beautiful dramatic piece, it has somewhat of a romantic feel to it in a sullen broody sense,i think rain can be sort of sexy sometimes, you describe the concept and feeling of rain very well, cause and effect, i like how you concentrated mainly on the point of rain as a vehicle of transformation, it is very optimistic in a dark silent way. a simple subject and you turned into something beautiful in your hands. you played around with the contradiction of water as well which was good, water can give or take away life, very well written piece of poetry, i enjoyed it very much
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i maybe be confused with something else, though....but the name sounds familiar....:]
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Great
Outstanding! I so enjoyed reading this poem. Great images and all the rest!! Can't wait to read more of your work! Thanks for sharing...if I had applause It would be yours. Though I think you probably have enough
~Creatress ~
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nd416: mentioned in your english class? really? would you be willing to confirm this? i'm very curious because i haven't heard of this particular poetic form ever being discussed in a school setting before.
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PDK: not certain i understand what you're saying.
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im not the sort for long poems but this is as short as it could be it creates such a detailed picture over a simple event very deep and a real thriller, maybe some lyrics in the future, great job
mask -
i think we might have mentioned this type of poetry in my english class, but it's very new to me, but i love it!!....it's really deep with comparisons, and imagery....it's really great--i love the rain and this poem really covered all it could do....awesome....g'day....:]
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What a magnificent poem. Every word is a jewel. It is so wonderful to read, wondering what beautiful words will come next. I really enjoyed readin this piece.
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wow..... What more can I say. Amazing imagry, and It touched me, I felt the words. You are Amazing. Just wow.
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Excellant and fun
An incredible write. You've summed up my feelings about the rain quite well, thank you. -
Thanks for including the link- it's nice to be able to learn the type of poem the poet used. I wish more poeple would put the link in.
Your poem was great! I liked the second to last stanza best -
good
I liked this very much though this
Immerse this arid air in contemplative mood
until the asphalt mirrors every minute;
come lend your rolling cover; shade this dry cracked ground
where seeds have rarely sprouted into life;
grant a brief reprieve from endless drought;
raise from out the waves your phasing layers.
Fill the world with stillness; play that quiet sound
which puddles every lane with rippled moments
and dim the raging colors that siege a weary mind,
electric bright beneath cerulean drapes,
the overwhelming crush of open skies;
grant a brief reprieve from endless drought.
seemed a bit tough and somewhat hard to comprehend. Maybe it is just me though. I loved it though and will keep reading it. -
I really enjoyed reading this. It was very comforting in someway that I really cant explain or understand..It just touched me. Great work..Thank you for sharing.
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This was a really enjoyable poem.This piece was so powerful and descriptive.You've done a wonderful job on this.Thanx for sharing.Keep up the amazing work.
God BLess
Plzdiefasterlove -
I was really enjoying this untill the end. Kind of confusing to me. But you know what you're trying to say & I appreciate your sharing.
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I'm not familiar with this form of poetry but I love it! This poem is so great and description. It's very beautiful, you wrote it so well
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I loved reading this......and the comparrison between life and nature is wonderfuly done......Rain seems to ease all the land and the soul as it washes over and cleanses........Awsome job
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Immerse this arid air in contemplative mood
until the asphalt mirrors every minute;
come lend your rolling cover; shade this dry cracked ground
where seeds have rarely sprouted into life;
grant a brief reprieve from endless drought;
raise from out the waves your phasing layers.
so here poet is adament to operate the truth through the poetic surgery..this is done by the Doctor of poetry..isn't..? Great depth here
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this poem reveals a lot about yourself. you've gone through a lot in life and your brave enough to share that with others. that i respect you for, me, i couldn't do it.
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I loved the beginning of the poem, those are the best kinds of poems, well, I would leave a bigger comment, but gosh I am tired. Keep up the good work, and the blade part of this poem made me want to read on. - Lance Ryan Williams: To be forgotten is worse then death.
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I'm not sure exactly what a hybridanelle is because I've never heard of them before, but I think you did just a really good job with this because it's so...like, wow seriously. I'm not sure what to say other than wow, but I think that about says everything I wanna say right now.
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Zohar, its been a while since I've peeked in on you. This hybridanelle has reached an expressive peak. I've often enjoyed how you weave together natural phenomena with the inner landscape of the soul. This particular one weaves together the weather patterns of both. Inner and outer drought, desire for a cleansing, an opening of the sky, anticipation in the face of grief and destruction of cycling into a new day.
I'm terribly sad to learn of your recent loss, I do hope you are able to water the seeds of new happiness in your universe.
Most sincerely,
slender spider. -
I can read this poem on two levels, firstly on a personal level where it speak of someone who is lacking something and secondly, and to me the strongest, of drought.
The images have a stark reality of what drought is. The repetition that is part of the form of this poem conveys the relentless sameness of what it is like to live through drought. This poem has engendered a strong emotional response in me. -
non pareil
As fine as fine can be! Do NOT upset a hair of this!
Yes, not mentioning rain or rain things must have been difficult but, the poem read as a true story, myself forgetting how these are formatted.
Beautiful! No doubt in my mind whatsoever!
Drop-dead gorgeous!
Regards,
John
PS> Will respond to this again, sans sleep medication!LOL -
My Soul Moaned
I think of tears ....nothing but falling tears hitting the floor releasing pressure, past love, potential hate, rage,....watering dry life that is about to crack...my soul moaned as I was reading this...I hope you are doing ok....
KAY
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