Like a flown away letter
love wrote to me
how days are sillouette of trimmed glasses
it leaves
a slit on a fragile hand
but
it was love
that left my heart shattered across
the night.
A lipstick that made my lips look glum
with each letter
I dried the words on my heart
and it left my heart
to beat
like still grass............
.......
Author notes
NUMBER 5
I wrote it because I believe I love this boy but now It seem I just wanted to becaus he loved me.
lol love did write to me its funny how it wrote all about hate how hate is wrong and love is all good its the best thing in the world yet it was THAT same love that hurt me.
and it left my heart
to beat
like still grass
I love the ending to this it gave a different beat. There should be another lineto this but the last line is for the reader to think.
Written July 27th, 2006
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
"days are sillouette of trimmed glasses" I don't understand this poem. I understand most of it, but not all. Thanks for your entry.
-
-
days are like sillouette of trimmed glasses
they are like glasses how it leave a cut on my hands that so fragil
it like it leaves a cut on my heart that's so sad and so soft
-
-
great poem ! and nice presentation
"A lipstick that made my lips look glum
with each letter
I dried the words on my heart
and it left my heart
to beat
like still grasses " ... that's a great image!
very sad and dark..
thx for sharing
all the best
~rana~
-
Wow, this poem is really good, I could really see the images in my head. You are very discriptive with your pieces and I admire that. Keep up the fantastic work!
-
Sounds like a situation very similar to what one of my friends went through with a guy that I was crazy about... The poem's not bad. It seems a little unfinished, but maybe that's just me.
-
Not too sure what to say about this. There are some good, original ideas here, but wow! That red is hard on my eyes.
Nice job, I thank you for sharing.
~J. -
great!
WOW! This is great. Really. It totally painted an awesome picture, and I really enjoyed reading it! Keep up the good work! You've been given a gift! Awesome write.
*Lucky* -
This was quite beautiful. "it was love" was probably my favorite line, and I'm so glad that you had just those three words on that one line, because it truly emphasized the beauty of your language. Only critique I have to make is to watch the spelling on the world sillouette. I think I spelled that right, but still, I would check it. I really enjoyed reading this poem, well done.
-
it was love
that left my heart shattered across
the night
a lipstick that made my lips look glum
with each letter
I dried the words on my heart
this is the penning by the soul..and paper is used from the heart..great work..
-
keep it up
i dont know what to say it was a great peice keep it up -
Short and sweet.
Just the way that I like it.
I liked this write alot!
I really did enjoy it.
You did a great job on it.
Well done!
Thanks for sharing!
Be sure to check out some of my
work when you have the time!
Safely hidden in the darkness,
~The Rocker who lost all aka Sacred Shadows -
really enjoyed this
write on
firequeen -
really great job with this write.
i loved it. -
Excellent
You realy did a good job with this very indepth the Imagry was great.
I liked the very first line just draws you right in .
Like a flown away letter love writes too me.
This is what I call real tallent.
Good luck in the Contest.
Arlie (ED,) -
i understand this feeling, i think it may be something i am going through but the other way around,
this is a really good poem thank you for entering my contest
laura
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
4 old applause
