There was a moon
There was a moon last night & stars
no one could count.
There appeared to be no space between
them. I went into the hills one winter
& sat atop Jack's Knob alone-no light
around me except the stars
few & far between
clouds. It was as if
a poem waited in Upchurch Hollow
for some poet to look down on it
& gather its words the way
my grandmother gathered eggs up
from hidden nests in tall sedge
in time of bloom & blossom.
I looked down on it
& a breeze blew snow up
to melt against my cheeks.
Author notes
Written July 25th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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You give me much credit for feelings that are yours alone. Thanks...
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Jaden--Thanks & I hope you are deep in the waters of some new project...
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Lisa,
It is great to hear from my readers. I have to thank Zara for sending you, but your coming has done that better than I can. My line breaks are always intentional. I would say that you should still write your poem. No one can imitate another's exact feelings... -
Yes, zara--you have it exactly...
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Lisa sent me to you and I'm so glad she did.
I've seen nights like this, and felt snow on my face and thought of poems waiting to be written, or paintings waiting to be done and even if I hadn't, after reading this, I would have known what it was like.
D
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Zara sent me. I'm glad she did. What surprising and pleasing line breaks here. Nevermind the beauty of the sky and stars. Someone told me who was in Yemen that literally one night he was sleeping outside in the mountains and there was really nearly no blue between the stars. I've had the picture in my mind for a poem for a while. No need for me to write it now.
Love eggs and sedge.
Really good poem. but you probably know that. Still though, nice to hear from your readers...
Lisa -
ah, so the snow . . . sometimes the words take a long time to melt into poems, eh?
Love this.
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Hello, AP daughter... I've checked out your words.
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This is an amazing poem! I like the imagery you used in this. I like the story that you told in this poem! Great piece!! Keep up the fabulous writing!!!
Your AP daughter,
~Horsecowgirl~ -
Chubby, ed, you pick up on the space between & highlight it well in your comment. I stand advised: wrath of khan and shaka kahn...
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Wendy, I have done few grandma poems, but I like the ones I have completed. Hope to get back into the read of your words soon.
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Thanks, Jaden for your continued support. I plan on getting back to AllPoetry and friends more often over the coming weeks and months. When you forget to shut the door to your hen house, foxlike, I'll slip in...
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shaka kahn
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wrath of khan
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those poems can sure spray some cold flakes up in your face. i forget that you call that...oh, enjambment. Nice use of it here with all the seemingly stand-alone 'between' phrases that continue into the following stanzas, creating a space between
the words. that's cold, man. YOu oughta leave them words alone.
shock of cold. -
Gorgeous ... you have such eloquence and style. This touched me... but poems that include grandma always do ;-)
I always love the experience of reading you Rudy.
Excellent,
~ Wendy -
Awesome. One is never disappointed when reading an mt poem.
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