How beautiful is she that you left me for her?
Could she really satisfy all of your wants and your needs?
What does she have that I do not possess?
Suicide…how could you give in to her deadly ways?
She led you into a trap
And now you are paying for your consequences
I(Life) offered you happiness
But you couldn't’t stand me
So instead
You left me for her
Your beloved Suicide
What have you to show for it
Besides a cold, pale body
That is now six feet under?
Author notes
OPTION 2
This write has people to represent life and suicide. It's about a guy who left the woman he loved (Life) for another woman (Suicide) and it ended up costing him his life.
Written July 30th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Options..Options..Options by fallenangel671.
1200 points, ended July 13, 2007, 52 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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This is good, and emotional. I like the clever way you played off life and suicide, the way suicide cost him his life (hehe). A very good poem, thanks for entering and good luck.
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WOW
wow awesome poem darling it was awesome and i loved this poem, it was awesome darling,
just lovely♥
good luck in the contest
keep writing
~Ashley~<3 -
wow
i really enjoyed it you worded this poem so beautifully
well awsome job keep up the great writing
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i think you deffinatly could have brought more emotion into this, more hate, or even pain, on either side. expand on it.
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I fully Agree! Suicide Sucks! And especially the in the way you have described!!! Great writing with this!'d. Take Care and Good luck in the Contest!
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Wow
Absolutely freakin' amazing. I thought at the begging it was just the normal "I want to die because he cheated on me," crap, but it wasn't at all. I love it. I love that you refer to suicide as a person, and life to. It's absolutely brilliant
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Nice work, I love the way you approached this. The personification of life and suicide is really great.
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Interesting, a very dark and depressing poem. The way you wrote the poem was interesting too, the way it seemed as though the writer was reading their words aloud. Good luck.
~Oka
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Wow. This confused me at first but then I sorted it out and realised how beautiful it is.
Great job!
Good luck!
Taylor. -
very clever. i like that you personified suicide and life. nice.
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I've never read a poem like this one.
I'm glad i came across yours. I very
much enjoyed it. good luck in the conest
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nice work/anything like this is always fun to read...I like how you really know what your talking about....i like the emotion.keep it up!!!
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interesting concept for sure. Well, done and thank you for sharing. I think you did an outstanding job on this poem. Another magnificent poem to your collection. This is a great poem. I love it all... the poem, the background, the topic....it's all great. there is a depth and undertone to this that goes and flows excellently. keep writing......you have a lot to offer. Best of wishes to you. good luck in all that you do....peace always in all ways. You rock....
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great
wow, i really like this piece, The imagery of suicide and life is so well written, you have written it in a different way, compared to usual ways that I have read suicide poems. A job well done!
Tracey -
An interesting concept. Nice sad tone, but I did not understand the way this line was phrased, "I, Life offered you happiness" Did you mean... I (your life) offered you happiness??? Maybe if you punctuated it more correctly like, "I (Life) offered you happiness."
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wow. its really good
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This is a fantastic write. I love the imagery and the storyline. What a great piece... great job
Karen -
I thought suicide would be easier to understand if it took on the personality of a woman. It's one of those things where you get or you don't because it's kind of difficult to explain.
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im wondering.. why r u refering to suidice as she.. im just wondering. its was a great piece and i also think suicide is a very horrible way to deal with lifes troubles... wishing u te best... take care
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Great job on this.
Well written and
expressed.
Thank you for
sharing.
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:D
Wow, that was an awesome-metephorical-emotion jerking piece. I love how you made it sound like an affair between Life and Suicide, and I suppose the man could be Humanity maybe...This is an awesome write! -
Intese
Wow! AMAZING! I love it! It reminds me of my poems! Hope that you check out mine
~Missa Revolution -
That's all you can say? I expected soooo much more. tisk tisk.
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Sweet. I like this a lot. Good Job.
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wow very good writng great imagery takes one to time and place awsome job keep up te wonderful writing
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This is a very good write that you had penned here your rhythm flowed beautifully
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So instead
You left me for her
Your beloved Suicide
What have you to show for it
Besides a cold, pale body
That is now six feet under?
i love this part of the poem, i think it is a great write and a brilliant representaion,
great work
laura -
very good representation.
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