The grass is overgrown
there is litter everywhere,
the roads are full of cracks and holes
in need of much repair.
The buses are erratic
the trains keep breaking down,
abandoned cars and traffic jams
in almost every town.
The police force and the hospitals
are grossly undermanned,
and farmers losing all their stock
I just don't understand.
we have no emergency
not even a recession,
we are not a third world country
so why give that impression.
Author notes
This was written about Endland, but I guess it applies to a lot of other countries.
Written July 30th, 2006
A contest entry
- The Cries of Society by bloved.
450 points, ended July 11, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What makes you passionate? by TabbyCat.
900 points, ended March 24, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Important Issues by pinksnowboots.
570 points, ended February 19, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites Preretites Prewrites! 2 by pain is love..
490 points, ended August 2, 136 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - POWER TO THE PEOPLE by pineapple-eyes.
2000 points, ended October 25, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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Hello there, thanks for you entry here. Coming from England, I can see what you are saying but disagree with the last few lines having travelled to a few third world contries myself, we really are blessed with what we have. Best wishes.
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The police force and the hospitals
are grossly undermanned,
and farmers losing all their stock
I just don't understand.'
I too think about this kind of stuff.
great write -
Flawless flow, unforced rhyme. The message wasn't as powerful as I was hoping for, but the writing style was fantastic. You have talent, my friend.
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Thanka for entering in the contest....
Your message aplies to alot of cities...example...New York....and alot more
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thanks for entering this in the concrete jungle. I recognised it before I scrolled down...your rhyme scheme's brilliant
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England's Story.
Too true, a worthy protest indeed. Thanks for entering the contest -
No this is NOT specific to England... it could apply to very many cities world-wide... indeed, many are far worse!
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Very creative. This has really flow, and the message is definately worthy of being heard. Very well done. Thank you for entering my contest.
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Thank you for entering this competition. PLEASE READ THIS NOTCE CAREFULLY, as it affects how many points you will ultimately receive.
Please note (as there has been some misunderstanding in the past) that this is NOT a critique or appreciation of your poem (I shall do my critiques gradually over the next few days!) it is merely a notice to
a) thank you for entering!
to inform you that over the next two hours I shall be eliminating entries that clearly do not belong in this competition, or querying any doubtful ones (e.g. if it is NOT clear to which place in the UK this poem relates)
c) I shall also during this time be downloading all poems to my own computer files for judging, so that I do not need to look at your file again until I have made my assessment (This is to avoid being influenced subconsciously by critiques it may receive).
d) I shall then be transferring all eligible, or possibly eligible poems to the "preliminary finalists" file. (NB If your poem does NOT get transferred (as as happened in the past!) this does NOT mean I have rejected it, it means that something has gone wrong with my handling of this very complicated system.
e) After which - i.e. after not more than two hours from your receiving this notice, the period for critiquing other poets' entries will begin. This period will run until mid-day (London time) on Friday next, 23 March. To gain bonus points for critiquing you must WITHIN THIS PERIOD make meaningful comments (of at least 50 words each) on at least three entries.by other poets. NB Any comments you may have made earlier willNOT count towards bonus points!!!
Obviously, for this part of the competition to work properly, entrants must leave their OWN entries on the competition site during the critiquing period. However, since, in spite of all my appeals, some poets do not, it would be helpful if, when you have made your critiques, you send me an IM message informing me which poems you have critiqued - or, alternatively, insert a note in the "Author's box" of one of your entries, naming the poems critiqued.
f) I hope to have the competition judged, my critiques written and bonus points calculated by the end of the afternoon on Friday 23rd March. However, with my last competition, I had problems with by ISP, and could not access Allpoetry for a few days. By which time, the winning poet had removed his/her entry from the site - making it impossible not only to discover if other entrants had critiqued this entry, but also to allot bonus points for this entry.
PLEASE, I BEG YOU, DO NOT REMOVE YOUR POEM(S) FROM THE COMPETITION UNTIL I HAVE INFORMED YOU OF HOW MANY POINTS YOU HAVE RECEIVED - in case somethigh should go wrong with my access to the web once more!
Remember - EVERYONE who enters my competitions, and does not withdraw his/her entr(y)ies permaturely receives a small number of points (and as we used to say when playing dominoes as children "Little fishes are sweet!") - and winning and placed poets get further points (in addition to the minumum announced in the competition rules).
g) As you will recall, I launched this competition as I am currently collecting poems for a live poetry show that will be a kind of poetic travelogue of the UK. I shall be contacting the various poets concerned this AFTER the competition is would up. So, once again, I implore you, if you are interested in having your work used in this way, PLEASE do not withdraw it from the competition page prematurely.
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This is an excellent poem. The rhyme and meter just flows, and it's extremely well written. I don't really know about the problems of England.
But this poem can be related to America, as well.
This is a great poem, and a very important idea that I feel is often looked over.
I wish you the best of luck in my contest.
Peace and love
--------Connor
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Excellent poem but please edit "trains keep breaking down" (I know I'm pedantic, but spelling is important - so is grammar ; take another look at your author's comments, they don't make sense as written, though we can all work out what you mean!)
Anyway, back to the poem - it rhymes and flows well, which is good, and it's terse, but still conveys your message.
It deserves the clap, so here it is!
Well done.
Robin. -
Your home page doesn't say where you are from but it could certainly be my home as well. You have summed up some of my own thoughts on the environment I live in more than adequately.
Thanks for that and thanks for entering my competition.
Jim -
Thanks very much for your comments,I appreciate it,I did think of adding,the politicians are irratic,and the country's breaking down, thanks again.
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Very good poem
Very very good. Your piece has touched a raw nerve. For such a technologically advanced country, we are useless at getting the country moving and working the way it should.
As your poem said, the buses are erratic, the trains keep breaking down. So why are we in such a state? Very good poem. -
Thanks for your comments,I agree,it's the way we think that needs improvment,not what we invent, best wishes---Norman
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It does for the United States. We have mostly the same issues. I think that the reason we have these problems is because in trying to make our lives more simple with technology we actually made things much more complex. I really wish it was all the same as it used to be on Little house On the Prairie. Those were some good times.
♥ Tink
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Thank you so much for your comments,I really do appreciate it, best wishes---Norman
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great write. this peice really flows well and the imagery could be applied to so many places, as the others have pointed out.
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Thank you very much Clair,I really do appreciate your comments, best wishes---Norman
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Thank for your comments,I appreciate it,and I'm glad you care,so many don't seem to, thanks again---Norman
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Every word of this is true and thats why I love it. It flows so well and could also be written about Northern Ireland. Thanx for posting this wonderful piece. Claire
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cause yer a 3rd world country if you dont own the world? i care
way to mean something -
Thank you for your comments,they are very much appreciated,I didn't know it was as bad in America.
I am new to this site,so I don't really know what to do yet, I am English,and proud of it,I am 70 years old,and not so proud of that,I've been happily married for 26 years,and I am definately male,my wife will vouch for that, best wishes---Norman. -
well written...kind of depressing however...o
You say in your author's comments you're writing this about England; however the way gas prices are cutting into my budget and everyone else's this could very well be said of the ol' United States of America...
I just have to ask. How come you don't disclose whether you're male or female??? Also don't disclose where you're from??? I just had to check out some of your stuff because I thought your ap name was so quaint.
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Thanks for your comment,I didn't realise it was that bad in America as well.
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Funny, I thought you were talking about Americer. It sucks here too.
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Thank you very much for the comments,glad you liked it.best wishes.
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Great write that i can definately relate to great rhymning also.
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