I was lost through the ages,cut from the pages.
Forgotten by time and space. Me in a very unfamiliar place...
Tattered and torn by the system... your system...
Underneath the radiant sky i burst into a state of intergalactic trance.
Meet me at the ends of the horizons between hope and loathing.
The birth of a galaxy is awaiting the coming of tomorrow, my reprise for my convictions.
Tonight we bid goodnight to our sorrows and by the breaking dawn i cease to exist...
Author notes
Written July 25th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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wow...
I loved this...it was very nice!!!
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I think this poem has great flow throughout it. I loved this line: "Meet me at the ends of the horizons between hope and loathing." I've come up with different things this poem could be about and I think that's the beauty of it. It could mean many different things.
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This is great. It has lots of emotion and the words you used made it all the better. I love the line:
"Tonight we bid goodnight to our sorrows"
Very nice.
xoxo
pixie
and a
for you. :]
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This begins well, the 1st line works as an effective hook
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Thank you for your grand comment on my poem, I am here to return the favor. This makes me think of many things, the thing that stuck out to me the most is where you mentioned "the system...your system" sometimes i have to say, "damn the system because i have seen it squelch the very existance of many."
This has the tinge of hopelessness but as I was just reminded, somewhere....there is a light"
I like the thoughts conveyed here. -
Fantastic..I really love the way this flows..
honestly it just leaps off the page..
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thank you once more
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This is a wonderful write with great imagery.. I really enjoyed this very much
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Great write. I especially enjoyed the last line, but the whole thing was amazing. Great job, keep up the good work.
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very well written
This is very abstract in thought. I like the message you have relayed within it. Keep the faith!
Ethereal Melody
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i do like this, it has a feverish hopelessness in the words (my own opinion) to which i can relate
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Definitely a cool piece. I like it! I only see one thing I would change. In the last line of the second stanza, I would change the first word from "A" to "The"... but that's just my personal opinion - this is your poem, after all. Whatever you do with it, it's a great poem, so keep it up! Have the fun, boy-o!
~Kelsey -
Very interesting
I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it. it's interesting, and it kept my attention, but I've read it several times now and i get something different each time. No matter what reason you wrote it, it's definitely got something to it. and I think i'm beginning to like it. -
it just came out of boredom and lack of intricate thoughts. and don't believe the hype. it's all like a reefer madness. nothing makes sense... be the judge.(a sample of a dada format)
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