He slowly climbed the old splintered steps. Each one with a piercing sound as sharp as his blade. Creeping down the Victorian hall he could still hear her screams
echoing through his head and bouncing off the ancient dust covered walls.
As he staggered through down the hall with this beauty's crimson-covered,
lifeless body slung over his broad shoulder, he stretched out his massive hand
to the wall to catch his balance. The thundering sound of his weight
hitting the wall was like that of her body as he slammed her into the wall and tore at her dress.
He kicked open the bathroom door with such force that as it bounced off the wall
and fell off it's rusty hinges. He gazed upon the dimly-lit room the way he first gazed upon her body as she flaunted it with no self respect. Upon inspection he noticed the empty bathtub, with paint chipping and rust water stains.He placed her lifeless and bloodied body down inside the bathtub.
The slow, torturing drip of the sink a reminder of the clock that ticked her life away. He then reached down and turned the shower on and let the water beat down
on her blood stained body the way his fists had beat on her body. He stripped her of her tattered and bloodied dress and surveyed his masterpiece. The blood that had been shed, slowly washed away. He gazed at the large crimson covered gash in her throat. Slowly he bent down kissed the fatal wound. He stared into her pale, green eyes and then closed her eyelids, for he could no longer look into her innocent eyes.
When the water had been turned into a sea of blood he reached in and pulled her body out of the bathtub, and carried her out of the bathroom
then turned into a room off the old hallway.
He laid her on a bed of white cloth, dyed blood red in color, that of her still flowing blood. He rid himself of his torn and bloodied clothing. He walked over to her body,
empty of all life, of all love, and kissed her soft, cold lips. Then crawled onto the makeshift bed beside her and withdrew his already bloodied blade. He raised his arm,
blade in hand and closed his eyes.....
His blade fell from his hand and his arm dropped across her breasts, still bloodied and cold. His body slowly filled with his dark, rich blood. Lifeless he lay there with her.
Together their cold lifeless bodies laywith no feeling, no emotion.
What God has joined together, let NO MAN put asunder.
Author notes
picture credit
http://static.mmoabc.com/my/m/o/n/ster/2007/10/10//1192043984606.jpg
Written July 25th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Frighten me, Give me nightmares, Make me see things! by Forlorn Dreams.
440 points, ended May 27, 2007, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SCARE ME TO DEATH by thelovesongwriter.
410 points, ended June 6, 2007, 22 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Murderous, Gruesome, Sick, Twisted....... by Synthetic-Nightmare.
1600 points, ended June 8, 2007, 35 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Who can scare me? by Anonymous Shadow.
450 points, ended July 2, 2007, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - We'll die with the same knife... by xblakxrosexremainsx.
475 points, ended December 26, 2007, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inside the Mind of Madness by Synthetic-Nightmare.
1500 points, ended January 25, 2008, 34 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Poetry by Aeonna.
1090 points, ended March 6, 2008, 45 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Haunted by Virgo.
700 points, ended November 10, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 48 of 48
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I like the imagery you have captured, congrat's on the trophys also. this is the first pros I have read. thank you for entering. Good luck.
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Serial killers are so much fun to write about, and people have always been transfixed by how callous these monsters can be. This was a strong, solid write. It was very disturbing, and wove grisly images of the dead woman bloody on the bed. The way you described the two on the bed was so bizzare yet unsettling, it had an almost childlike innocence to it towards the end. This kind of reminded me of the movie "American Psycho." I can just see Christian Bale doing this sort of thing
lol. Anyways, great job! I wish you oodles of luck in the contest. But, like you said, trophies really mean nothing compared to the opinions of others 
~ Ink
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
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Thank you very much for the in depth comment, I really do appreciate it. This story actually got me writing a series that I am working on about a serial killer that is reliving each time he killed from lock up. It's rather in depth and very graphic, if you are interested maybe you could check that out sometime.
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Very creepy I liked this poem. It had an air of malice about it that I find quite pleasing. This is a really good write and you should be proud. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
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Thank you for the comment, I appreciate it. I take pride in all my writes, but these darker ones are my favorites. This one story inparticular has sparked a whole series of serial killer stories.
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creeeeepy.
I loved it.
Creepy poetry has to be my favorite. This will give me nightmares, congrats on that. I think it was a fantastic write :] -
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thank you for your comment, I am glad you enjoyed this one..
maybe i should send you the links to the story i have been working on...it makes this look like a nursery rhyme..lol
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Oh my god.... CREEPY......
the only thing that I have against this wonderfull written poem is that he put them apart... by killing her... what a disturbed man... but that was probably what you were trying to accomplish.... well you did it lol
Thank you so much for entering my contest and good luck,
~lumin -
bronze
silver
silver
gold
hm
bronze
DAMN Ktulu!!! You don't need ME to tell you that it was an excellent piece my friend!!!!
This was truly macabre and superb - well done!!!!!!!
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thanks....trophies mean less to me than good ol fashioned honest opinions
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Wow this is a really deep and vivid piece. I was riveted to this piece of prose. The ens=ding was just amazing! Wonderful write indeed.
All the best at judging
Gaylene
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Hmmm, this is great! I thoroughly enjoyed it, since I've always been fascinated with the psychology of serial killers, and you have captured that essence very well indeed, given me a glimpse into the darkest recesses of the psychopathic mind. That creepy sort of psychotic tenderness was definitely present... It feels almost too personal for my taste, but considering the contest, that's a good thing!
Just a few spelling/grammar things I'd like to point out:
Line 9 should read as, 'with this beauty's crimson-covered body...', and line 19 should be, 'dimly-lit room'. Other than that, not much else. Well done, and best of luck!
Laura
xxx
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Thank you very much for the insightful comment. I appreciate your corrections and have taken your advice. It's weird how, for as long as I have had this posted up here, Not one person that has read it, has mentioned anything wrong with it...
Great idea for a contest...thanks again
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chilling i like the background wow really chilling
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thanks
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THIS PIECE IS FUCKIN HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kudos and thanks for entering -
A very descriptive piece, wonderfully written. I love the ending, totally unexpected. Very well penned, good luck in the contest
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Thank you for entering, this had great gore and imagery. My husband and I enjoyed it!
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amazing
this poem was wonderful! full of description, it made me live the entire scene, like if i was there! the use of words was amazing!!!it made me feel like reading a story about a pyscho's life! thank you for this amazing entry! -
wow nice ! creepy alittle but dark and seductive and i dont know alot of other words that i could say but wouldnt describe this piece fantasic thank you for entering.
~Valen~
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Wow... this is... creepy... This was good but I felt it was more of a story than a poem... and you use the word "bloodied" waayyyy too much... Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
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haha only thing missing is the chill font that drips blood
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also please follow the rules because it's unfair to the other entries. thanks
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this is
seriuosly an amazing piece! -
not a problem. Soory I didn't have it in sooner but thank you for reminding me and allowing me the chance to fix it rather than DQing me
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beautiful description! this will certainly be in my nightmares!
Upon inspection he noticed the empty bathtub,
with paint chipping and rust water stains.
He placed her lifeless and bloodied body
down inside the bathtub.
great job and good luck. -
HOLY SHIT!
THIS HAS TO BE ONE OF THES BEST PIECES I'VE EVER READ FROM SOMEONE. This was so twisted and dark, frightening! SO WELL DONE, i love twisted murderous poems like this, especially that method of death since it's one that most people seem to really fear.....kudos! YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF TALENT!
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Thank you very much for your comment, I really appreciate it. Glad you enjoyed this.
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thanks for entering! this was GREAT! it left me wondering as i read faster, its more of a story though. good luck!
~Kelcey -
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thank you for commenting. Actually this was originally written in story form, however I seperated it to make it more poetic because it was so short.
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Such a horrific love story...This one far better than the whiney love mush of "Romeo and Juliet"...Quite a tale you have spun with your words and imagination, poet...
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Wow.. this was absolutely amazing. I can see everything happening in my mind.. It's like an old scary story.. with a sort of twisted romanticism to it.. I loved it.
~Kitten~
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thank you kitten...I reworked it a bit, I used to have it in story form but I kinda like it in poetic form better
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I loved this "it amused me greatly." as mmb would say!
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Wow, great story. So visual. Great imagery you created. It did play like a movie. Awesome writing. Very chilling. Thank you for this entry. Good luck!
Jeannie D Hunter
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Congratulations!!
Magnificent write fellow Poet!!
I'm working on story writing and this gave me much to learn from! The title definitely peaks interest and the storyline keeps the reader wanting more....
Congratulations on your trophy win!!
Many blessings to You!
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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That's so awesome. Thanks so much for this very dark, descriptive write. Very Halloween-y! Good luck in the contest and thanks again!
Amanda -
Great write Ktulu! Thanks for sharing and good luck
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Interesting ending, although this seemed more like a first draft then anything else. I saw a few errors as well as repitition of words, like crimson, bodies, eyes and lifeless. But nonetheless, my friend, I liked this. It reminded me of some Leatherface sort of shit, you know? Good stuff. Good short story you got here. You are talented, my friend.
~Dead Kennedy Rolls -
It was an awesome short story. It leaves you wanting more, and you could easily turn this into something larger. I like not knowing exactly what it was that drove him to his bloody deed. Of course we can draw our own conclusions, but the uncertainty is invigorating. The visuals were lovely if you're into bloody thrillers, which I most certainly am. I would love to see more short stories from you in the future. I would tell you some of my favorite parts, but it would take too long. But I found it intriguing that he could veiw her as flaunting her body, but also see her eyes as innocent. That was a complex character personality twist that I found especially interesting. I very much would mind peering into this guy's mind to see what makes him tick. Thanks again. Bravo
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thank you Kristi. I am glad that you enjoyed this thriller...Kind of like a crime of passion..
*Ktulu* -
WOW, this is an awesome write. The imagry from this is so real it's almost creepy! Keep me wondering what he was gonna do with her and that's always nice for a good thrilling piece. Excellent job. Best of luck to ya.
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Thank you Kari, I am glad that you liked this, and thank you for commenting and your applause...I appreciate it.
*Ktulu Blackwolfe* -
BloodThristy Now! WOW!
wow I loved the blood talk...you wrote that very descriptive..blood tho has been always one thing I am drawn to...and you have put together many things in here I am drawn to...this is one of the best I have read I loved it..
Dark...mixture of a sick weird sensual feeling....thrilling...
in the end...he did get his Karma -
thank you very much for your comment, I appreciate it alot.
*Ktulu Blackwolfe* -
Thank you very much for your comment. I appreciate it much.
*Ktulu Blackwolfe* -
Dear Ktulu Blackwolf,
Way to go!!!!
This was suspence at the fullest! Had me wondering what was he going to do - until the end.
Good Luck in the contest!
Tang -
Wow! What a write! Awesome dark write, my friend! I very much enjoyed the reading of this! All the best to you!
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