The **good verse evil ** books were so easy to be defined as. yet as I searched on my quest to figure out exactly what made up this so called type I found myself stuck right in its center. The easily defined books made up of the regular *good and bad fighting* couldn't come close to witnessing them first hand in real life. No, unfortunately I hate to say this is not just my imagination, this time it was all to real. the drama, the action, and everything in between came no where near imaginations idea of it all.
By now you're all probably wondering who I am. well at first it was simple to answer. I was carefree, helpful, happy, shy to say the least. I was a young teenager fighting in the social world for some respect. i was someone with a vision of everything so easy to crush. I was the one who always wanted to help, to understand, to fix the problem at hand. but the more time past , the more we all grew up, the more i questioned who exactly we all were. If I, myself, Lucinda, couldn't figure it out, I was off to find out. Which is how all this mess came to exist.
***I had hoped to say that none of this was my fault but I couldn't deny the truth. quick fact for all you listeners truth tends to catch up with you quick. of course, when this all started I didn't know that. so my story, my drama and the world around me somehow came to be know as this silly little book. Of coarse I'm not all that great but that's how they're displaying it. who's they? well they are the evil people i have to deal with every day. my peers, my rivals, the evil demons who walked the halls everyday just waiting to pick on me. well for once in my life after having stood up for so long I fell. I caved. I crashed. In the blink of an eye the world of social popularity came crashing down at my feet. To understand all of this rambling completely, we have to go back. Back to 8 am on oct 23rd. Back to **broad-bridge** high school.
~~~
Amanda Binkley walked across the freshly cut lawn towards the brick building. The school buses had dropped all the freshmen, sophomore, juniors, and seniors off and now the teens were headed to classes in the October chill. Amanda�s blonde hair blew up in her face with the wind as she opened the doors to the high school. Walking down the long halls she entered her home room and sat down in her assigned seat. After the morning announcements everyone headed to their first class of the day.
While I watched Amanda go throughout her day I noticed she came across the rougher crowd and started to get ruffed up a bit. As school ended the same group surrounded Amanda and started being rude. It got rowdy after a while so I came in and protected Amanda. In the process of which I changed my own future drastically.
(UNFINISHED)
Author notes
this is just a rough draft of a story that i couldnt get outa my head its far from being finished altough i got the main outline of whats happening i donno how to write it quite yet. the things in **these things** are personal notes to myself so ignore em thanks for the time u took to read! leave a critique!
Written July 25th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
It needs proof reading for spelling mistakes some of which I saw and it needs puncutation checks and it needs capitalization checks...Other then this it held my interest. With those in place it should be a good write...Go back read it out loud and listen to how it sounds that should enable you to proof it rather well and then get someone else in rl to write notes for you on what it needs along with some suggestions
-
ok.. this is really good.. you have some capitalization errors.. but other then that this is really good. there are some spots that were a little rough like the first two paragraphs.. they were really good, but where to they fit into the story? i understand that they might b the prologue and that is understandable.. but you need to clearly mark that. because i thought it was part of the story and then the last paragraph came and i was like what? she was just talking about a book....?
i agree with Sea Breeze though, it is a very good outline and a very good start.
beth, don't take this the wrong way, i am just trying to helkp.
cat~
Edited on Jul 27, 9:34 because 'cause i am .... ooo a butterfly'. -
It was quite confusing, the only part i really almost understood was the last paragraph. It is a very jumbled together outline, the plot sounds awesome and interesting, but when i read the first part, it was so confusing and mixed up into words that i lost my interest until the last part(which sounds pretty cool!) anyways i don't mean to sound rude, just critiquing and offering my opinion! Don't let this stop you keep writing !!!
xoxo
~~DBB~~~ -
no no i meant you typed it when you were tired.
-
i didnt write it really when i was tired i wrote it awhile ago and it still sucks i doubt ill ever touch it again i got nothing for it althought i have the basic outline of the story idk how ro write it out and make it sound good
-
I think you just have to run it through the spell checker and your head for some grammatics and stuff, but it was a quick write and you want to sleep. So just run it through your head and i'll continue to read!!!
xooxoxoxo
Rosita
Edited on Jul 26, 1:05 p.m. because ''.
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
1 old applause
