I’m flapping eagerly
to your eye’s star;
That the sky’s stars are mortal.
And when the Night gathers its tinseled curtain,
They disappear.
But the diamond of your narcissus
Is lustrous and immortal.
And will blink and shine
To the eyes of clairvoyant lovers.
Author notes
Jiksaay is a Kurdish word in Kormanj accent and it means a sky full of blinking and shining stars (star=Jik). I wanted to have a comparison between the stars of the night sky and two stars in Beloved’s eyes.
Contest Prompt:stars
Written April 14th, 2006
A contest entry
- PREWRITES... Group contest for Chocolate-eating peg-leg Pirates! by Periwinkle Blue.
900 points, ended September 28, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Congratulations on your Gold on this write, hon...A Kurdish word..How interesting...Beautiful write! Mom
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So stunning my dear Vernal for you have captured the light in the darkness,, upon a twinkling star.. much love and i have missed you so .. Congrats on the shiny gold hugs always Angel♥
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Oh honey! Love you whereever I am
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I love you to sweet one always
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Cleverly penned with lines of smart imagery.
I read it and thought that your talent is happily put forth here and made me glad you came to our pirate party! 
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Thank you dear poet for encouraging words here and the gold! I just login today after over a week amd saw your kind message and comment. I'll think of a good thing for the contest and hopefully send it tomorrow. Thanks again
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My favorite line, "...Night gathers its tinseled curtain" and in reading this I can say, I now know a Kurdish word.
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Ah thank you, dear lady for kind words here!
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Oh darling it certainly is not fair. At least you have the starry sky with which to image the perfection of your soulmates eyes! I loved the unique subject of this write; I am glad you explained the words because it gave a deeper level of meaning to me. Thank you for sharing and thank you for entering my contest.
-d0l -
okay... the words to this were amazing. words that aren't usually used. i liked that. it was a beautiful poem and i highly enjoyed reading it. thank you for entering and i wish you the best of luck.
-apelia- -
oh my dear daughter, what beautiful words you chose here in your poem, the scenes you painted are so glittery and nice and you know what, very wise. lovely baby. but i dont know if i would ever qualify as a clairvoyant lover. i wish i were.
lots of love.
keep penning and enriching us with your gems dear -
THIS IS AMAZING
that was amazing. i really loved how you put such a meaningful thought into this poem. i enjoyed reading the variety of your vocabulary because it was like a breath of fresh air..one of my favorite parts was were you said
"That the sky’s stars are mortal. And when the Night gathers its tinseled curtain,They disappear."
It was truly wonderful and for the longest time i havent read someone's poetry which is original, and your poetry is very original and you have your own style of writing which makes me content when i read you poetry...
I hope all is well with you and i give you the best wishes with your poetry.
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Dear Aunti, I do appreciate your beautiful words. They're always a big encouragment for me
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A good English translation of jiksaay would be a panoply of stars. I'm undecided on the word flapping. I think throbbing would fit better. As usual your poetry is unique. And because of this, I read between the lines and find substance. When you put spaces at the beginning of a line, you mean for the reader to pause. I don't think that is what you want. It is not necessarily annoying, but is distracting from the beauty of the lines and the flow of the words. I continue to like the beauty of your thoughts.
Edited on Aug 11, 8:22 p.m. because ''. -
I still do not understand what "Jiksaay" means or you can say what the most poetic word is.
I really like this poem. It is very magical and beautiful. But you could just edit the full-stops at the beginning of the lines coz they look weird and sort of annoying.
I really enjoyed reading this.
Keep on writing,
Nooni
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Thanks Pasha for your beautiful words. Jiksaay means a night sky full of stars..lonely stars.
Kormanj is not a languauge. It is dialect spoken in the Northern Khorasan where I live in. -
Beautiful poem. Well written. I would also like to know what means the most poetic word you know, Jiksaay. And I I am also curious to know more about Kormanji. Where is this language spoken? By whom? Tell me more.
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And what does mean the most poetic word you know ?
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Short, precised and a unique style of presentation. Good piece of work. The idea and thought in your work is indeed,
"the diamond of your narcissus
. Is lustrous and immortal"
thanks for sharing.
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