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Forbidden Acts

They who need
For one whom is
Not Theirs
Shall count as
Number One

They who want much more than
They Have
Much more than
They need
That's when Number Two is done

They who consume
With no need to
Survive,
Again, and Again
Is when Number Three arrives

They who explode
On Innocent beings
On Scapegoats
On Friends
Is the heart in which Number Four strives

They who Desire
What is not theirs,
And everyones' grass
Is Greener
That's where Number Five comes in

They who move without
A Purpose
Without
A Meaning
Is Number Six of the Sins

And They who think
Themselves Higher,
Than all else
Around
Is when Number Seven shines

Author notes

Okay, the format is choppy, and I don't usually write this way, I just wanted to see if I could
Written July 30th, 2006 "I READ THE RULES" Choice#2 I made this for a contest a while ago and the contest said that I coudn't mention the name of any of the sins anywhere in the poem, so I didn't

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • February 25, 2007

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    PERFECT..

    its perefect this is one of those poems where u just want to read and it just flows easily on the aspect of wanting to knw in wht way its goin end .. i love it .. good luck ..


  • shattered logic
    February 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    nice i like how this was written, and how well you hide there names.You also showed all seven very well. It is a bit choppy but it gives it a distinguished appeal which i like and this well done good luck


  • stitchmeup19
    February 8, 2007

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    I think that this is absolutely perfection. You made this work perfectly, and in fact, I like the choppy-ness to it. The descpriptions with no out-right mentions are excellent. Kudos.


  • Calligraphy
    August 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This certainly is interesting... a bit choppy for my tastes, but then again, a choppy style can be very effective if done properly. I like how you incorporated all of the sins into one poem without using the names of any of them, and yet you made it fun for the reader to guess which one they were reading about. However, all the sporadic capital letters and how the lines are broken down made this a little difficult to read and understand in places. Still, it's unique, and I appreciate your take on it. Best of luck in the contest!

    <3Hannah


  • FlurryOfDancingFire
    August 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks, yeah, it is very strange, I just wanted to see what would come out if I wrote completely different than usually.


  • darkestcorners
    July 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    OH MY GOD! I swear, this has to be one of the most beautiful poems I have ever read. It didn't really rhyme, though it did sometimes, but it was just one of those poems were every word was placed perfectly. THis is one of those pems where you can't change a thing about it because it came from so deep a place inside you, you can't erase the words carved into your heart. You were blunt, straight to the point, and still the poem was mysterious and left plenty of legroom for each person to have their own take on the poem. Oh, my breath got all tight when I read this, no kidding. This is one of the most amazing poems I have ever read and I read it like four times!!!! LOVE IT! LOVE YOU! MISS YOU! CALL ME!

    ~Als~

1 - 6 of 6