The storm was brewing fast
and the sails were hanging dead
the captain knew that soon his crew
would be hanging there instead
unless the sails were filled,
but he had not a single thought
how to do it without being killed.
"Oh, who can catch the wind," he cried,
"subdue the flighty sail
and harness the powers of the storm
yet live to tell the tale?!"
There was one maid aboard the ship,
not strong, a stowaway,
who loved the captain with all her heart
enough to give her life away.
The boat was floundering out at sea,
her mainsail not fully raised,
while flashing lightning and rolling cloud
had held the crew be dazed.
She climbed the rigging, above the deck
until she reached the spread,
the captain, looking on, then feared
this bold lass could be struck dead.
The halyard dangled, woven tight,
just out of her reach,
teasing her outstretched fingertips
as they tried to fill the breach.
She glanced up to the crow's nest high,
saw yet another problem,
if pulled to high, the mainsail would fly
sending the crew straight to the bottom.
If not enough, the sail would luff,
they'd never reach the port
in time to beat the storm to shore,
for it was a deadly sort.
The lass thought fast, for she was not
strong enough to pull
the halyard by itself, she must
throw her weight on whole.
She leapt, she snatched,
up the mains'l shot
like an arrow from a bow,
and when it reached the perfect point,
she let the hayard go.
The mainsail luffed, then billowed out,
no longer limp and dead,
but instead of the crew's lives being lost
the maid was lost instead.
She fell from the halyard above the decks
down where the whitecaps crashed,
where the angry sea, cheated of its prey,
swallowed the brave young lass.
The ship rode swiftly into port
eager the swells to pave,
but the captain stared back o'er the stern
at the poor girl's watery grave.
She'd harnessed the powers of the storm,
subdued the great mainsail,
for him she'd caught the wind, and yet-
she'd never tell her tale.
So mighty and strong her love had been
she'd given herself to the sea
to rescue her love and all his crew.
Oh, that such love could be found in me!
Author notes
(YEA CAT! SITW ^_^)
Written July 29th, 2006
A contest entry
- Ah... The Ballad by Vagabond.
390 points, ended January 30, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Epic Story Poems by Ontarah.
600 points, ended February 6, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For Epic Poets! by Minstrel Knight.
550 points, ended February 14, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Beautifully and simply done. This is the first I've read in the contest whose quest centered around such a simple task. This is a great example of how a story need not span the width and breadth of time and space to be great. Wonderful job, believable fairly well developed characters for a poem of this sort. Good luck in the contest (my apologies for getting to it so late.)
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A good tale and worthy poem. I like the fact that the main character is a heroine instead of the typical sweaty barbarian or sword swinging knight. You make good choice of words, but there are a few places where the flow of the poem could be improved. Thanks for entering and good luck!
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Good work on this poem. Thanks for entering my contest! You sure know how to tell a good story. I guess my only complaint is the format you chose to do the poem in, that is to say, in one great big long stanza rather than in several smaller ones. There was also a few places where the story was greatly simplified for the sake of preserving the Rhyme, where, with only a few small alterations, it could be made to flow more smoothly.
These lines "for him she'd caught the wind, and yet-/
she'd never tell her tale." for example, might actually sound better if reworked as "For him she'd caught the wind/For him, she couldn't fail" and would (in my opinion anyways,) improve upon the depth of the story.
In any case, whether you choose to consider my suggestions or not, this poem was written very well, and once again, thank you for entering my contest, and good luck!
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very nicely done, this is exactly what I'm hoping for in my contest. It appears to me like you've got this rhyming thing down pretty good! I love the story you've told here. Exceptional work.
Rory -
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Thank you!
Unfortunately, I cannot come up with a sotryline or excellent rhyme when it is demanded of me...must flow of my own free will...I will try to come up with something!!
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I think this is my favorite poem I've written so far. I LOVE sailing! I wrote this after the day we came into dock right before this gigantic storm hit...we were only out there for about 15 minutes...
-Cat -
long....very long...
down where the whitecaps crashed,
where the angry sea, cheated of its prey,
swallowed the brave young lass.
The ship rode swiftly into port
eager the swells to pave,
but the captain stared back o'er the stern
at the poor girl's watery grave.
for him she'd caught the wind, and yet-
she'd never tell her tale.
So mighty and strong her love had been
she'd given herself to the sea
to rescue her love and all his crew.
Oh, that such love could be found in me!
very good rhyme and a very good story indeed!!!!
Way to go, grace! wow! keep it up!!!
meg
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This is excellent. It's been a long time since I've read a poem on here that told a story and told it well. I'm especially fond of water and ships so I was immediately drawn to this when I saw the title.
At times it feels a bit ragged but most of the time it flows well. I love the way you've described hte lass and what she does for one she loves dearly. True love is truly something to treasure and knowing true love myself, I know that anything would be done for it.
Excellent piece.
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