Soft petals soaked in snow-white essence,
Like an angel floating calm on blue swirl,
Timid blossom smiling along water fence.
Soft petals soaked in snow-white essence,
with sweetened tears of her ocean eyes,
and her lotus words swim in pure immense
like aerial waves swinging refined skies.
With sweetened tears of her ocean eyes,
my floret nymph dances on muddy sands,
Even the dead from their grave fertilize,
when her warm glow kisses murky hands.
My floret nymph dances on muddy sands
Like an angel floating calm on blue swirl,
When her warm glow kisses murky hands,
on swampy lands blooms a crystal pearl.
Author notes
For me She is my White Lotus
Dedicated to my spiritual sista and friend
allpoetry.com/poets/maa
6the August ~~~ HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY SIS!!!!
{yeh my second background especially for marion
}
Written July 28th, 2006
In a list
What did you think
Comments
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and you are my Pink Lotus ...


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WOW!!! This is such a fine and exquisite poem for a person more wonderful than the word wonderful could e'er be! I enjoyed this immensely! Wonderful imagery all throughout the poem. Excellent rhymes and rhythm! The third stanza is my favourite for it is just so so perfectly apt for Marion. Following that I enjoyed the fourth stanza very much because it tied in all of your feelings for Mari very well. Awesome background! You know, it reminds me of the lotus flowers I saw at the Krishna temple the other day in Juhu

You know, when I think of Marion, I think of peace, of love, of kindness and compassion unmatched and of Amma, her spiritual Guru. Your poem has all of this in one way or the other and is a wonderful tribute from the heart to this special angel amongst all of us. A precious pearl indeed is what she is!
All the best in love and life! Hare Krishna
With thoughts of happiness in all you do,
Charishma


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hi
well Marion has told me about you, her very special sister, so I thought I would come and visit your page ( which is beautiful and very intelligent.. I think you must be heeart smart and head smart too like maa
). This poem is an amazing tribute to marion
It is so descriptive and every words seems like its from the heart. It is all true
The background is pretty and peaceful too. The rhyme and flow of the poem is perfect to me
bye for now
ellie
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uhmm yeh
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there's definitely a pattern here. it's pretty clear you're your words depict a lotus. so there probably wasn't any need to give it away in the author's comments. one way to find out just what it is people see, experience, when they read your more depictive poems is to forego the detailed explanations. this is why i just post my poems here with no explanations, but use the blog at myspace to provide detailed explanations.
"sweetened tears" is a bit sappy. there might be some other way to get that across without the saccharin phraseology.
notice that you've preceded nearly every noun with an adjective. this can get overwhelming. the only noun i see in this poem that isn't adjectified is "angel". so this might be something to work on, finding ways around the adjectives. it's not bad to use adjectives, but the reading gets a little tedious when pretty much every single noun encountered is preceded by adjectives.
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wow
momzy! I so very appreciate that your keep a track of your virutal kids so beautifully
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WONDERFUL POEM
This is so beautiful. Your imagery is quite lovely. Keep writing these wonderful poems, they are amazing. Such a pleasure to read this morning. Take care, Mum
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yeh jean...you know her better than me
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your have really got and described the spirit of maa, in a remarkable and original manner. it is a real gift of love. thank you!
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oh that's why you asked me about my eye-color ...
... and now they turned into "ocean-eyes" ...
I always wondered why my eyes were not light-blue like those of most blue-eyed people - but now thanks to your poem I realize that the dark-blue of my eyes could be symbolic of the depth of the ocean ... where the pearl is found ...
how wonderful.
thank you.
white lotus flowers in your wedding-bouquet, how amazing ...
mine was composed of pink roses and white lilies-of-the-valley.
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yay! so you liked it
...actually since last week I had something in my mind to pen down something for you and friendship day was the best occasion
...last yr i had dedicated to someone special too (you know who that person is
)
Untill few months back i didnt know that I would drop by your page somehow only to find someone similar like me
...All that you share and advise has been really helpful . I dont know wether we were destined to meet or was that just a co-incidence!...who knows, in this modern age miracles might happen through technology lol
I now know the speciality of unique lotus and these days am too obssessed with it (am gona use it in my marriage bouqet
....ok that was sick
) and hence I dedicated that white beauty to you
maybe we meet someday
Ankita
Edited on Jul 29, 2:05 because ''. -
my dearest ankeeta,
this pearl of incredible beauty and grace which is your poem, is a priceless treasure springing from your pure and generous heart. having offered it to me means more to me than you can imagine.
your soul's essence has expressed itself in those sublime words of love, compassion and peacefulness.
I am deeply moved and touched about your way of looking deep inside my heart and revealing its hidden treasure, the pearl, which sometimes still tries to hide itself inside its hard shell ...
thank you for seeing only the good in me, it is a big gift which shall help me to reinforce the qualities so that the impurities and shortcomings of my personality may diminish and fall off as soon as possible ...
may all the merits you are bestowing on me through your offering, be rewarded to you a million times.
from my deepest heart,
marion -
i really like the descriptions here great job
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Witches Apprentice,
wow what a detailed comment that was!
..yeh as "you CAN see the link"..it's dedicated to my sister!!!
Ankita -
GREAT JOB
An excellent write indeed. Who is this dedicated to...is it dedicated to anyone? What inspired you to write this poem? I love this poem it is great... surely words like this dont just pop outta no where
. You are a great artist and i will be looking forward to future posts and comments from you.
My Rating : 50/50 My Verdict : GREAT JOB -
Sorry about that. I was going to comment before but then I got to doing something else and forgot.
I really like this poem. It is very detailed with descriptions and I felt it was calming to read. I like how it flows and the pattern that it holds. Good job. -
Delicate and lovely; Full of beautiful descriptions. This poem carried the soul of the lotus in it's hand. I know your poet friend will be thrilled. Peace and Joy, Tara
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Oh! What a lovely little piece that you have written here! I like it!
I really have taken quite a liking to form poetry that I find around here. I like to see how different people handle the wording of it and all that. And I think that you have done a great job. I really love water lillies and I think you made them sound as beautiful as they are. I loved the border too. It just couldn't be more perfect! So I think that you have done a great job of expressing yourself here. So thanks for featuring this so that we all had a chance to share your words and feelings with you today!
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a beautiful dedication indeed
beautiful write
write on -
W RITE ONN !!
Very beautiful delicate tribute to the person helping in the peace add-on, Maa...
Nice flow and elegant style...












