done under
sum of stun gun apathy
acid plaque sapped stance
over roads in
home grown symbolism
enter empty premonition of empathy
ember of timber
ash imbued
lain sanely
baned and barred
upon supposed sympathy
grasp the gravel grated grip
moan mandarin or maroon
raven rash in rigid right
linger left in laymen light
racks in stacks of packs of more
grovel over underscore
mid to morning or before
lasting language sold your store
nothing breeds in vacuum pack
crafted from the snack attack
grave to given grapes in tact
break the bones in buyers crack
nonsense is as nonsense does
pretty isn't worth the suds
of fast food flame broiled imagery
that sucks the life from you or me
it may rhyme in rhythm true
politicians dance on cue
draped in daggers bent on death
of all that gives your spirit breath
so grab your armor
plug your ears
keep your eyes off all your fears
for there is something more to this
than fashion's lace and and big oil cheers
jeers and leers
in frantic face filled frolic
immigration
pestilation
love a nation
lost in translation
of war waged on televisions
and trippy turnip headed
hallucinations of grandeur
done under.
Author notes
APTP write
chaotic rhythm and rhyme intended.
Written July 30th, 2006
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
I m new at this, but I think your poem is great
-
Excellent.
Still excellent. -
So well done.
Now this was done excellantly and I commend you for doing something that I could not do. Very well done. -
It's as jumbled and chaotic as society,often not making much sense yet carrying it's own meaning with it. I mean that in the nicest possible way
Well done -
my dear friend upon my return i am faced with a new style one on first look was a riddle read again i get a better feel for, such notions in a over excited overly false society one poem that bears the truth that others return to with a strange nod or indifferent smile, she is from the 60's man she is all for love peace and free society, grate the teeth as we read on, i really liked the lines
baned and barred
upon supposed sympathy
it struck me like a bolt of lightning though unsure of the meaning for you it held great significance to me
what an amazing poem to come back to i will have to read it again i think to get a little more from it but so many favourites to catch upon
hope your well
abigail
-
Thanks, Clay. This piece has definately been a culmination of many of the world events over the last week. It has a touch of other things in it as well like things that have struck me in local advertising and buying trends etc, but some of the inuendo is simply going to be taken to mean what the reader's whim tells him at the time. Of course, that is a good thing too. I love your description of the emotional reaction. I can very much relate to it.
Beat poetry means different things depending who you ask. Originally, way back when, beat poetry was freeverse about people and segments of society who were beat, down and out, lacking, abused etc. Hence the name beat. It has since grown a bit and is more diverse in topics. In the sixties it was more protest poetry. Now it is protest, social issue, beat, and things that read well aloud. Originally beat poetry did not rhyme. Now sometimes it does. Most of the time it makes a strong statement that often is not so well received by mainstream comfortable in their station society
I am glad that it read well enough to prompt a third read. I think you get it close enough One can't really ever get in an authors head and know exactly what they were thinking at the time of writing, but when a poem gets in the readers head and makes a connection that is what counts.
Thanks for stopping by
-
Hi Thistle. This strikes me as an over-view of society viewed in the last week; an exhaustion with our society and world society (if there is such a thing). It's like a car trip without AC. Sweaty and unyielding. That is how your poem strikes me emotionally.
I am unfamiliar with Beat style poetry. I just have the stereotypical ideas about it. I've read this through several times. The first time I was lost. By the third, I caught on....I think. This style seems like one states an idea, from the outside... to the outside. Maybe this is an inaccurate statement, but it sure seems that way. Anyway, Thanks.
With Respect, Clay. -
the message rings louder than any of the poetic devices you used, and that is the true sign of poetry done well. I will miss you in the comp, but you are a fave now so I will always be checking in on you.
best wishes Wynette
peace and hugs
Richard -
This is an interesting piece as well. You used a lot of literary tools, and as Chase said there was a catchy beat to it. Best of luck.
Justin -
Oh my Oh my! THis will blow their socks off
I love the chaotic rhythm and rhyme.. it plays very well in this piece. You sweety are simply incredible. I think this is one of my favorite pieces by you that I have read
-crosses fingers-
This is wonderful!!
Love and hugs,
MEl
-
OH MY GOSH! I LOVE IT! I really like the beat poetry feel. It's nice to see someone take a chance on a write about society. I adore the wish-washy rhythm. It's really good.
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
6 old applause
