Fat and single and ready to mingle,
Dance alone to my own little jingle
Don't come to me, with your foul pimple,
I want you gorgeous, with needs so simple,
Always cheerful, don't ever grumble,
At my beck and call, for me to fumble
Your wants, I don't want to hear you mumble
I'm a man with needs, even though I'm humble
Author notes
I would like to thank Bob (WELSHDRAGON) for helping me with a rewrite and perking it up athough he is a man, but he is not that type otherwise he would have given me hardtime.lol
I was watching a rerun of friends and these words "fat and single and ready to mingle" made me laugh so much and inspired me these words
Some men think they are God's answer to the helpless single women in search for a suitable boyfriend or their knight in shining armor. They dictate their conditions and they dont even take a second look at their ownselves.
Written July 25th, 2006
A contest entry
- Tickle My Funny Bone! by HaloElite.
550 points, ended July 16, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter All Your Abuse Writes Here! (Part III) by xxRainbowDawnxx.
1650 points, ended April 27, 2008, 95 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Best Pre-Written Rhyme by piccola.
800 points, ended August 15, 2008, 90 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Stuff and Nonsense... spoofs and silly poems... PREWRITES by PinkPony.
700 points, ended March 28, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 50 of 50
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Single we might always be, tied up to an apple tree. Cute poem with smiles all tucked in!
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this has so much truth in it even though it is funny. My gripe about men is that they get older but desire young shapely women...as if time stood still where they are concerned. Bastards. I hate men lol.
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Men sometimes can be so selfish and just want to please themselves, not you. In fact, I'm suspicious of men who want to pleasure you first, like my ex he was always that way at the start, 'I want to touch you and make you feel good...' once we had sex of course, it changed ALOT and then it was all about him.
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Ha! I guess you must be talking about all the guys who have lists of what a woman CAN'T be. Yes, there are some of those out there, but I guess there are women out there with their lists as well.
It was nice of you to give an open thanks to your friend, Bob, who helped you with your rewrite. You both did a really good job on this. Thank you for your entry. Patricia -
Thank you dear for allowing me in.
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Thank you! This is wonderful! I love the funny spirit to it! Very uplifting thank you so much I'm glad you decided to enter it halps all the greater! Thanx and good luck!
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my dear it is sad, but i dont think we as women, and wives later on, are allowed to grumble much, or get sick much, we should be strong. and tell you the truth, we are. but it is tiring to be strong all the time or having to be like that, isnt it?
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VERY CATCHY!
This is very catchy, and yes we men do tend to grumble about things in our day.
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thanks dear. i will try. but you know those moments are not many. but i really love that way. i will keep trying. thanks for your kind words of encouragement
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hey thts pretty good.... you do have a flare for humor poetry! keep it up and make us laugh more!!!
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This one brightened my mood from all of these depressing entries. I'm glad someone still has a sense of humor in this place! Well said about the whole subject. Thanks for entering and best of luck!
Madison -
oh my God, you agree with me? lol. well unfortunately a lot of men behave like that! ok, i have another project on my mind and i can send you the outline, and we can do it collab. i am glad you liked it.
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hilarious
Oh hell yes! I think the highest compliment I give you on this one is " I wish I could call it mine". I see we will have fun with our poetry. -
OH BABBY I KNEW IT, YOU ARE THE MOST NICEST PERSON I HAVE EVER MET BABBY BABBY LOVE. WELL SHAHRZAD THINKS I AM AFFECTED BY YOU!
))
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THANK YOU BEAUTIFUL LADY OF THE ONE AND THOUSAND NIGHTS. YES I WAS THINKING OF BABBY AND HIS WAY OF MAKING FUN OF THINGS. BUT I THINK IT IS ONCE IN A LIFE TIME.
LOVE YOU TOO -
Babby had bad effect on you my dear friend.
Love you
Shahrzad
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Nermo, this is hilarious... very very funny...
I love you regardless your foul pimple
and I'll listen to your mumble all night
All the best.
babby
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and i loved your comment and your far-sightedness and understanding of men. well, i meant it funny because it is really ridiculous, well it is like shar el baleya, but the even more ridiculous thing is that a lot of women accept that crap in order to be with a man... so sad. thanks for your encouraging words. but then, are there no more reasonable men? i am really losing hope. lol
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This is so right honey, most men think this way. I enjoyed reading it a lot but it made me laugh; I laugh at how women can read the man's mind while men believe they are deep and mysterious and women are too stupid to figure them out. Good job.
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this is really funny and true regarding what some when would like but men are not like than anymore!
It has a very nicely too.
Keep on writing and good luck in the contest.
Nooni
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thank you ya habibty. yeah it is so sad because a lot of women accept this too and it is so true, we are not superwomen we are human beings.
thanks dear for the good wishes. love ya -
this is funny but at the same time real sad....cuz its so true. They expect us to be drop dead gorgeous & they don't care if they're not....i think the media caused all of this.
but fab write ya nermo good luck in the contest...ya rab teksabi
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definitely, i was talking to kal about that, we said the same thing. of course lots of women are like that too and men marry them for the sake of money or connections, for convenience, but you speak so well for women here too. i am glad a man thinks that way.
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A WONDERFUL POEM, SO VERY TRUE
Yes, even though I am a man I know we can be so self-centered, but I have also seen so many women like that too. A wonderful poem! -
lol you've got some light hearted words penned down there..though i wish there was another line with the whole single mingle and all..great poem!
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LOL yes this is a funny one like the rhyme and the words flow with ease and wrote with such a eye for insight of the single life which is not always pretty great job on this one ....
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Thank you very much dear. yes it is so sad that this is true and unfortunately too many women yield to the ugly souls and fat brains of some man who control them, and all under the pretext of not spending their own lives alone.
thank you -
Thank you very much dear Kal
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Some men do think this way, sad to say, as if they were doing every woman a favour. Liked the humour behind this poem, but too sad that this is real as well. (apostrophe in don't in last line)
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"fat and single and ready to mingle" From friends
Wonderful I liked it alot, and the comment you gave is so true! Though I'm not a guy like that in any way so don't worry. I dont usually read much humorous poems but this is an exception, I really liked the idea the idea came from a rerun of friends, one of my most favoured series
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thanks dear very much, those lines made me laugh so much
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and thank you dear for letting me in your contest!
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thanks dear. yeah, if he were fat with a good heart and jolly personality, loving a caring and intelligent, well doesnt matter as being fat isnt really the issue but fat her is also a fat head and fat ARSE! oh my. thank you dear, thanks
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Oh my God dear, you made me laugh so much, yes we shouldnt grumble, should be humble, gorgeous and healthy, and better if we are wealthy and all to be blesse with his fat stupid ass. i am talking of course about That kind of man, but generally yes no grumbling and no sickness and thriftiness is a must and of course lust is prescribed, by how i wonder! lol
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Oh My my Rich, that is LOvely my friend and so so cute and beautiful your words are. you made my day dear friend
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Thank you soooo soo much dear. actually you are the one who made my day. and Yes it is hard in lots of circumstances to control one's hurt.
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Yes I love that line "fat and single and ready to mingle" reminds me of a few souls I know! Clever and well done. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in the contest~!
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I hillarious and bit wit, good use of the "Fat and single and ready to mingle", phrase i really loved it.
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Well, i think you have depicted man just perfect...LOL!! Very cute poem. It took me a minute or so to completely get it..but i think i'll go back and read it again.. Haha..i only wish there were simple single dudes out there..with not a lot of fat..and if there is one i aint met him yet lmao
I also hate how some guys demand so much of their girls and dont expect the same thing out of themselves...you know... the look great, be simple, be humble..now woulnt you love it if there were a MAN such as this?? Good job on the poem
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Good for you on this one. A simple single man with not much fat sounds good to me. I love "at my beck and call, never grumble" that is what they want from women it seems. Look beautiful, be perfect, you know you need me, "I am MAN". LOL Cute poem and funny too.
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The man you shun will now be lonely
and forced to sit and talk to bubbles
as glass is tipped in foam cloud spilling
to wash the bar room floor with troubles. -
Ha, ha, ha.....
For the morning that was so cute
I like your verses absoulute
you make me to smile
and I will for awhile
my day started better
with your poetic metter.
And about men...
well, you said almost all,
but sometimes is heard to keep ones hurt under control.
~Sonja~ -
excellente
LoL...very cute testament to online dating too...
You Go Gurl..
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yeppers, very indeed!!
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Thanks dear, we are meeting a lot of these creatures around unfortunately. irritating they are.lol
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excellent :D
hahahahahaha oh dear, this is excellent, hehehehe, imma grinning and at the same time applauding your write, a clear view of how men can be!! -
thanks so much dear, i corrected it. it made me laugh that expression fat and single, there is no problem with that but some poeple are really ugly and dumb and you name it and they have nice and beautiful and very humble wives with no demands, yet they illtreat them and think they are too much for them.
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A very good write from you, I like the way you delved into one of many male shallow mind sets to create this poem. the line:
"At my back and call and your body mine any time to fumble" should read "At my beck and call". Other than that, very well done. -
love ya, yesterday it came to my mind and i laughed so much, Kaibab gave me a hillarious one and i thought well i will go to Janet to perk it up, so if you like we can do that!
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Darling NN
One man was fine
His demeanor so divine.
His vanity seemed gay.
Everyone is insane today.
Smoosh
Janet
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