Let the tears fall like the drops of sin that they truly are
I doubt you can feel the laceration hidden within every s c a r
She blasts the stereo so she can't hear the nasty thoughts in her head
She closes her eyes so she can't see the wounds where her heart once
B
L
E
D
You silly fool, you believed her when she said that she was fine
All that's remained are bloodshot eyes and bleeding strawberry lines
They teased and tormented her, pushed her to the--->> E D G E
To them she would be better off ×dead×
So she sits in her room with those thoughts on her mind
Crying those acid tears, has left this poor girl blind
The lithium make-up smears on her pale face
Don't bother to save her, she's
F
A
L
L
E
N
to far from grace
Her world is wrapped in heartache
How much pain can she endure before she finally breaks
Emotional chains bind her fragile soul
She has completely lost all self control
The razor mutilates her skin in a way so perfect
This is something they will N×E×V×E×R forget
A miserable suicide of a girl who was caged in her mind
You silly fool, you believed her when she said she was fine
†
Author notes
Hmmm dunno where this came from. The format is a little odd. just wanted to try something a little bit different. just tell me what you think and be brutal!
Written July 26th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Deep
I really liked this poem. It was deep and very expressful. I also like how you changed some of the words to express the poem better, for example:
her heart once
B
L
E
D
You silly fool
It really caught my eye. Well anyways excellent poem, keep up the good work.
<3 -
this is sooo good. you're an amazing writer, and i love this poem! keep up the great work and i'll comment again soon, jess.
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Amazing
OMG this is such a freaking powerful piece! i swear i have never ever read anything like this before..this is such an amazing piece..i absolutly love it.its so sad though..why wont people just take a chance and look deeper than 'i'm fine' and help save a soul? ..but great write you did a fantastic job! -
great write! it was cool in a twisted dark way. i loved the way you did the format.
keep up the good work! -
o my god, this is amazing. I love the way you formatted the poem itself, and it just flowed so beautifully. I love it!
-Lacey -
How the hell do you come up with big words like.."laceration" hell you forgot there was a day of the week! Anyways nice poem I liked it. LIke every one said..a little twisted but other wise good. I feel better. I got my friend!
I've never been soo happy about getting it!
Ttyl
I SM'ORE YOU!
Jamie
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Nice Isa. Skilled. Not your best but you killed sh.it! keep writing.
~CRisSi -
OMFG Isa.
I absolutely adore this. ♥
The flow in this was just absolutely amazing and the rhyming was like seriously crazy [you amaze me with that so much]. It was very well written, and it just sounded really beautiful when read aloud. The words fit together perfectly, although I agree with Amy about the line "How much pain can she endure before she finally breaks" but otherwise it was like perfection written on paper [or in this case typed on a webpage]. I would pick a line or two out of your poem that I liked the best like I usually do but then I would have posted the whole poem back into this box. Also I really like the layout, it seems to fit with the poem so well and you have everything in a place where it seems to have the most effect. I like..got the automatic attachment to the way you wrote this line: "They teased and tormented her, pushed her to the--->> E D G E" Why I do not know but I thought it was pretty cool.. Enough of my rambling. I will leave you with this final statement: I frickin' love this, it's absolutely amazing.
xxJessieMK
Edited on Jul 27, 11:21 because '>>'. -
ISABEL! I love the dark, twisted emotion in this, as well as it being a sad poem. The flow is amazing, and I love the way you've set it up. The only part of the whole poem that was off, to be honest, is this one line, "How much pain can she endure before she finally breaks" , I think. If you changed it to, "How much pain she endures before she finally breaks," or something, it would fit better. That's just my honest opinion. The write is still amazing and I wish I could write as good as you. Much love to you always; hope things are alright. I'm here for ya. Love ya, byebye.
»» xx Amy -
i like this, sad morbid and twisted. you really do have a flare for dark poetry!
Abused
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Wooow... Twisted but i liked it. It was really sad. I could hear the bitterness of the line 'You silly fool, you beleieved her when she said she was fine'
I lliked the line 'This is something they will NxExVxExR forget'. Im not sure why... But the way you wrote never seemed to attract me to the line...=$
I really liked the layout, i thought it was different and it worked with the poem.
xXx
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